A week before Jihyo’s departure to New York.

I have never known that love could turn you into someone pathetic like this. It hurts. It hurts so much. Every time I remembered his figure, his face, his voice, it hurts. It hurts more that I knew that in the deepest heart of mine, I still want him. I still want him to come back to me. I still want him to be able to stand by my side but I can’t.

If they didn’t chase you from walking away, then keep walking.

I believed in that saying and he didn’t even chase me when I walked away. I knew I was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t have said that harsh words. It’s not fully his fault. I know my fault and I was so wrong but why seems like our ego was controlling us so much? I didn’t expect everything to end this fast with him. I didn’t expect it is so easy for him to give up on us. What hurts more was him, breaking all of his promises that he supposed to keep. Jongkook oppa. He might not be my first love but he’s the only man that I have the most serious relationship with. He’s the first man that I sincerely love with all my heart but yet he’s the one who break it to pieces as well.

“Jihyo noona!” A voice from behind called my name. It was not so clear since the voice from the rain outside covered it all. I was in a coffee shop, having a cup of Americano because I don’t want to keep staying in the penthouse, crying myself to sleep. At least going outside could freshen my mind a little bit.

“Kwangsoo ya!” I realized that it was Kwangsoo who called. He’s a fellow friend of Jongkook oppa who happen to be my junior in the campus. We met several times already inside or outside the campus.

“What are you doing here noona? It’s almost late.” He said and placed his vanilla latte on the table. He pulled the chair in front of me and sat on it.

“I just need a little entertainment.” I tried to joke but I know, it’s not funny. I’m such a bad joker.

“Ah. I see. I heard about you and Jongkook hyung already. I’m sorry to hear that noona.” He replied. . Why is he mentioning his name again. I’ve been trying my best to avoid him and cut every single contact with him but yet he reminded me of him again.

I sighed. “Things didn’t go well.” I replied easily, trying to look strong but I know, I’m not. I’m such a weak person that will cry over small thing, including crying over a guy and love.

“Is that so? It’s not easy for hyung either. He usually talks a lot but he just remained silent recently.” Kwangsoo said. Wait. Kim Jong Kook being silent? He must have been crazy.

“He’s the one who wants this separation. I can’t do anything either.” I replied firmly.

“Noona. Don’t let your ego control yourself.”

I sighed again. “It’s okay Kwangsoo ya. Maybe it’s our faith that we don’t mean to be each other.”

“Both of you still remain as friend right?” He asked. Well, Jongkook oppa didn’t say anything about remaining as friend.

“I don’t know besides I’m moving to the states next week.” I said finally.

“Where? The states?” He asked disbelieve.

I nodded. “Yeah. Manhattan, New York. I’m going to continue my studies there.”

“Noona. Please consider your decision again.” He begged.

I chuckled a bit. “I did consider so many times already, kwangsoo ya. I was thinking to not go because I’ll leave him here if I do but since there’s nothing going on between me and him, I guess I have no reason to stay here anymore and this chance doesn’t come often.” I explained.

“Wait. Next week? It’s his graduation noona.”

“I know. I’ll be stopping by and head to the airport right away.” I said because it’s the truth.

“Ah. I see then. I’m hoping for the best for both of you and good luck on your studies, noona.” He said. He might be an annoying person sometimes but he could be such a sweet dongsaeng as well.

“Gomawo Kwangsoo ya.” I said sincerely.

**

Jihyo has been looking at herself in front of the mirror more than 5 times to make sure if she’s ready or not. A big bucket of flower she ordered earlier has arrived. She ordered it for Jongkook as a sign of congratulations. The Sabrina dress seemed to fit her perfectly and sh