Chapter 23

4 walls
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31st May 2015 (back to chapter 17)

Krystal found herself sitting at the corner of her company's cafeteria, waiting for her cup of hot chocolate to be served to her under this gloomy and cold day. She'd always hated rainy days because it just affected her mood negatively without a specific reason. During the day when it rained like this, she couldn't help but to let her mind wonder to the one who had her heart shattered a little more than two months ago. Ever since she walked out of his villa that day, she was better at not letting herself sink back to the vulnerable state that he left her at.

It was hard at first, she had to admit. The first two weeks were an absolute torture to her. She'd find herself with a smaller appetite, or even fine with skipping meals sometimes. She'd also started to be truly harsh on herself, finding every fault on herself and blamed herself for being imperfect that drove Top away to his numerous cheats behind her. She remembered when she completely broke down in front of her parents when they unintentionally asked her about Top during the dinner at their house. "Look at you, this is not the state that you should be at. You're getting so paper-thin, and there's no light coming from you anymore." She recalled what her father said while holding her in his embrace, "Just because others hurt you, it doesn't mean it grants an access for you to hurt yourself further. It hurts those who love you so much to see you not love yourself in return. So please my princess, love yourself more because your mum and I, your sister all love you unconditionally."

She was thankful for that piece of advice from her father that would forever be engraved in her mind, as that was what made her slowly found herself again and stopped harming herself in any other possible way. "Here you go," the waitress stood next to her and carefully placed her order in front of her.

"Thanks," she smiled back warmly and took a sip of her drink as her phone buzzed.

Victoria unnie: Soojungie where are you?

Krystal: At the cafeteria.

Victoria: Alright I'll be there soon, gotta get myself something to eat as well before the event. See you in 5 mins. I'm starving!

Her mild smile faded after reading her leader's response as her eyes fell on the archived conversation section. She was at her best of not clicking on it for the past few weeks as she knew what effects they would have on her. However today, she couldn't bring herself to click open it as her mind was occupied by the images of him. Although she had not responded to any messages that he sent her, she couldn't manage to delete all of them either. She scrolled through his text and was surprised by the amount that were actually present, claiming some of the texts he wrote was during his drunken state.

Top: Please call me back. I miss you.

Top: So I'm at this bar right now. I hate bars because that was where my stupidity drove me out of hand. But this is the only place

where i could numb myself. Can't you just accept my calls? Is it this hard for you to do so?

Top: So after being chased out by your sister almost 5 times now, I was told by the guard that I used to be friendly with that I'm

blacklisted to enter your apartment.

Top: I hate myself for what I've done to you.

Top: It's killing me. It's killing me so much right now. Why did I behave like an idiot and let my mind wander to something that

I shouldn't have? I miss your voice that is able to make me smile even when I'm not having a good day, I miss that voice

that tells me how much you love me, I miss the way you trace my scar on the eyebrow and how you're so

fascinated by the story behind it although it was nothing to be proud of as it involved me being in a gang fight at high school. I miss

how you pout just to get kisses from me or annoy me, I miss how you always snuggle to me because you say you love my scent,

I miss how clumsy you can get when you're in the kitchen preparing breakfast for me although most of the eggs you made

for me were burnt. I miss the way you look at me affectionately. I miss you, Soojung. I shouldn't have expected so much from you

when all you did was to keep something so precious for both of us for something that felt meaningful for us. I shouldn't have sugg

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Comments

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Soojungkrystl
#1
Chapter 30: update plsss
dadecer101 #2
Chapter 30: Damn I thought this story that I'm reading is already completed.. Now I am left out hanging again by the authors who wrote some fantastic stories
y0onda #3
Sad that this fanfic never update anymore :(
chemi03 #4
Chapter 30: Please.. Update..
reedus179 #5
Chapter 6: ...
reedus179 #6
Chapter 30: Im waiting for an update
y0onda #7
Author nim, are you okay? I've been waiting for this story. I hope you're okay there
Fmariel1984 #8
Chapter 30: ?❤️
michaeluuhhxoxo #9
Chapter 30: THANK YOU AUTHORNIM FOR THE UPDATE! BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR SO LONG. AND MOST OF ALL THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING THIS DESPITE EVERYTHING. MY TOPSTAL HEART HAVE BEEN REVIVED ?❤
humanafterall #10
Chapter 30: I've been waiting so impatienly or this update, it's so far my favorite Topstal story. Keep working hard, authornim <3