Chapter 14
Love is so Bad
Hyejin’s POV
It’s been two months since the incident. It’s been two months since we lost our baby. Nothing has been the same anymore. The media and fans found out about the news and felt bad for us. The fans have been trying to cheer us all up. I’m thankful for them for caring so much about us. Donghae’s been cold and distant to me. He doesn’t talk to me as much anymore. He’s barely home. When we’re around people, he acts all loving but when it’s just the two of us he’s cold. His eyes aren’t loving and warm as they use to be. They’re now cold and it seems like he’s disgusted with me. The first month I let it slide because I guess he needed time to get over the accident. But now, it’s still the same. He’s not changing at all. He’s been going out a lot and coming home really late. I wonder where he goes.
I try my best to be happy when I’m around others but I feel hurt inside. Everything’s different now and I want them to go back to the way it was. I know Donghae’s mad at me but does he have to be this cold? I didn’t tell anyone about this because it would just cause problems. This is only between the two of us. I was lying in my bed by myself while Donghae was in the living room watching TV. He’s actually home for once. I got up of bed and walked towards to door to ask if he wanted to go to bed with me.
“Babe?” I asked him. I got no response from him. His eyes were still glued to the TV. “Do you want to go in and sleep with me?” Still no response. I sighed and walked into our bedroom again. I was about to close the door when I heard his phone ringing.
“Sunye? No I’m not busy today. Sure. Want to meet up at our usual place? Okay I’ll see you in a bit.” I heard his footsteps walking towards our bedroom so I ran into our bed and closed my eyes. He got ready and left.
So he’s been hanging out with Sunye these past two months? He’s been with her every night. I felt tears running down my face… I couldn’t take it anymore. These two months I’ve been suffering by myself while he’s out with another woman. Is he seeing her now? Does he love her now? Is that why he’s so cold to me now? I finally broke down… these past two months I’ve been trying to be strong for the both of us. Donghae, why are you being like this? Why do you look at me with so much disgust now? Am I that repulsive to you? I cried myself to sleep that night.
Donghae’s POV
It’s been two months since the accident. Nothing has been the same anymore. I don’t even want to look at Hyejin anymore. Whenever I look at her, I feel disgusted. I’ve been cold and distant towards her because I don’t want to see her at all. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I just don’t want to see her. I’ve been hanging out with Sunye every night ever since the accident. I told her everything and she’s very understanding about it. I hang out with her much more than I hang out with my own wife now. Nobody knows that we’re facing this problem right now because we put up a front. If Hyukjae found out I was treating his sister like this then he’ll kill me. Same goes for Kyuhyun.
I could tell that Hyejin was being patient with me. She probably believes that I need some time to get over the accident and things will be the same again. I’m sorry Hyejin… but that’s not going to happen. Things won’t be the same anymore. She tries to talk to me every day but I just blow her off. I don’t even sleep in the same room with her anymore. I always stay out late or sometimes I don’t even come home at all. Every night’s the same: she tries talking to me, I ignore her, and I go out with Sunye. She probably knows by now that I’ve been meeting up with Sunye. I’m not cheating on Hyejin though. I can never do that to her. Sunye and I are just friends. Nothing more.
I was driving to our usual spot which is Han River. I don’t know why but every time I go out there, I feel free.
“Oppa! You’re finally here” I heard Sunye telling me.
“Sorry. There was traffic. Did you wait long?”
“Ani. I got here like five minutes ago.” Sunye walked up to me with a smile. “So how are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. She tried talking to me again but I just blew her off.”
“I see. Oppa, do you still love her?”
“I don’t know anymore.” Do I still love her? It’s Hyejin… my first love. I always thought that she will be my last love too. At this point, I don’t even know if I love her anymore.
“Oppa, it’s not fair for unnie. If you’re questioning if you love unnie or not, I think you should let unnie go. You’re just leading her on.”
Sunye’s POV
When I asked oppa if he still loved Hyejin unnie, he hesitated and told me that he doesn’t know. I think it’s time to tell him that he should let unnie go. I know it’s wrong for me to say this but maybe it’s my turn now. Maybe God is finally answering my prayers.
“Do you really think I should?”
“De. You’ll just end up hurting her even more oppa.” I heard him sigh.
“I’ll think about it. Thanks Sunye. Thanks for always being here for me. It means a lot to me.”
Anything for you oppa. I hope you break it off with unnie. I hope you start realizing your feelings for me.
Hyejin’s POV
I heard my phone ringing and picked it up.
“Unnie? There’s a schedule today. Get ready and we’re leaving in thirty minutes.”
“Okay. I’ll see you guys soon.”
I got up of bed and had a really bad headache and a really sharp pain in my heart. Why are you being like this heart? Why are you aching so much? I then remember last night when I found out Donghae’s been hanging out with Sunye. That’s why you’re hurting heart. Because of Donghae and Sunye. I wonder if he’s home. I shouldn’t care anymore since he seems to not care about me anymore. I got ready and got all my things together. I walked into the living room and saw Donghae sleeping on the couch. He didn’t have any blanket on so I put one over him. Are you with her now, Donghae?
I walked towards the members dorm and heard someone calling my name. I looked over and saw Kyuhyun calling me.
“Hyejinnie! Where are you going?”
“I have a schedule with the members.” I gave me a fake smile. I’m glad he didn’t pick it up.
“Where’s hyung?”
“He’s still sleeping.”
“Still? This late?”
“De.”
“How are things with you guys?”
“They’re great. He’s been taking care of me.” I smiled weakly at Kyuhyun. If only you knew Kyuhyun ah. “I have to go now or else we’ll be late.”
The girls and I arrived at a studio. Our schedule for today was a photo shoot with another girl idol group. I wonder who? We walked in and saw the Wonder Girls getting their make up done. Great. Just my luck.
“Unnie. How are you?” Sunye asked me trying to sound as if she’s worried about me.
“I’m good.” I told her coldly.
“That’s good to hear. I hope we have a great day together.”
“De. I have to go now.” Minji and Kim noticed my behavior towards her.
“Unnie, what’s wrong? Why were you acting like that towards her?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just tired.”
“Hyejin ah, did something happen between the two of you?” Kim asked.
“I said it’s nothing. Let’s just go get ready.” I told them coldly.
I was the first to be finished so I entered the bathroom. I was sitting in the stall because I wanted to get away from everything. I can’t stand it anymore. Why out of all people do I have to work with Sunye. Sigh. I heard voices coming in the bathroom.
“So he told you that?” I heard someone asking. It sounded like Hyelim. Then who is she talking to?
“De. Donghae oppa said he doesn’t even know if he loves her anymore.” I felt my heart break at what I just heard. “When he told me, it seems like he doesn’t love her anymore so I told him that he should let her go.”
“What’d he say?”
“He’d say he’ll think about. I think he’s going to let her go. You should’ve seen his face. Whenever he talks about her, he looks disgusted. I hope he realizes his feelings for me. I think this is my chance to be with him.”
So you don’t love me anymore Donghae? Is this why you treat me like this? Am I really that disgusting to you? I wanted to cry but it’ll ruin my make up for the photo shoot. I just listened to the rest of the conversation and once they were done, they left. Why am I even trying to hold on to this relationship when you don’t even love me anymore? You promised me that you’ll always love me. You’re a liar. You said you would never hurt me. You’re a liar once again. You said you wouldn’t cheat on me. Liar. If that’s how you feel about me now, then I accept it then. I’ll let you go Lee Donghae.
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