Nostalgia

souvania // a mind dump

My high school is near the apartment complex I used to live. My aunt owned it and my parents rented Room Five. It was three flights up, and I was always tired climbing them. I was surrounded by family back then. The owner and her husband lived below us. Another aunt lived below them. Yet another aunt and her family owned and lived in the apartment complex right by us, and another one rented right next to them.

Needless to say, I was always with my three cousins. There were a pair of siblings (an older sister and younger brother) that never got along and another boy. Let’s call them Kate, Phil, and Gavin. We would build ice mountains when it snowed, and ride bikes and scooters in the cemented area between the buildings when the sun shone. We tossed footballs around, accidently throwing them onto the roofs. Sometimes we got lucky and the ball would roll off the slant. Other times, the footballs were never to be seen again. Basketballs were shot at hoops, and those would bounce to hit cars near by, setting off alarms that blared like no tomorrow. We even had a cooking competition once, though admittedly, no cooking was involved. The four of us split into teams of two. Kate and I stuffed some fruit into an ice cream cone. Phil and Gavin had the brilliant idea to dip ranch chips into actual ranch and barbecue chips into barbecue sauce.

Ha.

And then… I moved. Gavin’s family followed suit a few years later. Shortly after, the parents of the siblings, Kate and Phil, got divorced. Kate entered high school, I stepped foot into middle school, Gavin started hanging out with the popular kids, and Phil was left behind in elementary.

Communication dwindled, and then stopped completely.

I haven’t seen Kate and Phil in months. They never attend family gatherings anymore. I hear Gavin is constantly skipping classes. We say hi in the hallways, but that’s it.

Sometimes I walk to my old apartment after school. The apartment building I used to live in has been sold to some rich Vietnamese guy. A black family lives where I used to. Cigarette butts are scattered on the cement. Vines strangle the overgrown bushes and the cement is dirty and cracked. Weeds push through the gaps, bright greens against gray.

Everything looks aged and weary.

Each time I come back, a sigh escapes me.

My adolescence has come and gone, but as I leave to go back the way I came... the nostalgia is a lump in my throat.

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2am-ramen #1
Chapter 1: >< Man I get the feeling of nostalgia. Thinking back at how things used to be even a few years ago is a giant lump in my throat.
The things i used to do, the people I used to know... everyone's scattered now, and we'll continue to scatter I suppose.
This is the main reason I don't like sunsets. Sunsets make me nostalgic, and... while it's good time to time, i avoid it otherwise.

Souvania's a brilliant title btw :3

(wtf happened to you on hangouts q_q)