Joohyun could confidently say that she reached the stardom of becoming one of the most popular YouTube Vloggers in the world.

The thing was that nobody knew of her existence at her own school.

Not that she minded in any sense, but there had to be a single person who knew of her, right? But then again, she wasn’t exactly herself in her videos.

Joohyun developed a persona through YouTube, going by the name of “Irene” instead of her given name. When she was not studying on the weekends, she spent her time traveling to tourist-attracted areas within the distance of a couple of hours and familiarized herself with her own camera. Her first video had been published about a year ago with the intentions of starting a hobby for her own family and close friends to watch. However, when the internet swept up her first vlog to pass it down from social media to social media, random people who gradually became her loyal viewers started to bump up her views and comment section.

She didn’t mind the influx of viewers. It served more as a reason to tidy herself up behind the camera and make sure there wasn’t some speck of greens stuck between her teeth or even an improperly tucked shirt into a skirt. After all, she appeared like a completely different person online compared to how she was in reality—a pair of thick framed glasses and a bare face as opposed to the contacts and makeup.

It was some time in the afternoon when Joohyun was seen in the university’s library, laptop on desk with a video editing program displayed on screen. She observed the bits of clips she edited together while nonchalantly sipping on a chilled sea cream jasmine tea until she felt a tap on her shoulder, strings inside of her ripping instantaneously for her to launch to the trackpad and minimize the program. Turning around with an anxious pace of her heartbeat and widened eyes, she was greeted with a familiar face bearing a sheepish smile.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Joohyun noticed the newcomer as Kang Seulgi, a classmate and relatively new lab partner in her preparatory chemistry class. They were stationed together in the lab portion of the subject, which automatically delivered them a few minutes for an introduction. Seulgi was a first year, majoring in something completely different from the science and math world, and the only explanation for her to be found anywhere near the chemistry building on campus was to fulfill her requirement for general education.

Joohyun wondered why Seulgi chose chemistry of all the other sciences, but she could really care less at this point because she didn’t think she would be able to receive the chance to know someone as beautiful and innocent as Seulgi.

“N-No, it’s okay,” she stammered and carefully placed her drink down next to her laptop. “Is there something you need?”

“I was just wondering if you could help me out with the study questions we have to answer for our test. You don’t mind if I sit here, right?” asked Seulgi, pointing at a seat adjacent from Joohyun.

Joohyun shook her head and received a bright smile from her lab partner in return. As soon as Seulgi sat down, she piled all of her chemistry materials in front of her, prompting Joohyun to move her laptop to the side so she could set all of her attention onto the former.

Well, her viewers were just going to have to wait a few extra hours to watch her latest trip to the art museum.

**

Seulgi did not excel greatly in chemistry.

Joohyun realized this when they received the results of their first test. After a couple of study sessions ever since the day Seulgi decided to ask for assistance, Joohyun ended up with one of the highest scores in the class (maybe because she has a knack for significant figures) whereas Seulgi landed around the average score. It was still passing and the latter ended up with a C+, but only because the lenient professor took attendance points into consideration.

“Sig figs are so dumb!” Seulgi whined one day after class.

Since Joohyun and Seulgi had about an hour to two block before their next class of the day, they settled down onto one of the chained down picnic tables next to the campus coffee cart.

“Well, sig figs are a major part of chem,” said Joohyun. “It’s better to get it now than to get screwed up in the end when you don’t remember what the rules are.”

Seulgi heaved a sigh and she pouted. “I know. If I hadn’t asked you for help, I probably wouldn’t have passed the test.”

“Hey, you managed to do it on your own! You just need to stop second guessing yourself whenever we study,” replied Joohyun, and a smile graced her lips when she observed Seulgi still pouting.

“Okay,” muttered Seulgi. She crossed her arms on the table and rested her chin on it. “I’m going to need some help still. I don’t quite remember what we just learned.”

“Sure. What are lab partners for?”

The corners of Seulgi’s lips curled up into a polite, warm smile, her eyes scrunching up beautifully to form crescents. Joohyun was momentarily in a trance, gazing at how adorable Seulgi could be without even trying, before she finally snapped herself out of it at Seulgi’s next question.

“Oh, right, I heard that there is a football game going on this weekend and the professor is giving extra credit if we go. Will you be going?”

“Oh….” Joohyun trailed off.

She had plans for the weekend to attend one of the most urbanized cities in the country since her viewers especially requested her point of view on this area. No matter how many times professors reiterated themselves at the beginning of the school year to take advantage of every extra credit opportunity the students were offered, Joohyun almost never found herself doing so, considering how well she did in her classes. And with this fact, the extra credit for the weekend never crossed her mind until Seulgi mentioned it.

Seulgi tilted her head. “Do you have plans already?”

“Not exactly,” Joohyun was quick to answer, and she straightened her body—although she wasn’t exactly sure why she did so. “I-I might go.”

“Really?” A bright grin was plastered across Seulgi’s face and Joohyun thought that she would do anything to see that smile forever in her life. “Let’s meet up beforehand! I don’t exactly know a lot of people at this school...”

Remnants of Seulgi’s smile was still noticeable even after the statement had been spewed out. Joohyun couldn’t help but to gaze at Seulgi with newfound adoration and fondness, almost as if she was to blink right then and there and avert her eyes, she would not be able to picture her smile again. There was something strange with her mind, or maybe everybody else’s minds, but if Joohyun closed her eyes for a few moments after staring at something, she would not be able to process the image completely like how she saw it during the moment her eyes were open.

Joohyun didn’t want to look away.

She desired to keep on staring, to trace every feature of Seulgi’s face, and maybe then she would be able to form something that was not as pixelated in her mind.

Even though she couldn’t understand how Seulgi managed to make her feel this way so quickly, her lips curled up into a soft smile, which caused Seulgi’s to widen at her response. Joohyun didn’t even say she was attending the football game for certain, but Seulgi appeared too ecstatic and endearing to reject.

“Sure, why not?”

**

I first met this person through a class I was taking at the school I’m at.

I didn’t think much of it at first, of course.

I thought she’d be a classmate for the semester—we’d become acquaintances, or even friends, and she’d be someone I’d hit up every now and then to catch up.

Oh, right.

I said, “she,” huh?

I’m guessing you didn’t think this person is a girl, am I right?

Believe me…

I didn’t think she had that much of an effect on me.

But she did—

—sorry,

I mean, does.

She still makes me feel funny inside.

**

It may be the fact that it was the weekend with lots of free time and no classes for Joohyun to notice that upon Seulgi’s appearance, the latter looked different.

But not a bad different—

Instead, a good, more attractive different.

Joohyun realized that during the weekdays when she had classes with Seulgi, the first year usually tied her hair up in a bun or high ponytail and wear clothes that might be a little too big on her—almost as if she threw on the first outfit she saw in her closet before rushing to her 8am class. This time, however, Seulgi’s dark brown hair was neatly braided over one shoulder and she donned a pair of distressed shorts with a fitted, long sleeved collared shirt.

Seulgi, once again, had a smile on her face when approaching Joohyun and she greeted her cheerfully. “Hi, Joohyun!”

Joohyun smiled softly in return. “Hi, Seulgi. Shall we go?”

The football game had potential to go better than expected. However, most of the time it was silence between the two, nothing but loud screams and cheers from their fellow college peers surrounding them or even sounds of encouragement from the both of them when their football team scored a goal. Joohyun thought about initiating a conversation, but every time she glanced over at Seulgi, the latter appeared more interested in the burly men in helmets running across the field than anything else.

She heaved a sigh to herself more than anything, placing a foot on the edge of the bench in front of her. She was tempted to go on her phone and check up on any updates from social media accounts that she missed in the past hour, but figured it might be too rude considering how this was technically her first outing with Seulgi.

Though, Seulgi might have picked up on Joohyun’s lack of interest with the football game, for she turned to stare at her and nudge her shoulder. Joohyun jolted from her blank trance and dropped her propped foot.

Seulgi lightly giggled at her. “Are you bored?”

“Hm, just a little bit,” Joohyun replied with a pout.

She almost wanted to believe that Seulgi was staring at her for a moment too long at that point. But Seulgi smiled anyway, just like she always did, and she tilted her head towards the exit closest to them.

“Do you want to leave then?”

Joohyun was alarmed. Was her company too boring for Seulgi? Did the first year expect her to become as enthusiastic and boisterous as the rest of the students around her?

“N-No, we can stay! I’m sorry I’m not that into sports….”

Seulgi shook her head and she proceeded to stand up, not minding the fact that she was blocking the view of the people behind her. She clutched onto Joohyun’s hands on her lap and pulled her up, too.

“It’s okay. I was getting a little bit bored, too, actually,” said Seulgi. “All we need to show the professor is our ticket stub anyway.”

She didn’t give Joohyun much of a choice to stay as she proceeded to drag her towards the exit. As they passed by other students wanting to watch the game compared to them, Joohyun couldn’t help but stare at the hand perfectly enclosed within Seulgi’s. She did not believe how comfortable and natural it was; Seulgi’s hand was not too small nor too big, it was just perfect with the way their hands were gently intertwined.

Joohyun believed she was feeling a little loopy when that thought processed through her mind. Kang Seulgi—she just barely met the girl. How was she able to make the same warmth course through Joohyun’s body and eventually pool up around her chest just like how she felt during her previous relationships?

Her last relationship was a few months ago with a boy she considered too cheap—but not cheap in terms of currency, rather more in actions and words. He was too sleazy with his words, his actions resulted in wanting to touch her in the end, and Joohyun just completely lost feelings for him.

It was a good riddance, anyway.

“So…”

Joohyun snapped out of her trance and realized that they had come to a halt at the parking lot with bright lampposts acting as the only light source above them. They were still holding hands at the moment, not that Joohyun minded at all, but Seulgi appeared to have noticed and she sheepishly smiled before retracting her hand ever so gradually.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hold your hand for so long,” she said in a voice so soft and careful, as if she was afraid of offending Joohyun in the slightest way possible.

Joohyun shook her head. “No, it’s okay.”

“I, uh…”

Seulgi swayed a bit in her rooted position, her hands reaching up to her braid to twirl a forefinger around the end of it. It was fascinating how her gaze landed on anywhere but Joohyun, and she appeared to fidget a lot more than necessary, an action that the latter was not accustomed to. Since when did Seulgi start becoming like a nervous wreck now? But never mind that. It just gave Joohyun an opportunity to gush over how much more adorable Seulgi had become with the way she puffed up her cheeks while in deep thought of the words she was about to spew out.

“We didn’t stay for too long,” stated Seulgi. “So, I was… wondering if maybe you’d like to get something to drink nearby?”

Her stare was on an old car next to them when she finished, and she finally averted it back to Joohyun to look for a response.

Joohyun grinned and laughed a bit to herself.

            “I’d love to.”

**

She is the most adorable thing my eyes have ever laid on.

If you gave me the option to cuddle a stuffed teddy bear or her to sleep, then I wouldn’t even understand why you would give me those two choices when it is obvious which one of the two that I would choose.

I wanted to say it was love at first sight, I really do.

But it’s not.

I don’t even think love at first sight exists anymore, actually.

It’s more of—love at first meeting.

When she introduced herself to me, when she first smiled at me, when she first called my name.

I didn’t understand how she was so quick to make me feel the butterflies in my stomach, and I know she wasn’t doing it intentionally. Heck, she didn’t know she was feeling the same way then.

I just…

I just… feel so happy every time I see her…

When she first asked me to get a drink with her, did you guys know how nervous she was?

She was so cute… so endearing….

If there was one thing that I would be allowed to see every day for the rest of my life, it would be her smile.

Because I swear that smile was enough to make anyone fall in love with her—it was enough for me to fall in love with her.

**

It was a few months into the semester when Joohyun and Seulgi were closer than ever before.

They had been through a lot of study sessions lately, mostly in the university’s library, but now the location changed to Joohyun’s apartment since they seemed to get off track and stayed longer than usual at the library. Joohyun didn’t like the idea of driving home in the foggy night and she very much preferred Seulgi sleeping over at her place rather than knocking out at the library before waking up at an ideal time to head back to her dorm.

Midterms were right around the corner when Seulgi groaned and fell back against Joohyun’s bed.

Joohyun peered over from her desk and she smiled at the comical sight of a drained Seulgi with textbooks, notes, and worksheets sprawled all over the bed around her.

“Do you need help?” she asked, adjusting the glasses on her nose a bit before turning around on her chair to observe Seulgi tilting her head towards her.

Seulgi whined and rolled onto her side, knocking a few notes down onto the ground—not that she cared anyway, especially when she believed her brain was fried at the moment. She clutched onto the pillow she was resting on and closed her eyes.

“I want to sleep.”

Joohyun took off her glasses and rested it on top of the textbook she was reading earlier before rubbing her eyes. She made her way over to Seulgi, shuffled a few papers to the foot of the bed, and sat on the edge of it with her eyes fixed onto the exhausted first year. Seulgi gradually opened her eyes at the added weight on the bed and she pouted at Joohyun.

“Chemistry is just getting harder and harder,” she complained, earning a soft laughter.

Joohyun raised an eyebrow and brushed a few stray hair strands from Seulgi’s face without thinking. “Well, I said I’m here to help you whenever you need it, Seulgi.”

Seulgi didn’t respond right away, rather she merely glanced at the hand making her appear kempt before staring at the owner. Joohyun didn’t realize she was acting on impulse. She quickly retracted her hand back down onto her lap before grimacing and muttering a whispered apology.

Seulgi didn’t seem to mind, though. She remained in her position with her sharp eyes still casted onto Joohyun.

“I haven’t seen you without your glasses before,” she said.

“O-Oh. Yeah… I took them off earlier because they were bothering me a bit.”

Seulgi was still staring at her, like her eyes were attempting to memorize every feature of Joohyun’s face. Joohyun had never felt so small under Seulgi’s heavy gaze before, but she couldn’t ever break away the stare they were holding. She was drawn into her, the dark brown orbs pulling her in with not much of an effort to, but still enough to be able to put Joohyun into one of the many trances of her life.

“You look... more beautiful… without your glasses on,” divulged Seulgi.

Joohyun swore Seulgi’s face was turning as red as hers the second those words had been spewed out. When Seulgi rolled onto her other side out of embarrassment of the compliment she had just stated, Joohyun took the chance to touch her cheeks with the back of her hands, feeling how much the temperature of her body had risen by just a few words.

“Hey, you can’t just say that and not look at me anymore!”

Although still very much red and hot, Joohyun reached out to touch Seulgi’s shoulder and pull her onto her back.

“No, I’m too embarrassed!” Seulgi used her long sweater sleeves to hide her hands before covering her whole face.

“Why are you embarrassed?” Joohyun asked, and she meant for her next words to be a teasing remark. “Unless you have feelings for me?”

Seulgi quickly uncovered her face and she gasped at Joohyun. “N-No!”

It was not meant to be hurtful, it was not even meant to be answered, but with how hasty Seulgi’s reply was, Joohyun almost felt her heart fall to the pit of her stomach. She covered it up with a smile, though, because she didn’t think someone as adorable and innocent and girly as Seulgi was going to develop feelings for someone like her.

“Then quit acting so shy,” Joohyun muttered and she forced out an uncomfortable laughter. She retreated back to the chair behind her desk. “Go back to studying.”

Throughout the whole night until Seulgi ended up falling asleep on Joohyun’s bed, an exchange of stares never happened. Joohyun busied herself to the point where her head almost hurt from burying her nose into the textbook and Seulgi was shuffling papers every now and then while reading her own textbook (or at least that is what Joohyun saw from her peripheral). She contemplated of taking a break and editing her videos, but then realized that she had not been able to travel to places lately due to her time being consumed by chemistry and Seulgi all at once. It had been almost a month since her last video and she usually uploaded every other week, and it was unusual of her not to update on her viewers about her current situation and why she would not be able to upload within two weeks.

But she figured her viewers will understand her situation.

Her mind was often conflicted.

She couldn’t even think about talking to a camera for an hour or two at the moment, at least not with Seulgi constantly on her mind or buzzing her phone with texts almost every hour of the day.

**

I’ll be honest… she has hurt me before—with her words, at least.

I’ve come to realize that often times she doesn’t think twice before speaking, but when she does, her sentences become broken and end up not making any sense.

I didn’t know what I was thinking, though.

I didn’t think I had a right to feel hurt at the time, but maybe I do because it was when my feelings continue to grow for her.

I honestly thought that I’ve lost all chance then.

I mean, why would I—or why would she—like another girl?

But when she called me beautiful for the first time…

I felt like I was soaring on cloud nine.

I didn’t realize how much I wanted someone else—not a stranger, not my friends, not my family members—to compliment me on my looks but her.

I thought it felt genuine because unlike you guys, she saw me almost every day with a pair of glasses on my nose.

And despite the silence that ensued afterwards, despite how hurt I felt that day, despite how sort of awkward our next meeting was, I realized at that point and time that I fell in love with her.

I, Irene, a girl who grew up with the ideal traditions of finding the perfect male suitor, fell in love with a girl.

A beautiful,

adorable,

bright,

goofy,

endearing

girl.