tension
road to everywhere
[title song: sun saathiya // save me - bts]
[10k; will edit tomorrow morning]
four.
Jessica wakes up in an unfamiliar bed, and for a moment, she panics, her head still cloudy with sleep. She sits up, too fast, and her legs are tangled in blankets.
Then she takes in her surroundings, the white curtains drawn tight and the familiar furniture, the photographs of all the Exo boys pinned to the bulletin board right above the wooden desk, the beanbag chair in the corner, and she slowly begins to relax. She’s in Sehun’s room.
Slowly, she digs herself out from under the covers and uses the bathroom across the hall, where she’s left an extra toothbrush a long, long time ago, washing her face without really looking at herself in the mirror, not wanting to see her hair a mess or the fact that’s she’s still wearing sweats from last night. She’s always surprised when she sees her toothbrush still sitting next to theirs. She expects them to get rid of it, like they had with her other things, but they never do.
She pads towards the kitchen, yawning as she walks down the hall. She’s not even at the kitchen when her eyes widen at the sight she can see up ahead, where Sehun is sitting at one of the stools next to the kitchen island, cutting up vegetables on a cutting board, while Jongin stirs food at the stove, music playing softly from somewhere in the kitchen. From this angle, she can see Jongin smiling as he murmurs something indecipherable over the music, feet sockless as usual, a softness to his expression, his entire demeanor, that she hasn’t seen in a while. Sehun rolls his eyes dramatically at Jongin’s words, chucking a piece of red pepper at the back of Jongin’s head.
It’s so utterly normal and domestic that it makes Jessica pause in her steps, just beyond the threshold of the kitchen. For a brief moment, she wonders if she should turn around.
But she doesn’t get the chance to do so, not when Sehun glances sideways and gives her a big smile that has Jongin looking up, too. It’d be rude to just turn and leave so Jessica walks into the kitchen, taking a seat next to Sehun when he pats the stool next to him. She watches as Jongin picks up the vegetables Sehun had cut, throwing a piece of red pepper at Sehun’s nose while he’s at it, eyes twinkling, before he puts it into the pan. The food smells delicious and she’s glad Jongin is cooking this time, because last time Sehun cooked, he made some strange honey-ramen thing that Jessica gave up on one bite in. Jongin had ate the whole thing but Jessica could tell he was just doing it to be nice, which is ridiculous to her because Jongin isn’t the type to spare anyone’s feelings, or at least that’s what she’s always believed.
“You fell asleep out on the field, so I brought you back here.” Sehun explains, without being prompted to.
“You could have woken me up.” Jessica tells him, yawning again.
Sehun makes a face, “And risk the monster that comes out whenever anyone wakes you up.”
Jessica reddens, copying Sehun’s grimace, and Sehun laughs, Jongin chuckling from the stove, even as he pulls out three plates and separates the breakfast. “I’m not that bad.”
Jongin slides the first plate to Sehun before he turns to her with the second plate. He raises his brows and gives her a look, “Trust me, you are.” Jongin says, blandly.
Jessica glares, unable to respond, and Jongin just laughs, the sound loud and sudden and genuinely fond. He ruffles her hair, which only makes her glare deepen, trying in vain to fix her hair, before he turns off the stove and takes the stool beside her.
Soft music drifts out from the portable speakers on the kitchen counter, next to the refrigerator, and Jessica contents herself with eating and quietly listening to Sehun and Jongin talk, arguing playfully while she smiles at her vegetables like a dork.
But then, after a rather heated conversation about the best cheesecake flavors, Jongin gets up to put his plate away. He pauses, halfway up out of his seat, and Jessica blinks when she feels him touching her hair. She looks up at him, fork practically hanging out of , eyes wide, and watches as Jongin pulls at a strand of her hair. “You have grass in your hair.” He says, frowning as he puts down his empty plate so he can use two hands. It takes him a good minute of messing with her hair, touch feathery, until he’s satisfied and then he tucks some stray strands of her hair behind her ear, patting her head gently, before he picks up his plate again and walks to the sink.
“Oh.” Jessica says, blinking rapidly. She looks at Sehun, who isn’t even paying attention, fiddling with his chopsticks.
“I think I got it all.” He returns to the kitchen island, leaning against it instead of sitting down. He looks down at her with twinkling, dark eyes and a rare, genuine smile, watching as she pats at her head, a little dazed, “Don’t worry.” He adds, his fingers lightly brushing along her cheek in gentle sort of way, like he’s not really realizing that he’s touching her. The back of his knuckles brushes along her warm cheek and she feels even warmer than earlier. She smiles, slightly, and he pats her cheek before leaning his elbow on the table, looking past her, at Sehun. He’s leaning close enough that his chest is inches away from her arm and she can feel the warm heat of his body if she really thinks about it. She tries not to think about it. “Are you done yet, Sehun? We’ve got a meeting today.”
“Am I supposed to be there?” Jessica asks, looking up between the two of them, Jongin’s face hovering close enough to surprise her. He stares intently at her when she speaks, the way he does with pretty much everyone, but it still makes her feel a tiny bit warm. But she ignores the feeling, focusing on Sehun.
(Because he does that with everyone.)
Sehun shakes his head, chewing on his last bite in a purposely slow way, probably just to antagonize Jongin, who wrinkles his nose at Sehun. “Nah, it’s not a group meeting.” Sehun tells her.
“Oh, okay. That’s good. I don’t want to sit through another boring meeting.” Jessica nods. Sehun grins at her wrinkled nose. Jongin reaches over her and picks Sehun’s plate out from under him, glaring slightly as he puts it in the sink, running water over it.
“We’re going to be late.” Jongin reminds Sehun, when Sehun glares at the plate being taken away.
Sehun makes a face, “Since when did you care about being late. You’re the one who’s always late in the first place.”
Jongin gives Sehun that look, the one he likes to pin Jessica down with, and Sehun actually laughs out loud right in Jongin’s face. “Sweetie, don’t even try.” Sehun mumbles, patting Jongin’s cheek as he climbs off the stool and passes by him. Jongin tries to look exasperated, but there’s amusement clear in his features. Sehun walks around Jongin and squeezes Jessica’s shoulder on his way to his jacket. “You can stick around for as long as you want. There are leftovers in the fridge, in case you get hungry.”
“Leftovers made by you or someone else?” Jessica asks.
“Hey!” Sehun puts a hand over his chest, playfully offended. “I’m a great cook.”
Jongin shakes his head as Jessica makes a face. Sehun glances between them, scowling slightly.
“Fine.” Sehun reaches for the door, pouting like a child, as he waves her off, “Then starve. See if I care.”
Jongin laughs again and Jessica wonders why he sounds so carefree, so lovely and genuine, this morning. She stares at him, taking in his tan skin and his sweet smile, and she thinks she likes Jongin like this the best, uninhibited and free. Jongin taps the counter with his fingers to an unknown rhythm and speaks to her, though he’s still gazing through the door Sehun had gone through, small smile playing at his lips. “Go ahead and order takeout. You know where the extra takeout money is, don’t you?”
She nods and Jongin nods in response. She returns to her food, leaving Jongin to follow Sehun out, but then Jongin suddenly grips the side of her head and presses a fleeting kiss there. She blinks, surprised yet again, her chopsticks clattering against the plate. Jongin’s grip is light, easy to break out of if she really wanted to, and his kiss is feather-light and gentle, there and gone almost as quickly as it happened, like it was done on impulse. She blinks at him when he straightens up, frowning because he just looks extremely amused by her expression. He doesn’t say another word, though, spinning on his heels and walking out the door without a glance back, the door clicking shut behind him.
Slowly, she reaches up and touches the side of her head, her eyes wide.
(Butterflies explode at the pit of her stomach and she tries to tell herself to calm down. They’ve always been ridiculously touchy with her and there’s nothing new about Jongin initiating contact so suddenly, pretty much an hour after she’s woken up. He’s done it plenty of times before. There’s no reason for her to feel like this about something so ordinary, though Sehun is usually the one to shower her with fluttering little touches whenever he’s feeling extra touchy on particular days.
There is nothing extraordinary about this. In fact, it’s completely ordinary. At least that’s what she chants to herself until the butterflies go away and she’s left staring at a cold breakfast.)
~.~.~.~.~
Life, she thinks, has a tendency to knock people down when they least expect it.
Perhaps, that’s why she finds herself sprawled out on her back in the back of an abandoned van, breathing heavily, chest rising and falling, up and down, up and down. Mina and her ragged breathing echoes in the sudden silence and Jessica thinks it sounds too loud to her own ears.
(It’s too loud and she can hear the voices beyond the hastily locked back door, she can hear the gunshots, the gruff yelling, and Jessica tries and tries to catch her breath, focusing on the adrenaline running through her veins rather than the fear.)
She turns her head to the side, her left cheek pressing against the dusty van floor and Mina is looking at her with the same expression Jessica figures is plastered across her own face.
This was supposed to be a routine checkup of their warehouse, where they would do an inventory on their products and punish any of the guards who have been allegedly stealing from the inventory before heading out. Except, when Jessica and Mina had shown up at LILAC’s backup warehouse, the usual guards (the ones they had personally hired, as well as the ones Junmyeon had basically transferred over to them without any type of discussion on the matter on either of their parts) were gone and their warehouse had been as empty as the day they had first taken the place after the rest of B.A.P. disappeared.
Jessica had known something was off from the minute they stepped onto the warehouse property. They hadn’t even stepped inside however, before she heard a rev of an engine and Mina had screamed at her to run, tugging at her arm, making Jessica stumble as they veered left, just as a white van came tumbling through exactly where they had been standing ten seconds ago.
Jessica had heard gunshots and she glanced over her shoulder, watching as the van skidded to stop in front of the warehouse, and men in black masks poured out of the car. One of them was not wearing a mask and Jessica had recognized him immediately.
Moon Jongup.
His silver hair glinted in the setting afternoon sun and Jessica had stumbled over her own two feet, mesmerized by the way his dark eyes had scanned the space in front of the warehouse, wandering from man to man until it had landed on Jessica and Mina. Mina was walking backwards, pulling at Jessica’s sleeve, until she seemed to freeze in place, her fingers forming a death grip on Jessica’s wrist. Jessica had watched as Moon Jongup had grinned at them, a horrifying expression crossing his features, one that had Jessica grabbing Mina’s rigid form almost immediately, shivers running up and down her spine.
“Run.” Jessica had whispered. Jessica had glanced at Mina’s face and her heart felt constricted in her own chest, because Mina’s face had gotten so pale right then, Jessica was afraid Mina would faint on the spot. There was also fear, vulnerability, the ghosts of everything Jessica had seen in her own face for months afterwards, flitting across Mina’s face and Jessica had hated it, because Mina was strong, she had been recovering so well, and Jessica is watching it all fall apart right before her eyes. “Run!” She screams it this time, her voice cracking because Jessica doesn’t scream, she’s never the one to scream and her vocal chords aren’t used to the sudden strain.
That had seemed to jolt Mina out of her thoughts because suddenly they were running and they could hear footsteps slamming against pavement behind them, guns going off, shouting so much shouting, but Jessica had just clutched onto Mina’s wrist and pulled, while Mina did the same to her.
They had run through alleyway after alleyway, trying in vain to lose them, but every time they thought that they were safe, they could hear voices right behind them, angrily shouting and snickering as if this chase was some kind of game to them. At one point, there was a dead end and Mina had looked on in horror at the looming wall in front of them, the sound of engines revving loudly, too loudly, in the distance. And then Jessica had pushed her forward, towards the dumpsters lining the wall and they had climbed over top, Jessica hoisting Mina up towards the chain link fence lining the top of the wall. It had taken Mina three tries to cling onto the wall and haul herself up, while Jessica glanced behind them franticly, the hairs at the back of her neck standing on end in fear and anticipation. Mina had gotten over eventually, landing on her feet first, and Jessica had been hanging off the chain link fence, trying to catch her footing against the edge of the wall. That’s when Moon Jongup had skidded into the alleyway, his dark eyes locking onto hers, and Jessica’s heart had fallen into her stomach, her palms growing sweaty as she had looked on, unable to tear her eyes away from Moon Jongup’s.
Fear, she knows, is something she is very, very familiar with, but right then and there, Jessica thinks Moon Jongup’s steely eyes alone had to have been one of the most terrifying things she has ever experienced in her whole life. Her heart had lodged in and suddenly breathing had become incredibly difficult. His entire essence, his aura, had been a terrifying thing to witness, yet he hadn’t even moved a muscle yet.
And then he had smiled, his lips curling. The dim street lights had emanated a sort of white glow throughout the darkening streets, the light glinting off his sharp features, casting long shadows over his face that had only made him appear more predatory, like a wolf setting its eyes on its cornered prey. Her fingers tightened around the chain links and her foot slipped from its foothold for a moment, her eyes wide.
(But he had never lifted his gun like she expected him to and Mina’s tug at her ankle had made her drop off the wall, then, her knee skidding against the brick, the sudden pain distracting her from her frantic heartbeat and the fear coursing through her, distracting her from his dark, prickly gaze. Thankfully, Mina had been there to catch her before she had landed on her backside, Mina’s fingers gripping Jessica’s arms tightly. He hadn’t lifted his gun to shoot her in the face, though he definitely had plenty of time to do so, and Jessica doesn’t have time to speculate why he had just stood there and watched her, his dark eyes examining her face, not when she hears voices on the other side of the wall and she knows that they’re still coming for the two of them.)
They had taken a right, practically toppling into a homeless man. The man had blinked at them and Mina had apologized profusely, bowing at him as she sprinted away, Jessica following after her, apologizing as well. Two turns later and that’s when they had happened upon the van, the very same van that they had abandoned in an alleyway what seems like a lifetime ago, when EXO had chased them through the streets in a deadly car chase. The van was still riddled with bullet holes, the glass windows shattered, but Jessica had still reached for the back of the van, yanking the door open before she had pulled Mina through, quietly pulling the door shut with a soft thud behind them.
Now, they lay there, on their backs, breathing heavily, hands over their mouth because even that could give them away, and they listen. They listen, Jessica sitting up slowly when she hears footsteps nearing the van, a gun clicking softly. She glances over at Mina and Mina has a knife pulled out, the one Mina had taken to keeping on her at all times recently. Jessica, on the other hand, likes to keep guns on her, but when she reaches for her hip, where she always keeps her small gun, her fingers curl around empty space.
(Only then does she remember that she had left it on Sehun and Jongin’s kitchen counter, earlier this afternoon, and her heart leaps in her chest at the thought.)
She scrambles for something, anything, to use as a weapon, but her hands come up empty and all she can do is stare at the van’s back door and push the panic down as far as it can go.
(It builds and builds, though, threatening to burst out of her, but she breathes deeply and refuses to let it overwhelm her, not now. Not when she needs to stay level-headed, not when she wants to get out of this, not for herself, but for Mina, for Sooyong and Minhee.
For Jongin and Sehun, a voice whispers at the back of her head and she can’t even deny that right now.)
There’s another heavy footfall, so loud that it makes Jessica close her eyes and take a deep, deep breath while Mina exhales softly beside her, her fingers curling tightly around the switchblade.
But then she hears an unfamiliar voice, a raspy deep, “Some homeless guy said he saw them go the other way. Boss wants us to regroup, come on.”
And then the footfalls grow distant, one of the men laughing loudly, and Jessica lets out the breath she hadn’t even realized she had been holding in until right then. She slumps back in relief, her limbs draining of all energy right then and there, and Mina slumps against her, her grip still tight around the knife in her hands, so tight that her knuckles are beginning to turn white.
It’s quiet between them, so so quiet, until Jessica reaches over and gently pries the knife out of Mina’s fingers, tugging at a single finger at a time until the switchblade is free. Jessica drops the switchblade on the floor, the soft thud sounding a million times louder than it should. Mina’s hands are shaking, shivering, and Jessica doesn’t say anything, she just wraps both her hands around Mina’s right hand, gripping it tightly in hopes that maybe she can somehow squeeze the nerves, the panic, the fear, out of Mina.
(Only later, when Jessica finally pulls out her cellphone, does she realize that her hands are shaking as well, trembling so much that Jessica can’t even hold the phone steadily and has to place it on her knees, putting it on speaker instead.)
~.~.~.~.~
Kris and Sooyong aren’t arguing for once, that’s what Jessica notices first, watching the way Kris and Sooyong stand across from each other, arms crossed and heads close, as they discuss plans in low voices. Sooyong nods in agreement at something Kris says and Kris smiles slightly before his expression returns to its signature steely look as he listens to Sooyong speak, without interrupting for once.
“It’s a miracle, isn’t it?” A familiar voice murmurs, from beside Jessica. Jessica glances up and watches as Byun Baekhyun smiles, watching the same scene she is with a slightly amused expression. He has a folded up blanket in his arms and before Jessica can say anything, he’s taking a seat in the empty chair beside her, handing her the blanket despite the fact that he continues watching Kris and Sooyong, as if he’s worried that their camaraderie will break at any moment and he’ll have to drag Sooyong out of there before one of them tries to murder the other.
“Yeah, you finally get a break, don’t you?” Jessica mumbles, taking the blanket from him. She stares at the blanket for a long, long moment, before she slowly unfolds it and wraps herself up in it, because she’s shivering from both the cold and the sudden drop in adrenaline and she definitely needs it more than she’d like to admit.
Baekhyun laughs at that, bobbing his head as he grins, his loud burst of laughter making Sooyong glance over in their direction, her eyes softening significantly when it lands on Jessica and Baekhyun before she focuses her attention back on Kris.
It’s quiet between the two of them and Jessica’s eyes travel to the other side of the living room, where Junmyeon is rubbing his chin and pacing back and forth, phone pressed to his ear and expression utterly dangerous. “Do you want me to call them after they’re done with their work?” Baekhyun asks, suddenly, breaking her out of her thoughts and her dazed focus on Junmyeon.
Jessica blinks, glancing over at Baekhyun, who is looking at her the same way Jongdae had earlier when he had nearly yanked the doors of the abandoned van off its hinges, Chanyeol looking on with an uncharacteristically stoic demeanor. He’s looking at her with a strange mixture of worry and respect. But there’s something else there that Jongdae did not have in his expression, something restrained, cautious.
A part of her, a giant part of her, wants to say yes. Baekhyun doesn’t need to use their names for her to know who he’s talking about and she thinks, that in itself, speaks volumes for that yes. But that stubborn part of her that’s always thrived off the pride she’s had in her own self-reliance since she could remember screams no, no, no and Jessica doesn’t have the energy, right then, to sort between the two contradictions. So she frowns and mutters, “I don’t know.”
And Baekhyun dips his head down with a strangely understanding look in his eyes and responds with, “Fair enough.”
It’s quiet again, the whole room is ridiculously quiet, everyone’s voices low, tense, and Jessica feels like she’ll suffocate in the quietness of it all. So she speaks up again, if only to fill the silence. “Where’s Mina?”
Jessica can already guess where Mina is, because Yixing had shown up, panting and out of breath, before he had checked the two of them for injuries, quickly smearing Jessica’s cut with ointment before wrapping it up. And then he had turned to Mina and they had exchanged a look, one that seemed to contain thousands and thousands of words, before Mina had taken his wrist and walked out of the room, out of the house, Yixing allowing her to pull him along behind her. No one had stopped them; no one had even bothered to watch them leave. Except for Jessica.
Baekhyun smiles slightly at the question and Jessica watches as his eyes flicker over her face for a moment before he says, “Yixing says they’re eating barbeque.” Jessica blinks, startled by the answer, and Baekhyun shrugs at her questioning look. “You never…” Baekhyun pauses, brows furrowing as if he’s trying to think of the right words to say before he continues, “Do you want to tell me exactly what happened, Jessica?”
The question hangs between them and Jessica then realizes that she hasn’t told them all the details yet. When Jongdae and Chanyeol had found them, they hadn’t asked any questions and all Mina managed to tell Sooyong was that the warehouse was hijacked and they were chased by them before she had gone totally quiet. Sooyong hadn’t even asked Jessica the question, taking one look at her before she had fussed over Jessica, making sure she was physically okay.
“It was Moon Jongup.” Jessica says, in a surprisingly steady voice, though feels scratchy and dry. Baekhyun seems startled by her words, turning in his seat so he’s facing her, his eyes widening and his mouth falling into a small ‘o’ shape. “Moon Jongup came back to reclaim B.A.P’s warehouse. He and his people chased us down.”
“But he didn’t kill you?” Baekhyun stares at her, his brown eyes boring into hers for a long, long time.
It’s clear he thinks it’s strange, outlandish even. So does she.
She nods, “It…he…he had a clear shot. But he didn’t do it. He didn’t even raise his gun.”
Baekhyun stares at her real hard, seemingly analyzing her, and that’s when she realizes just how quiet the room has become. When she looks up, Sooyong and Kris are exchanging a look and Junmyeon has his arms crossed, leaning back against the wall, staring at Jessica with an unreadable look that makes her skin prickle.
And then there’s a knock at Baekhyun’s door, making the tension shatter into a million pieces, Baekhyun breaking out into a cute little smile, all curved eyes and teeth. He ruffles Jessica’s hair, patting her head consolingly before he leaves the room. Sooyong gets up and follows after him, not before placing a quick kiss against the side of Jessica’s head (much to Jessica’s embarrassment), and Junmyeon takes the seat that Sooyong had previously occupied, shoving his phone under Kris’s nose immediately, a stern expression engulfing his face. Jessica watches as Kris studies the phone, but he must feel her gaze on him because suddenly, his dark eyes flicker up to meet hers, holding her gaze for a long, long moment. She’s the first to look away, caught up in the look in his eyes and the fact that there’s something there that she doesn’t like, hidden in the deep darkness, in the slight narrowing of his eyes. Something knowing. Something that makes her chest tighten, that scares her the slightest bit.
A thought flits through her head, then, a horrifying thought. Does he know about Zelo’s offer?
More importantly, is that why Jongup never raised his gun at her, when he clearly had nothing physically stopping him?
And why does that thought, the thought of Kris (Sooyong, Mina, Minhee, Jongin, Sehun, any of them) finding out about Zelo and his visit, make her feel so much dread? Why does it make her feel guilty? Why does it feel like the pit of her stomach is heavy, churning and bubbling up into her chest, into , making it hard to breathe, think, do anything? Why?
Why?
That’s the only word that flits through her thoughts, only intensifying when veined, tanned hands close around her fingers, the ones she can’t stop looking at, and he traces circles against the back of her palms, squeezing her hands lightly in his. Her heart skips a beat at the warmth, the warmth that seems to only anchor her in place, wholly and completely.
“Hey.” He breathes and it’s so quiet, only she can hear his words, a deep rumble in the back of his throat. She looks up at him when he doesn’t say anything else, and she’s met with unblinking eyes, searching her face carefully, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Hey.” She murmurs back, blinking a bit at the intensity in his gaze.
“You okay?”
She stares at him for a long moment before she shrugs, “Fine.”
“Doesn’t look like it?”
“I mean, I did get chased by a bunch of gunmen, you know.” Jessica says that slowly, nonchalantly. “Stuff like that kind makes you look not okay.”
Jongin nods and his lip twitches the slightest bit. She also sees his jaw tick and she can tell he’s torn between laughing on remaining angry, cold.
He plays with her fingers, flicking at the tops of her fingers with his, and she can’t help but ask, “Where’s Sehun?”
Jongin looks up at her, through the fringe of his hair, through the long strands of his eyelashes, and she thinks he looks so utterly breathtaking that way, so utterly beautiful, that it makes her heart skip a beat and her breathing hitch. “He stayed behind on the job since his tech skills were needed.” The sentence comes out rather clipped, business-like, slightly accusing like Jongin isn’t really willing to talk much more on the subject. So Jessica just nods, dipping her head a bit as she lets it go for the moment, and then Jongin traces a long line down the back of her hand with his thumb, “Want to get out of here?”
She nods and abruptly gets to her feet, wobbling a little at the slight sting along her shin. Jongin notices it, of course he does, and he glances down at her leg, taking in her entire ragged demeanor, jaw ticking. She slips the blanket off of her, folding it before she places it on the seat under her and Jongin immediately slides his leather jacket off his shoulders, handing it to her.
She stares at his outstretched hand, at the leather jacket, and she shakes her head, “I’m fine.”
Jongin gives her a look, that look he always likes to give her, the look that sometimes, when circumstances are just right, leaves her completely weak kneed, and she just scowls, shaking her head.
Then Jongin huffs and dumps his leather jacket on top of her head, walking out of the room as she shakes the jacket off her, glaring at his back with a mouthful of leather, before she drops it on the couch and trails after him, grumbling to herself in annoyance. She swears she hears Junmyeon chuckle softly behind her, but she just stomps out of the house, shutting the door softly behind her because she does have manners. Jongin takes on look at her, as he twirls his keys, and throws her his signature glare for the entire walk back to the car. “Did you really just—”
“I said I was fine.” Jessica interrupts, pursing her lips.
Jongin just glares some more, but there’s a pout there, childish and petty, even as he revs the engine of his car while he stares at the road ahead, and she feels her chest tighten slightly at the look. Because it’s cute, she can’t deny that no matter how much she wants to.
~.~.~.~.~
Jessica stares around the apartment, the same apartment she had woken up in just this morning, and she wonders if it’s bad that she feels more at home here than she does in her own dorm. There are two places in the whole entire world that she’d call home. The first is Sooyong and Mina’s apartment. And, now, she thinks that Jongin and Sehun’s apartment feels like home to her, too, because she feels safe and secure here, more than she had ever felt in her dormitory or even her childhood home before she had escaped to SM University.
She’s jolted out of her thoughts by a t-shirt hitting her face, making her jump as she scrambles to catch it, her eyes snapping up to glare at the person who had thrown it at her.
Jongin stares back at her, leaning against the open doorway of his bedroom, one shoulder pressed against the door hinge and his hair swooping all over the place messily, his dark eyes watching her carefully as his lips press into a thin line, one that turns upwards the slightest bit when her glare only deepens.
Jessica shakes out the t-shirt, straightening it, before she tears her eyes off of Jongin’s face, his dark eyes and tanned skin and plump, pink lips. She tears her gaze off him before her eyes can wander aimlessly behind him, towards the dark expanse of his room, the room she hasn’t been inside of in almost half a year.
For some Godforsaken reason, her heart sinks in her chest and she turns her attention on the t-shirt before her so she doesn’t have to focus on the why, the reasoning, behind that particular sinking feeling.
Then she glares at the t-shirt because it’s Jongin’s (he’s the only one between Sehun and Jongin who seems to have an unhealthy obsession for black V-necks) and when she fully shakes it out she notices that it’s long, landing just above her knees even though she hasn’t tried it on yet.
She looks up at Jongin and his dark eyes are pinned on hers, his plump bottom lip catching in his teeth for just half a second before his arms form a sort of barrier between them, cutting her off to him as he crosses his arms over his chest, eyeing her with an unreadable expression she suddenly wishes she could even half decipher.
“You took all your clothes back with you a few months ago.” Jongin explains, rather bluntly, his tone coming out soft and billowy to her ears.
She narrows her eyes at him, she can’t help it, because a few months ago (six months ago, to be exact), Jongin had been the one to show up at her doorstep with a bag filled with all the clothes she had left at their apartment, from her favorite sweater to a shirt she’s pretty sure she had swiped off of Minhee to even her unpaired socks, and dropped it in the middle of her dorm room, eyes blazing, before he had swiftly his heels and walked away. He hadn’t even slammed the door shut behind him, pulling it shut politely instead, but it had been completely grating.
A few months ago, Jongin’s entire demeanor towards her had abruptly returned to how it had been in the beginning, when he’d give her strange side-long looks and created tension, tension that they used to resolve with one night stands. But this time that had come to a sudden halt, too, and the tension ended up building and building until it festered into this need to defy Jongin on every single thing that ever left his mouth, this need of Jessica’s to get under his skin had become worse than it ever was.
(He had turned cold and she had always thought that it was infinitely worse than how he had been when they first met, because back then she had never known the warmth Jongin could possess. Now, she does and it’s infinitely worse.)
“You mean you did.” She says that softly, matter-of-factly, ignoring the bitter taste on her tongue.
Jongin observes her for a long, long time, then, and she does the same back. She watches as he presses his shoulder further into the door hinge and looks at her like he’s seeing her for the first time. His hair falls over his eyes, a little too long for him, and she notices how it irritates him, how he blinks away the ends of his strands falling into his line of sight.
“Yeah.” He says, a long while later, so long that she has to take a minute to remember what he’s responding to in the first place. “Yeah, I did.” His eyes seem to glaze over at that, but his dark eyes are still pinned on her the entire time, and she feels the tension grow between them all over again, festering like an infected wound.
The tension grows thick, suffocating, and Jongin keeps looking at her, keeps eyeing her with unreadable eyes that, frankly, drive her crazy. Sehun never looks at her like that. Sehun looks at her like he knows what she’s thinking at that very moment and he understands all of it, while Jongin looks at her like he knows every single thought that’s ever gone through her head and he’s scrutinizing all of it, each and every single one.
She hates it, finds Jongin’s looks absolutely maddening, and he knows it.
But he keeps watching her, not even moving an inch from his spot, his arms folded across his chest, his shirt drawn over his taut arms, exposing the small tattoo he has just on the inside of his upper arm, a series of dots and stars that reminded her of a constellation. She had asked him about it once, what feels like a lifetime ago, when she had found herself in the dark expanse of that room his figure is blocking from her view for the first time ever.
She was lying on her stomach, head propped up on her arm as she stares down at that particular tattoo, the only one he has apart from the hexagon shaped maze-like tattoo on his back shoulder, the same one he says the rest of EXO has. She remembers how she had traced the lines with her finger, the way he had shuddered slightly under her touch before turning his head away from the ceiling, his cheek pressed against his pillow as he observed her movements with unreadable eyes, his tan skin warm. She remembers the way the moonlight filled the room, the curtain billowing because of the late night breeze. She remembers the wash of white moonlight casting his face in thousands of shadows, masking his expression, barely hiding the tiny upwards quirk of his swollen pink lips.
(She remembers what he had said, how she had asked, “What’s this one for?”
And he had smiled, eyes flickering over her face, before murmuring, voice deep and throaty, “For my universe.”
She had grimaced at that, frowning at the tattoo before turning her frown on him, wrinkling her nose in disgust, “That’s disgustingly cheesy.”
“Funny.” His lip had twitched upwards for reasons she still doesn’t know before he had replied, “You’re not the only one who’s told me that.”
“Really?” She had pursed her lips, “Who else?”
His smile had only grown, a truly genuine twisted little thing she thinks he needs to practice perfecting, before he had leaned forward, so close his lips had hovered over hers, never touching but there, making her heart thrum against her ribs and goose bumps blaze a fiery path down her spine, down every part of her body she remembers him tracing paths along barely just a little while ago. His dark eyes had flit between hers before he had whispered in a low, low voice, “You know,” He had touched her cheek, crook of his finger trailing along her jaw, raising hell-fire in its wake, before he had whispered, “You ask a lot of questions.”
His finger had stilled against the very tip of her lips and she had taken a shaky breath, watching as his lips turned down into a frown, eyes growing dark.
And then he had rolled off the bed, leaving her gasping for air, her eyes wide while he just looked down at her carefully, a scrutinizing tilt to his head, his , lithe form leaving her blushing and turning her eyes away, despite everything. Though he had shut the bathroom door softly behind him, the dull thud still echoed throughout the silent apartment and she remembers vaguely wondering where Sehun was as she stared up at the ceiling and tried to steady her heartrate.)
She reaches for the hem of her shirt, then, tucking her forearms around it, and he continues watching her, gaze flickering down to her hands before they flicker back up to her face. The tension is so ing thick that she feels like she’s drowning in it, she feels like she’s being buried alive in the tension between them and there’s nothing she can do to stop it and it makes her mad. Mad because that’s all they ever are; tension, tension, tension, and she mistakenly believed that perhaps all that was beginning to disappear again, but it’s been less than twenty-four hours and she’s suffocating in his tension again.
So she provokes him. She does what she always does and she provokes him, defies him, locks eyes with him as she lifts her shirt over her head, tossing it at his face, and he doesn’t take his eyes off her face. He doesn’t glance downwards once as she s his shirt on over her head and she thinks that’s awfully noble of him, gritting her teeth as she yanks her jeans off and throws it at him, too.
Both her shirt and her jeans land far too short and he doesn’t even spare them a cursory glance, his gaze on her feeling so heavy that it makes her want to scream.
A lifetime ago, he would have taken the bait, the provocation, hook, line, and sinker. Because that’s what they used to do. Jessica would act and Jongin would react. But now he’s letting her make a fool of herself in front of him. For the first time, he’s letting her act and he’s not reacting and she hates it.
(Because, for some twisted reason, it’s always made Jessica feel alive, during a time when numbness was all she ever felt, and perhaps that’s why Jongin indulged her in her ed up coping methods, in getting off on such cheap thrills. Maybe that’s why Sehun always hovered close by; because it made her feel alive but feeling alive and living were never the same thing and both Sehun and Jongin were very much aware of that. Deep down she knews that, too. She still does.)
This time, she doesn’t let the silence stretch on and on, her eyes flickering down to the pile of her clothes lying between them. She stares at it as she speaks
“Why?” She asks, point blank, crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyes meet his and he doesn’t look away.
“Why, what?” He questions, still staring heavily at her.
(Why did you reject me? a tiny, lonely voice at the back of her head whispers, and she wonders if that’s just a product of her demons, the ones that had left her insecure and broken long before the warehouse a year ago, or if that’s actually how she feels. She can’t even figure that out anymore.)
“Why, what?” He repeats it, voice lower, raspier. Gentler. Softer.
“Why did you—” Jessica’s voice catches in and Jongin doesn’t move away from his doorway, as if there’s something tethering him to that spot. She narrows her eyes at him, tries for angry like she usually does, and continues, “Why did you throw all my stuff out?”
Slowly, Jongin shuts his eyes, his long lashes brushing against his cheeks. He lets out a soft breath, a weary ancient sigh that has anger coursing through her because it makes her feel like she’s burdening him with her questions and she hates it.
When he opens his eyes again, there’s a glint to it that makes her fingers ball into fists. His gaze is soft, too soft, and guilty. There’s guilt there, festering and odd on his features, out of place.
She stares at him and she doesn’t understand the sinking feeling in her chest at his look. It leaves her confused.
(She realizes that that’s how Jongin always makes her feel: confused. He’s hot and then he’s cold and she’s always trying and trying and trying to match him, to keep herself on her toes to catch up with all of that, all of him. And she’s confused, she’s angry, she doesn’t deserve this feeling of loneliness he always seems to drag out of her. She just wants to know why.
Why does she feel like he’s rejecting her again? Like he had six months ago?)
And he stands there, against the door hinge with eyes filled with guilt, with pity that makes her want to tear her hair out, and he whispers, “I’m sorry.”
Before she can say anything, the door to the apartment jingles before the door is thrown open.
She’s engulfed in a pair of arms almost immediately, a hand cupping her cheek, and she tears her eyes off of Jongin, focusing on Sehun’s worried eyes as he cups her cheek and turns her face, making her face him.
“Are you okay?” His thumb brushes along the apple of her cheeks.
She nods, stiffly, and Sehun’s eyes fall downwards, still cupping both her cheeks as he examines her for himself. His jaw tightens, though, and she doesn’t miss it, she doesn’t miss the way he glances over his shoulder and locks eyes with Jongin. Jongin’s expression doesn’t change, though his eyes do soften, before Sehun turns back to her and smooths back her hair with hands, thumb tracing the edges of her face.
“I’m glad.” He murmurs, low and soft, and Jessica’s heart twists inexplicably.
~.~.~.~.~
She falls asleep curled up in Sehun’s bed, Sehun’s fingers tangling in her hair as he sits cross-legged beside her.
And she wakes up in the middle of the night to quiet whispers right outside Sehun’s bedroom door.
“What’s wrong with you?” The voice is quiet, but sharp, and Jessica immediately matches the voice to Sehun’s. “Why would you give her—”
“I know.” Another voice—Jongin—cuts over his words, voice much softer than Sehun’s. He sounds so tired. “It was stupid.”
"Yeah." There’s a pause, a long, long pause, before Sehun says, “We can’t let this happen, Jongin. Not again.” Sehun sounds even more exhausted than Jongin had and Jessica’s heart skips a beat. “Not since…”
He trails off and Jongin retorts, “We won’t.” Jongin sounds determined, his voice louder than a whisper as it echoes in the hallway. “We won’t.”
“It’s just. We can’t do that to—” Sehun’s voice cracks, lilts up before shattering apart, into a million piercing shards, falling away halfway through his sentence, and Jessica’s chest swells with emotion at the horrible sound.
There’s a soft thud then, like a back hitting a wall, and then there are soft murmurs, barely decipherable, as if they’re being whispered in the dark. She hears bits and pieces, both their voices intermingling and indistinguishable to her ears, gentle shushes and we won’t and Lu and I swear and Jessie and listen c'mon listen to me and deserves better and baby baby baby and then there are footsteps, soft and quick, stumbling and uneven, coupled with small, irregular bumps against the walls, before another door in the apartment falls shut with a dull thud and Jessica is left alone with her jumbled thoughts as she tries to make sense of what she’s just heard.
~.~.~.~.~
Kim Donghyuk is unusually quiet that morning and Jessica tries to tell herself not to care, since it is nearly seven in the morning. But when he had smiled at her in greeting this morning it had never reached his eyes and she’s so used to him being unusually (annoyingly) energetic at all times of the day that it bothers her a lot more than she thought it would.
Sehun isn’t there. He had woken her up, ruffling her hair when she blinked sleepily up at him before reminding her that she had ten minutes to get to class. So here she was, wearing a sweater of Sehun’s and her black jeans from yesterday, clutching onto a cup of coffee Sehun bought her for dear life. Sehun had dropped her off, muttering something about an early morning check in with his people and needing to skip class, before driving off.
Usually Donghyuk would be happy about the fact that Sehun isn’t there to make snide comments that leave Donghyuk flustered and Jessica frowning at Sehun for being mean to the boy. Strangely, she’s grown a soft spot for the optimistic freshman who tries entirely too hard to get her to smile at him and Sehun seems irritated by the way she berates him for being harsh to the boy.
But today, he’s standing against the wall of the hall, both hands clutching the straps of his backpack as he stares blankly across the hall. He hasn’t said anything for the past five minutes, after asking her if she slept well, and she’s already done with half her cup.
Sighing, she finally speaks up, “Donghyuk?”
His eyes flicker sideways, landing on her, and she sees something there, something that she can’t quite decipher. “Yeah?” His expression turns bright and he grins at her, but it doesn’t reach his eyes yet again. His tone is light, cheery, almost forceful in its brightness.
She raises a brow at him, “Do you want to…” She trails off, frowning to herself because she was never that great at comforting people. She takes a deep, deep breath and tries again, “Do you have something on your mind?”
“Nope, I’m fine.” Donghyuk shakes his head, smiling so widely his dimple appears.
She smiles absentmindedly at the obvious attempt he’s making, but she decides not to push it. They’re not close and she may have a soft spot for the boy, but she can’t and won’t force him to open up to her unless he wants to. “If you ever want to talk, I’ll listen.” She laughs a little, sardonically of course because she can’t help it. “I’m good at that.”
Donghyuk snorts in amusement, “Yeah, sometimes talking to you feels like talking the stuffed bear in my room.” Then he blinks, blushing bright red, and stutters over his words, shaking his head, “Not…not that I have one of those in my room…haha….ha, hypothetically of course…” Donghyuk rubs the back of his neck, laughter halting.
Jessica can’t help but grin at the way he turns pink right up to the tip of his ears, “Of course.” She says, her smile hurting her cheeks a bit.
Donghyuk ducks his head, turning away from her, and they settle into silence, comfortable on her part, but probably very awkward on his.
Just when she’s finished with her entire cup of coffee, Donghyuk looks at her, cheeks still tinged a pretty pink. His twinkling eyes dart down to the cup, where Sehun’s name is written in swirly black sharpie, before he looks up at her. He opens his mouth as if he wants to say something before he clamps it shut.
She eyes him carefully as she tosses her cup away in the trash, “Just speak your mind, Donghyuk.” She tells him, silently reminding herself to speak gently to him, because she really doesn’t want him to burst into tears or something.
“Have you ever done something that you completely regret?” Donghyuk asks, his voice coming out soft and tiny, his eyes wide as he looks at her.
Jessica doesn’t even need to think that over. She can name five things right then and there, off the top of her head, starting with the day she decided to go downtown to look for weapons. Or maybe the day she didn’t even reevaluate the consequences behind robbing a bank. There were—are—so many regrets.
“Yeah.” She breathes out, pursing her lips.
Donghyuk stares at her, actually looks her in the eyes for once, and it’s strange because the ever-present softness disappears for just a moment replaced by poorly concealed skepticism, before he looks away, down at his toes. “I just wish… I wish I could take back what I promised.” Donghyuk mumbles. “I wish I never agreed to what I did, but now it’s too late.”
Jessica pauses, staring at the top of Donghyuk’s head. Her heart feels tight at the sight because he’s just a naïve little freshman and she doesn’t particularly like it when the boy is sad. “It’s never too late to back out of a promise.” Jessica shakes her head, eyeing the boy sincerely, “I’m sure your friend will understand. Just…Just make it up to them in some other way.”
Donghyuk looks up at her and his eyes flash as he nods, “Yeah.” He whispers, “I guess you’re right.”
Then he flashes her a smile and before she can respond, he knocks his hand lightly against her shoulder, grinning playfully. “You’re a great friend.” He says, cheerfully, and she doesn’t understand how his mood could lift so easily. She hadn’t even given him any kind of helpful advice. She just stares at him like he’s grown another head, rubbing her shoulder absentmindedly, and he grins, waving to her, “I gotta get to class. See ya!”
And then he scurries off, his hat falling off his head as he skids around the corner, and she’s left staring after him, still rubbing her shoulder, until a classmate waves her hand in front of Jessica’s face and asks you coming? jolting her out of her thoughts.
~.~.~.~.~
“It’s a mess.” Sooyong murmurs, her voice raspy and her eyes rimmed red from lack of sleep, hair messy. It’s late, too late really, but it’s the only time Minhee could have joined them so they have to compromise. Sooyong glances back at her closed bedroom door, where Sooyong left Baekhyun sleeping, before she scoots closer to the table.
Minhee chews on a handful of M&Ms, rubbing her eyes as she yawns. Then she squints at Sooyong and says, “You’re telling me that you had weapons hidden in that warehouse?” Minhee pauses, crossing her arms as her wide eyes seem to analyze Sooyong. “Weapons you bought that you haven’t told Kris about?”
Sooyong nods, “I don’t like it.” She grimaces, grabbing a handful of M&Ms from the bowl, too. “I don’t like how Kris is monitoring our weapons and supplies. I mean, I didn’t say much about this in the beginning because we were all recovering. But after the Bangtan incident, I realized that he thinks he has full control of all of our assets, and maybe he doesn’t want us to die, but it’s still dangerous. I don’t like him having so much control over our things.” Sooyong frowns thoughtfully, “I don’t like how he’s ignoring the fact that Moon Jongup is back in town.”
Minhee smiles slightly, leaning over to pat Sooyong’s shoulder, “That was a good plan. Even though we don’t have the weapons anymore.”
Sooyong makes a face at Minhee, one that has Jessica, Minhee, and Mina laughing at Sooyong as her grimace deepens.
“Maybe Kris thinks Moon Jongup isn’t a threat?” Mina pipes up, suddenly, as she lines up a few M&Ms on the coffee table, coordinating them by color.
Minhee snorts, “Have you seen the guy? He’s terrifying.”
Mina glances up from her M&Ms and rolls her eyes, “Yeah, I have.”
“Oh, . Sorry, Min.”
Mina just shakes her head, smiling a little, “ It’s okay.”
“Or maybe he’s underestimating them again.” Jessica says, interrupting the silence falling over them, purposely reaching over to snatch an M&M out of Mina’s perfectly color-coordinated line, earning herself a glare from Mina. Jessica chews on the M&M thoughtfully before she says, “I mean, look at how Zelo escaped. Look at what he’s been doing lately. The way Jongup just let me go unscathed. Everything just seems so…planned.” Jessica makes a face, “And God knows how much Kris underestimated Yongguk last time.”
Jessica wonders if now is the time to tell them about Zelo’s visit, about his words to her. But, for some reason, she just can’t tell them. She can’t have them worrying about her, not when they always do already. Besides, what Zelo had told her wasn’t important. It’s not like Jessica will ever join him in the first place.
Sooyong purses her lips, nodding, eyes darkening at the mention of Yongguk. “What are we going to do?” She sighs, twirling an M&M along the table, her brows furrowed.
“I don’t know.” Minhee murmurs, rubbing her eyes, “But one thing for certain is that I still don’t trust Kris completely. Do you?”
Sooyong shakes her head, “The only thing I trust is that he won’t let us die, because it’ll hurt his boys. That’s all he cares about.” She doesn’t sound bitter; she sounds understanding and Jessica thinks if their roles were reversed, Sooyong would do the same. Hell, Jessica would be the same.
“But there are things worse than death.” Jessica points out, leaning back on the palms of her hands as she observes her best friends carefully. They all look older than before, more exhausted, jaded, and it makes Jessica sad. When she says those words they all look at her, gauging her expression, and she knows it’s because Jessica can tell them firsthand what’s worse than death. They all can, because there are so many horrid things a human being can do to another under the guise of revenge, of family, of the lives they are now stuck living.
Mina speaks up then, glancing between the girls, “But I trust the others and I know you guys do, too.”
And there it is, There’s the truth hanging over them, the truth in the way Sooyong glances at her bedroom door, where Baekhyun is curled up in her bed, the truth in Jessica’s companionship in Jongin and Sehun, in her Mario Kart Heart-to-Hearts with Jongdae, the truth in Mina’s mental and emotional tether to Yixing, the one other person on the planet who understands exactly what she had to endure, her strange friendship with Junmyeon, the truth in Minhee’s close friendship with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. Perhaps they don’t entirely trust Kris, because he always keeps his distance, but they’ve grown close to the rest of them, somewhat reluctantly at first.
Jessica would trust any of them with her life. Even Kris, if worst comes to worst. And that’s most unsettling of all.
Mina settles her gaze on each of them, one by one. “I trust Kris, too. Not completely, but it’s there.”
Sooyong stares at the table for a long time before she says, “We still have to be careful.”
Jessica hates it, hates that this life of theirs has made living, trusting their own friends, so damn hard.
“Then keep doing what you were doing before. Let’s start from scratch and start gathering weapons and money off the books again.” Minhee says, in a quiet, somber tone. “Just in case.”
Slowly, they all nod in agreement, Sooyong taking one last glance back at her bedroom door before she turns back to them, steely hardness settling into her expression.
“If they’re not enough to stop Zelo and his allies,” Sooyong places both hands on the table in front of her and stares at them with hard, determined eyes. But Jessica sees the glimmer of unshed tears in her eyes and hears the slight tremble in her forceful tone. “If Kris isn’t enough, then we’re leaving. I’m not letting any of you go through this again. Do you understand me?”
The silence that engulfs them is heartbreaking, but Jessica knows Sooyong is right. She doesn’t think any of them can go through something like this again, not in one piece.
And then the door to Sooyong’s bedroom is pushed open and Baekhyun rubs at his eyes, yawning as he pads barefoot into the living room, his voice soft as he murmurs, “Soo, what are you doing?”
Baekhyun pauses at the threshold of the living room, right next to the bedroom door, and glances between the four of them sleepily. He doesn’t seem to notice the tension in the room, still groggy with sleep.
Sooyong blinks before she speaks, “I’m just catching up with Minhee. I haven’t seen her in forever.”
Baekhyun nods, pouting slightly before he leans against the doorway, dropping his head against the door hinge. “The bed is cold.” He whines, adorably.
Jessica wrinkles her nose just as Minhee and Mina groan in disgust at his tone and the way Sooyong smiles like an idiot.
“Please, go away if you’re going to be gross.” Minhee swats at Sooyong.
Sooyong rolls her eyes as she makes her way back to her bedroom, smiling despite herself as she pulls Baekhyun by the hand back into the bedroom, shutting the door softly behind her.
“She’s right, you know.” Mina says, voice so soft Jessica nearly thinks she’s imagined it. “We were just lucky the first time.”
“How will she leave?” Minhee asks. Her eyes drift over, locking with Jessica’s and her next words sound like they’re directed to Jessica specifically, “How will any of us leave?”
Jessica breaks eye contact first, straightening up on to her feet as she grabs the comforter so she can sleep on the couch while Minhee gets the air mattress on the floor. “Let’s just hope Kris is enough.”
a/n: I promise that next chapter is gonna hit the fan. tbh this fic/the relationships are going to be very slow-burn type of thing so I'm sorry if it's frustrating omg, I'm frustrated too lol. just let me know if you feel like the pacing is too slow and I'll speed it up, I feel like the pacing is already a little weird and it's making me :////
Also I'm finishing up some Baekhyun birthday not-really-a-surprise-surprise as an extra on Good Girls so stay tuned for that!!!!
anyways here is some shameless self promotion:
1) I've recently finished and kyungsoo/oc psychological thriller/angst/fluff that I am actually proud of (which is surprising I'm never proud of anything I write :///) and it'd be amazing if you all checked it out!
2) I've recently started a new fic! That's not super angsty!! just fluff, light angst, and me trying to be funny lmao! It's about got7 (though there's a lot of exo in it but basically I've fell into got7 hell recently). It's about McDonald's and Burger King declaring war on each other and it features Jackson/OC!! Check it out if you're interested!
ANYWAYS I'm done with that and thank you for reading and commenting! I will try to respond to all the comments! As usual, tell me what you thought below and subscribe/upvote if you want! Love you!
xoxo
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