Something felt off for a reason.

Jaebum should have trusted his intuition more than his best friend. He should have known better that Jinyoung was shading his problems with anger snaps and another million excuses to push everyone away.

It hurt though, it pinched his heart painfully the fact Jinyoung simply wouldn't let him in, wouldn't trust him enough...he wasn't enough, and he had no time for self-pity.

His legs slightly trembled as his feet made a rhythm with tapping against the floor, his slender fingers matched the nervous beat against his thighs. Deep breathing wasn't working, but he tried to swallow the fear for his pained friend.

Cause Jinyoung promised him, a lifetime promise he would never break.

Jaebum bit his lips as he watched his friend slipping into an endless loop of nightmares, barely unconscious for hours and all he could do was hold him when he shook or cry along the poor guy's loud cries without a way to throw the merciless pain away.

Again, he was useless.

Jaebum winced when Jinyoung whimpered again, heavy suffocating breaths filled the silent room as if they were back to his state years ago. He reached for his friend's hand to hold it tightly.

A loud gasp left the suffering boy's mouth, his back losing contact with the mattress as his crimson eyes opened wide for the first time since the begging game of the night.

"Breathe with me, Jinyoung... breathe."

A breath after breath till the count of seventeen, the panic dissipated, heartbeats slowing down, chest no longer heaving.

"You are safe, Jinyoung-ah... It's okay,"

"You were here for real," His friend whispered, giving his hand a tight squeeze.

Jaebum couldn't help, but give him a sad smile, leaving his and to pour a glass of water to the latter.

"How did I get here, Is Mark here?"

"Is that what matters now?" He didn't mean to snap. With his tired eyes closed, he tried to recollect himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. Jisoo called me when you collapsed, and I asked Mark to swap rooms, so no he witnessed nothing."

He ignored Jiyoung's frown and focused on drying the boy's sweat with a mist towel on his hand. The silence crippled between them again with Jinyoung studying his face like it was the first time he saw the pal while he avoided the confused eyes.

"Okay... I expected at least a knock on the head or a punch, not a quiet you." The light teasing tone of Jinyoung's voice tested his patience. "What's wrong, Jaebum?"

"Nothing, Let's focus on your well-being."

"This isn't my Jaebumie, don't lie to me,"

"I don't feel like talking about it, so let it slide,"

"No, I want to hear what you have in mind."

"You won't like it, and this isn't the right time."

"Damn it! Let it it out!" Jinyoung's voice became louder as Jaebum let out a tired sigh, his back meeting the chair's back.

"You care about keeping this hidden more than taking care of yourself."

"They don't matter to me that much to know." Jinyoung's defense said, crossing his arms.

"Jisoo and Mark?"

"All of what's a so-called group of friends will leave sooner or later. You know that and I don't want their pity."

Jaebum scoffed in disbelief. "Is that why you don't tell me about this too?"

"About what? You know this."

"Don't act clueless. What happened the entire night was more intense than before and has a reason behind it."

"Why are you making a fuss about it? It's the usual,"

Jaebum scoffed at Jinyoung's shrug as if they had known each other two days ago. "I'm not blind. I don't get it, why are you hiding this from me?"

"Because it is my problem! Because I don't want to be the one triggering your episodes for god's sake, why are you making a big deal