I can’t help but feel a hole in my chest as I walk with weak knees, yet no matter how dejected I feel, I know I’m actually more furious than sad. The frustration brings newfound tears in my eyes and I have a million questions shooting in my head, I have a thousand why’s but the only person who can answer them is no longer in sight and has, in fact, left me. Why?

The rain still won’t wash away the feel of his lips on mine or the warmth of his body when he held me close. I want it all gone. I don’t want to feel it anymore. I put a hand over my chest, please stop racing. I no longer want the fuzz in my stomach, the butterflies; I no longer want my lungs constricted or the chills. I don’t want them anymore. I should not have them anymore. Not after what happened. Not after he kissed me and then walked out. It’s wrong. It all is. It’s written all over his face.

“Haerin!” Someone calls and when I look up, I see Mr. Kai running towards me. He stops for a moment and gives me a look from head to toe. I saw him mutter something before running towards me once again. He stops across me, “Are you okay?!” He exclaims loudly, battling with the noise of the rain.

I give him a look and plaster a small smile on my face, “What are you doing here Mr. Kai?”

“Sehun called,” His answer makes me bow my head and secretly thank the rain for not making my tears visible through my face. Suddenly, warm arms envelop me in a hug. Like on cue my tears come rolling down my cheeks as he holds me in attempt to keep me together even though I know I’m shattered more than ever. I hear Mr. Kai asking me to stop crying and I’m a bit surprised he knows I’m in tears despite not completely seeing my face, “Let’s get you back to the hotel, come on,” And he doesn’t let go of me.

I find myself sitting down on Mr. Kai’s bed, in Mr. Kai’s clothes, already dry, but still dejected. Mr. Kai walks out of the bathroom with extra towels in his hands. He doesn’t hesitate to put one over my shoulders and sink on the space across me. He pulls the food cart closer and takes the mug of hot chocolate and hands it to me.

“Careful. It’s hot.” He says, still holding the mug and making sure I get my hands around it first before he lets go. I smile down and mutter my thanks before take a sip, “I ordered you food. It should be here in a few,”

“Thanks, Mr. Kai but there’s really no need for that. I’ve already eaten dinner,”

It’s silent between us for a moment until I hear him let out a breath, “Well, I know you’re tired. Do you want me to you to your room or do you want to stay here instead?” I shoot my head up and mull over his question. Do I want to go back to that room? Of course not. Do I want to stay here instead? Not that I have much of a choice.

“I could go and get you a separate room if staying here with me would bother you,” He tells me and I shake my head. Mr. Kai gives me a small smile and puts a hand over mine. I look down on our hands together and when I look back at him he’s smiling warm enough to drain the coldness I’m feeling, “Whatever happened back there, I’m pretty sure he’s got a reason. I know Sehun.”

Hearing his name brings a frown on my face and Mr. Kai squeezes my hand. I let out a breath and look at him, “I’m sorry he called you to pick me up,” I say in attempt to change the subject, “I was gonna find a cab and-”

“He didn’t.” He answers and I give him a look. Mr. Kai just smiles at me, “He didn’t call me to pick you up,”

“But you said-”

“Sehun called and told me where you were,” He says and my eyes are fixated, shocked, on him, “I guess my instincts just told me you needed some saving. A cape wouldn’t look so bad on me, right?”

Tell me when you can’t, I’ll try to wear a cape. Every girl needs a hero, don’t they? Something tells me you need a bit of protecting. Sehun’s voice echoes in my head and I can hear my heart break follow after. Were they just empty words and nothing more? Didn’t he mean them? What were they all this time? What? Was he just nice because he didn’t want to lose his intern anymore? And all of a sudden he realized he’s being too nice, he’s being too friendly and now he wants out? He wants out of whatever we were? We. Woah. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Haerin. Clearly there was no such thing as ‘we’. All there is are Kim Haerin and Mr. Oh; the intern and her boss. Who was I to think that this fuzz in my stomach could have been because of mutual feelings? Who was I to think he looked at me longer than five seconds like he was afraid to miss my face in front of that building that day? Who was I to think he liked holding my hand and bragging around with his actions that he’s proud to have me? How did I get so much air in my head to think of such things? Well now the rain has washed away those delusions and it’s finally clear to me that the only thing that’s real in this situation is that he’s my boss and I’m his intern.

“I hope I can see the Kim Haerin I found outside our building the day after she was hired,” Mr. Kai chuckles.

“The airhead who thought she could handle it all when she can’t actually handle anything?”

“Is she?” Mr. Kai puts on a thinking face though I know he’s kidding, “Well, I’ll take her any day in exchange for the sad one right now,”

“Sorry. Just tired,” I smile sheepishly at him.

“You should sleep,” He tells me and takes the mug from me. Mr. Kai settles the mug on the cart and helps me to bed, tucking me in like a three-year-old and I laugh at him for doing so, “Sorry. It’s sort of becomes a habit when you have two emotional sisters growing up,” My heart melts at his statement.

“Thank you, Mr. Kai,”

“And for the record, the Kim Haerin I knew was adorable and nothing near an airhead,” He smiles at me and taps my nose using his index finger, “Sweet dreams, Ms. Kim,”

And I ask myself, why can’t my heart race for Mr. Kai instead? Why can’t I get the fuzz in my stomach when I’m around him instead? Why can’t I fill my head with thoughts of him instead? My heart’s too stupid to function properly, I guess.

I’m sorry and he walks out. Just like that he leaves me hanging after an apology for his act. Sorry for