13. Breaks

Heaven in You
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“Her parents suddenly came home and I had to hide myself in her closet for almost an hour, stark !”


One of the guys says expressively, gesturing wildly with his hands and making the group laugh at the action.


Chanyeol laughs so hard he hits the table a few times and Kris just snorts at the ridiculous story, his hands placed inside his pockets, sitting with his legs wide apart. Myungsoo is telling the guys about what happened last night when he’s trying to have a good time with his girlfriend and her parents came home earlier than they expected. That's why Kris always prefers to do it in some hotels, he doesn't want to get in trouble with anyone who's living in his sleeping partner's home, and his own home is totally off limit for , he doesn't want to dirty his uncle's apartment with random .


Kris’ laugh comes into a halt though when he catches a familiar figure from the corner of his eye.


Tao is walking around the cafeteria with a tray of food on his hands, talking to Jongin, the popular freshman. His eyes dart to the other guy who is walking next to Tao and he unconsciously grits his teeth, because he has seen that guy around Tao, a lot, a little bit too much if Kris may say.


Kris squints his eyes as Tao says something to Sehun and the younger rolls his eyes in response, making Tao frowns and turns his head in a pout. The scene causes Kris to scowl inwardly because he has never seen Tao make that kind of face, not in front of him. The blonde always looks so nervous, so timid around him as if Kris is going to swallow him alive. But with Sehun, Tao can laugh and acts naturally, something he has never done in front of Kris.


Though he saw Tao got angry once, when he accidentally raised his voice against Sophia. For a moment, Kris found himself ridiculously captivated in those eyes, glaring at him with a spark of fire inside those dark orbs. He was taken aback for a moment, but quickly regained himself and they started to argue, leading them to more troubles that day.


Kris remembers how he was about to run over to a security guard and asked for Sophia when he heard people screaming and a particular scream for a girl, he recognized it as Sophia's voice and his blood immediately ran cold once he noticed that it’s screaming Tao’s name. He quickly ran over to the stairs and he thought his heart stopped when he saw the sight below.


Tao was lying lifelessly at the bottom of the stairs.


Sophia was kneeling next to him, tears were pouring down her face as she called out for the male, clutching onto his shirt tightly as she cried. People started to gather around them and Kris only needed less than 5 seconds to get down. His heart was beating so fast but his body felt so cold when he saw Tao’s face, eyes closed, not giving any sign of living.


Kris was panting hard, his hands were shaking as he touched the male, shaking some life into him but Tao didn’t give any response. Tao. Wake up. Open your eyes. He chanted inside his head, not sure if he didn’t actually say it out loud, what he cared the most was the unconscious boy in front of him.


His heart was beating so painfully fast and he quickly slipped his hands under the boy, carrying him up in his arms. Kris was ready to run all the way to the hospital with Tao in his arms until an old lady walked over and calmed him down, saying that someone had called an ambulance.


Sophia followed him to the hospital until her parents picked her up, she refused to leave until the nurse calmed her down and told her that Tao is going to be okay. She told her parents that she’s not going to sleep until Tao woke up, and neither would Kris. She ended up going home with her parents later on and made Kris promise that he’s going to call her when Tao woke up.


The doctor said Tao hit his head pretty bad that caused him to lose consciousness, and even though he told him that there’s nothing to be worried about, Kris was still worried to death. His hand squeezed the younger’s hand gently, his thumb rubbing in circles as if it’s going to make Tao open his eyes.


It was stupid, the argument was stupid, and he ended up hurting both Sophia and Tao. Kris stared at the unconscious male on the bed, thinking how he wouldn’t forgive himself if something happened to Tao. There’s a feeling of guilt and another feeling he couldn’t name, choking him from the inside and he closed his eyes, praying that Tao would be fine.


Kris stayed there for hours until he felt the other’s hand twitched inside his hold. He jerked his head and saw Tao slowly opening his eyes, squinting at the ceiling and the choking feeling inside him disappeared along as he sighed in relief. He had to hold the urge to pray right on the spot when the doctor said that Tao was totally fine and able to go home already.


He ended up holding the boy’s hand all the way through his car. Their hands just fit so nicely on each other and Kris enjoyed the warmth that was spreading on his hand. If he could, he wanted to hold that hand for the whole night, but sadly he had to drive the car.


Then he finally asked the question that had been hanging in his head. Why?


Tao answered but it only created a new why inside his head at each answer. Kris didn’t like the way Tao suddenly glanced away from him and he unconsciously leaned closer to the male, he barely realized that he’s being extremely close until he told Tao to look at him, and Tao did.


He froze upon realizing how close their faces were, yet he couldn’t find something inside his head that convinced him to pull away, he was lost in Tao’s beautiful black orbs.


Then he felt a pair of lips pressing against his own, softly, gently, timidly.


Something must have snapped inside his head when Tao pulled away because he found himself lunged over to the boy, crashing their lips together for another kiss, harder, deeper, hungrier. He wanted to taste Tao, to feel everything, and the way the younger whimpered against the kiss felt like an encouragement for Kris.


An odd feeling of lust clouded his mind as he started kissing the male down to his neck, hungrily on it, and he was about to do more, so much more, until Tao’s loud voice cut through his head, pouring a cold water of realization upon him.


Kris contemplated what he just did, even after 30 minutes since Tao left his car.


He can’t even remember if he had ever initiated a kiss. He dislikes the idea of kissing, perhaps it’s because he saw his mother kissing a man in the middle of the night, and his mother ended up abandoning him for that man. He kisses back his sleeping partners sometimes, but it won’t last for more than 3 seconds since he doesn’t find it enjoyable. He even finds it a bit disgusting at some point. Yet he’s sure that the kiss he had with Tao that night actually lasted more than a minute.


He can’t understand himself anymore, his body and his head seem to have a life of their own. He often finds himself thinking about the blonde male before shaking his head in order to shake the thought away. There’s something strange happening inside him and he blames Tao for it.


Kris glances over to Tao again. His eyes trail down to the turtleneck shirt Tao is wearing, knowing that there must be a deep purple mark underneath the collar, the mark that he left that night in the car. His eyes darken as he imagines himself pulling down the collar to expose the mark, pressing his finger on it and watches as Tao writhes in response.


Kris’ mind snaps to reality when Tao turns his head around and accidentally meets Kris’ eyes. Instead of greeting, Tao turns his head away bashfully and even though there’s a red hue visible on his cheeks, Kris doesn’t like the fact that Tao turns away from him, and hates it even more when Tao suddenly smiles when he’s speaking to Sehun.


Kris fists his hands inside his pocket, so hard that his knuckles turn white.




“So, you guys are going to the club this weekend?”


Tao is looking through his death list when he perks up at Baekhyun’s voice. The older male is slouching on the couch lazily, tapping his finger against his phone’s screen.


“You’re going?” Sehun asks, stirring his bubble tea with the straw before drinking it to the last drops. Since when does Sehun like something sweet like bubble tea?


Kyungsoo just blinks at the three guys, waiting for their responses since he always prefers to follow instead of initiating.


They’re having a small dinner at Baekhyun’s apartment since the older man says that he has learned how to cook some new dishes and ask them to be the testers. Baekhyun has a rather eccentric taste in food and Tao prays that he won’t make something like cooked banana in a soup, something that Baekhyun made a couple of years ago.


Fortunately, Baekhyun ended up making normal dishes like stew and baked potato. Take note that Kyungsoo did almost half of the cooking.


“Well, I’m going, I haven’t stepped into the club for weeks. I’ve been busy with a lot of things—!” Baekhyun groans when his flappy bird game pops a big game over font before placing his phone down against the coffee table in front of him. “Oh right, the dishes.” He says to himself, standing up from his couches and turns to the kitchen. “Sehun, help me to wash the dishes!” He orders before making his way to the kitchen, Sehun rolls his eyes and sighs but follows him without any complaints.


Tao finishes looking through his death list for tomorrow, a habit Sehun taught him after he misread the list some time ago. By looking through his death list a day earlier, he can prevent making the same mistake, or so Sehun said. Tao sighs as he puts the papers back into the folder and looks up to see Kyungsoo moving closer to him, kneeling down next to him and speaks so quietly.


“How is it going between you and Kris?” The question catches Tao off guard and he almost drops the paper, staring at the older male and is a bit taken aback by the expression on the elder’s face. Kyungsoo is staring at him so cautiously, anticipating an answer.


“We’re… we’re just fine.” Tao gulps dryly, as much caring as Kyungsoo is, he never finds the latter actually prying on someone’s matter like this. “What’s wrong?” He asks carefully and Kyungsoo just smiles before shaking his head lightly.


“Nothing, I’m just—“ his words trail off as he looks up to the kitchen as if to make sure that Baekhyun and Sehun are not eavesdropping their conversation, “wondering.” Kyungsoo adds before standing up and walks over to the kitchen, helping them with the dishes.


Tao stays on the floor, watching as Kyungsoo smiles at Baekhyun and picks up a dirty plate.


Kyungsoo is acting weird just now and Tao can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong because he swears that there’s a glint of hesitation inside Kyungsoo's eyes when he asks about his relationship with Kris. Why is Kyungsoo feeling hesitant? Did he accidentally tell someone that he’s in love with Kris? No way, Kyungsoo can keep secrets and he knows that.


But Kyungsoo is being awfully suspicious, as if he’s hiding something important.


Tao shakes his head rapidly at the thought. Maybe he’s just thinking too much, maybe Kyungsoo is just simply curious, maybe—


“Tao! Come here and help us if you’re finished with your list!”


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28/02/21 - you guys literally sent my first fic to the fEATURED SECTION ??? I'm kinda embarrassed cause its so old and cringy but thank u so much (T⌓T) 💕
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