The bed is empty, Baekhyun thinks.

As always, Chanyeol would wake up two hours earlier to prepare himself for work, but if this was four years ago, his tall husband would never leave the bed without pressing a soft kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead first.

Now, four years later, Baekhyun finds himself pathetically roaming his hands around the cold, freezing sheets. The scent of fruity perfume is still lingering in their shared bedroom, strong stench plastered on his husband’s side of the bed. Baekhyun no longer sees, but the constant, strange shift of tension between them is enough to indicate that their marriage is dying.

And it scares him to know that he would do anything to save their pitiful, dying marriage.

A part of him contemplates on staying in bed or to head downstairs, where he could hear the faint sizzling of pans and oil. At least his husband has the common courtesy to cook breakfast before he leaves. Baekhyun groans lightly against his pillow, his arms stretching out awkwardly as he places his feet on the floor and breathes out.

Another day of uselessly walking around the house, another day of shattered glasses, another day of listening to his husband’s quiet but annoyed grunts every time Baekhyun tries to hold onto the latter’s shoulder for assistance.

One, two, three, four, five—trip. Baekhyun’s feet slides on the bathroom floor, his heart racing slightly when he struggles to hold onto the sink. Chanyeol must have not cleaned the floor properly after showering; leaving lathers and bubbles of soap on the floor like that. Baekhyun settles on bathing himself later – after he greets Chanyeol off to work, because he knows that Chanyeol would return home from his office by the time Baekhyun is fast asleep.

Six, seven, eight, nine; count your steps, think of the thoughts that would make you feel at ease.

When they first moved into their new house, Chanyeol’s grip on his hands never faltered as he lead him into new promises and memories. Staying in their old house brought them unwanted nostalgia of Baekhyun’s accident and his loss of sight. But now, as Baekhyun walks clumsily down the stairs, he figures that staying in their current house is equivalent to reminiscing their forgotten past.

Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen…

What are the things that can make you feel at ease?

A pair of stiff arms welcomes his fall and the tripping of his feet as Baekhyun misses a step on the staircase. His heart skips a beat once he hears the familiar chuckle. “Be careful.”

“Sorry…” Baekhyun lowers his head. “I was just counting my steps.”

“Is that still necessary? I mean, we’ve been living here for years…” Chanyeol allows him to stand properly, brushing the dust off Baekhyun’s shirt. “I think you might need some help.”

Baekhyun freezes. “What kind of help do you think I need?”

“Perhaps someone to assist you around the house or everywhere you go,” Chanyeol says like it meant nothing, “I’m not going to be by your side forever, you know. I have work.”

Squirming uncomfortably, Baekhyun tries to distract his husband with another question and a rumbling stomach. “Is breakfast ready?”

“…Yeah,” his husband says. “On the table. I got to go now. See you later.”

“You don’t want to eat together?” Baekhyun frowns as he reaches his hand out for Chanyeol to take and to lead him to the dining room.

All he receives is cold air.

The front door shuts close, and Baekhyun is left alone.

—

It’s a Sunday.

Chanyeol figures that his husband didn’t even try to at least make use of the calendar that he’d bought for him a few weeks ago. ‘Work’ has become a petty excuse to free himself from the suffocation of being in that very house. ‘Responsibility’ has become a reason for him to stay.

Ah, really.

Chanyeol doesn’t exactly know how to explain to his blind husband that he has fallen out of love.

There’s nothing left to say.

You don’t pay attention to me anymore. She does.

You don’t care for me anymore. She does.

You never listen. She always does.

It’s irritatingly frustrating. Ever since his loving husband lost his vision, everything has changed. Nothing was the same. Chanyeol doesn’t want to consider himself as a selfish man, but somehow… every single thing in their lives has revolved around Baekhyun, and it irks him.