Engagement Rings and Forgiveness

Engagement Rings and Forgiveness

Staring at your phone, you wished for it to do something; vibrate, ring, light up, anything. Anything that would indicate that your boyfriend, Oh Sehun, had thought of you.

 

It had been a few days since the two of you spoke, something that surprised you, considering the fact that you lived together. But his days started before you got out of bed, and ended after you fell asleep.

 

You wouldn't mind getting up in the morning, if it meant that you could spend at least some time together, even if it were to just have a cup of coffee and give him a kiss on his way out the door. A bitter laugh came from your mouth as you flopped down on the couch in your living room. Your back rested against the arm of the chair, and your legs spread down towards the other end. The lights from the city caught your attention, but only made you even more disappointed. Somewhere in all that night-life chaos, something that Seoul was iconic for, was your boyfriend.

 

Somewhere in that city was the love of your life, and you wanted nothing else in the entire world but for him to be there beside you. His practice should have ended hours ago, and he was usually very good about informing you if he was to be home late; a system that had started sometime within the last three years you had been dating.

 

Now, though...now you didn't know what was happening.

 

Sehun didn't speak to you for longer than a few minutes. The number of nights he was choosing to sleep at the dorm rather than your apartment was increasing while the number of texts he sent you and the number of calls you received from him while he was out were both decreased.

 

Something was wrong about your relationship.

 

Deciding that you needed to finally speak to him, you picked up your phone and dialed his number, only to have it go straight to voicemail.

A robotic sounding voice greeted you. "Hello," it said. "The person you are trying to reach at this time is currently unavailable. You may leave a message after the beep."

 

You waited a moment, when the beep sounded, you didn't know what to say. It was a moment before you started recording, not totally sure of what you were going to say. Everything that came to mind seemed to aggressive or too needy.

 

"Uh...Jagi," you said. "You're practicing hard, aren't you? Call me when you get this then. I'll be awake. I love you."

 

Your words were spoken quickly, and as you hung up, you hoped that he would be able to understand you.

 

You decided to try a different number, the one that belonged to Yixing.

 

Of all the boys, your boyfriend excluded, you were closest with him. Often times, when you went to visit the dorms, the two of you would decided to joke around with the maknae, saying that if Sehun weren't in the picture, the two of you would probably be dating.

It wasn't true though; Yixing was just a really good friend, nothing more. He was always able to make you laugh, and he was always concerned about your wellbeing.

 

The line ringed twice before there was an answer. "(Y/N)? What's going on? Wait...let me get away from the boys, one second..." Yixing said, murmuring the last few words. The boys must have been playing around due to the noise in the back. The next thing you heard was a door close and his voice returned. "Alright, all good. So how are you?"

 

You bit your lip, contemplating whether or not asking to talk to Sehun. It seemed rude call one person then ask for another, but you really needed your boyfriend.

 

"I'm...I'm okay, I guess," you answered with a sigh, running your free hand through your hair. "Are you guys still practicing?"

You could tell that Yixing was confused due to the tone of his voice. "Practice? We didn't practice today. Our manager gave us the day off, we have been at the dorms."

 

Now you were confused as well. Sehun had clearly told you that the ten of them were practicing for an upcoming concert. "Oh...Then is Sehun there? I tried calling him but he didn't pick up."

 

The line went silent for a moment, and all the while you were biting your lip, already knowing the next words to come out of your friend's mouth. "No...He said he was spending the day with you. Is he not there? Do you want me to try calling him?"

 

He was lying to you then. To everyone. You contemplated saying yes, wanting to get this all over with, but decided against it.

 

"No," you breathed, closing your eyes. "No. It's fine, I'll try calling him again. If he shows up there, just tell him I miss him, okay?"

 

The call only lasted a few more seconds, giving each other some parting words, you wished you could actually listen to YIxing when he told you to have a good night.

 

You waited up for hours, every second dragging by so incredibly slow. You skipped dinner, made yourself a cup of tea but left it sitting on your coffee table, not feeling up to drinking it. It was surely cold by now.

 

Now, at 11:30 at night, the sound of the front door opening and closing rang out through the apartment. Your heart started racing. This meant one thing. Sehun was home.

 

Taking a deep breath, you get up to meet him at the door. His eyes look tired, and body heavy. It looked as if he had been out running around all day. When he heard your footsteps, he looked over to you, removing his gaze from the closet he was hanging his jacket in.

 

"Jagiya," he said, sounding surprised to have you in front of him. "Why are you awake? It's late."

 

Your arms were crossed over your chest and you felt your heart break a little. He was being too considerate for what you were planning on doing. "Yeah but I just...needed to talk to you."

 

Sehun yawned and nodded as he finished putting his belongings away. "Okay, well, whenever you want to start, I'm listening."

 

No matter how many times you tried to collect yourself, your heart was pounding against your chest, and you could hear the blood rushing through your veins. If you were going to do this, you had to be quick about it, while you still had the courage.

 

You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Look, Sehun, you've been gone a lot," you started, saying the lines you had rehearsed in your head since he had canceled you anniversary dinner to to having a late practice. It wasn't an isolated incident, though. He had canceled numerous outings with you, or just didn't show up. That and the fact that he was distancing himself from you raised some red flags. "A-and we are both independent people. I get that...I get that you're job, as an idol, is intensive, but I feel like we are just drifting apart."

 

The words hit him like a truck, and you could tell because of his widened eyes and his mouth, which had dropped open just the slightest bit.

 

"(Y/N), y-you aren't going to say what I think you are? Right? Because I can explain everything right now and I-"

 

You cut him off. "Look, I think that neither of us really want this to happen but I really don't think this can continue."

 

"You don't think what can continue? Me loving you?" He said, beginning to sound defensive.

 

The last thing you wanted to do was spell it out for him, but if he wanted to play dumb, then you were going to. "You don't love me, Sehun," you replied in a bitter tone. "People don't cheat on the ones they love."

 

That was something he wasn't expecting. The accusation tore through him. It hurt; it hurt to know that you didn't trust him enough not to cheat on you, and it hurt that you thought he didn't love you. "Cheating on you? I never once cheated on you!" Sehun exclaimed, voice becoming louder. He thought that the whole ordeal was stupid.

 

"Then where have you been?" you inquired, also raising your voice. "You've been coming home late. You've been ignoring my calls, ignoring my texts, canceling dates, staying at the dorm...The list goes on, Sehun! And everything on that list points to cheating!"

 

"I'm not cheating on you, (Y/N)!" He yelled, clenching his fists at his sides.

 

"Then where have you been?!" You followed his lead, your eyes flickered with rage.

 

"I've been looking at engagement rings, damn it!"

 

And you stopped, you both did. Sehun's chest was rising and falling with every rough breath he took in and let out. He ran a hand through his hair and turned around, taking a second to regain his composure. You, on the other hand, were a mess.

 

"E-engagement rings?" You stuttered, voice now sounding timid.

 

"Taking one last deep breath, Sehun confirmed  what he had just said. "Yes, engagement rings. I looked everywhere. Before that I went to go see your family, I told the boys to stay quiet about it."

 

"So...You aren't cheating on me?" Your voice was shaky and you were close to tears.

 

"I would never cheat on you. I love you so much, (Y/N). You're the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. I want nothing more than to have you beside me at all times. And I know...I know this is so cliche," Sehun said, giving a light laugh. "But it's true. I'm sorry if I've been distant. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I just want you to be happy."

 

You weren't thinking when you ran into his arms, wrapping your own around his torso. He tangled one hand in your hair, pressing your face to his chest as the tears fell from your eyes, letting you get out all your frustrations; both at yourself and him.

 

"I never meant to hurt you," he murmured. "Forgive me?"

 

"I'll always forgive you," you managed to get out in between ragged breaths. "I'll always forgive you."

 

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