Heechul ended up in heavy rain.  He stumbled out into the wetness just with his dress hanging loosely over his bare shoulders and body. But this was the least he cared about. The sound of Heechuls long cries, screams and sobs got lost in the sound of falling rain and thunders. The tears that kept streaming down his face mixed with the heavy rain drops hitting his hot skin. He was nearly at the gate when his legs gave in and he sunk to his knees. 

Just why? He asked himself over and over again. Why did he need to say those sinful words? Heechul screamed out into the darkness hitting the ground over and over again. Heechul placed his hand over his heart feeling as it was about to break into millions of pieces. 

But the words he heard kept repeating in his head making it hard for him to breathe. 

He was so wrong all the time. So stupid. So naive.

How could he think that what they had was real when everything Hankyung thought of was

"Je-essica!!". 
 

Heechul didn't move for minutes. He just kept holding his chest feeling as his heart broke apart. He stared into a puddle of water forming at his knees. He stared at his reflexion and observed how his own tears mixed with the rain and fell into the puddle. Oh how he hated himself at this moment. How he just wanted to punch his own face over his own foolishness. "You're such an idiot Heechul" He said to himself with a sarcastic smile on his lips.

Shaking his head he stood up up from the cold ground with weak knees and started walking. His steps were heavy and slow. He didn't knew where he was going. He just let his feet carry him wherever they might take him. 

Soon he reached the street and supported himself holding onto the wall separating Hankyungs garden from the street. 

His every step were following numerous sobs and cries. 

He couldn't believe himself how stupid he was. How dumb and naive. He knew about his feelings exactly. He always knew that Hankyung was in love with Jessica. And still he allowed himself to fall in love with Hankyung. He allowed himself to grow such strong and intense feelings that he blended out the true purpose of acting as a couple. He knew exactly that Hankyung wouldn't feel the same for him. And he knew that sooner or later, in that or another way he would get hurt.

And still, deep inside him he always hoped that somewhere inside of Hankyung there were also the same feelings for him. 

But he was wrong. Every smile, and laugh from Hankyung, every touch, every kiss was because Jessica was there. 

He felt sick as he remembered the happenings and out of nowhere vomited in front of his feet. He couldn't get Hankyungs words out of his head. And it made him feel sick. Slowly he stumbled forwards sometimes crashing against the wall sometimes falling over his own feet. 

But he stood up. 

And carried on walking. 

Please Heechul. Help me. You know I love her.                                                                   He knew. And now it hurt.

Even though he felt his body getting heavier with every step he took, he carried on.    

Every step was painful and cost him a lot of energy and soon he couldn't endure it anymore. He sunk to his knees feeling worn out. It has been too much. Disoriented he looked around only to find himself in front of Siwons house. 

With his last energy he crawled over to the door and rung the bell before his body sunk to the ground as Heechul fell unconscious. 

For the next few minutes it was silent. 

There were no cries. No sobs. No questions being shouted into the dark and late night. Nothing. 

Heechuls POV:

Jessica.

And there it was again. This incredible feeling of sadness that overcame me. I didn't feel like opening my eyes knowing that I would have to face Hankyung sooner or later if I'd wake up now. I'd rather not wake up at all, not after what happened. 

I felt as a tear ran down my temple. I didn't want to remember what happened. It just hurt too much. 

"Why isn't he picking up?" I suddenly heard a male voice that didn't belong to Hankyung. 

Was it James? No. He is still in China. 

Slowly I opened my eyes and just by looking at the ceiling I realized that I was not a Hankyungs home. I blinked a few times and started turning my aching head when I spotted Siwon standing at a window holding his phone at his ear. 

A slight smile formed on my lips realizing that I didn't have to face Hankyung. 

"Who are you calling?" I asked and was surprised by my hoarse voice. Immediately Siwon spun around and ran over to me. 

"Hyung! You're awake?" 

"Yeah... Who were you trying to call?" 

"Hankyung-Hyung." Before he finished saying his name I shot up and run over to the toilet to vomit. Don't. Don't say his name. Don't make me remember anything from yesterday. Please. Not those hurtful memories again.

"Don't call him."

"But-"

"I said don't call him!" I said and crawled back under the blankets as the tears started running without me being able to stop them.

I felt Siwons concerned look on me while he was silently sitting next to me. 

"Hyung why are you crying?" 

But I couldn't answer him. I don't know why I couldn't. I just couldn't get myself to tell him. Maybe it was because of his religion. Maybe I was afraid of losing him too. Of him turning away from me if he knew what I was feeling for his best friend. 

"Hyung what happened?" 

And again I couldn't answer. What should I tell him anyway? I just slept with your best friend while he was thinking about somebody else? Sounds great.

"You don't want to talk about it?"

"Yeah."

"But you will tell me one day right?"

"I don't know Siwon. Maybe if I get enough courage I'll tell you."

"That's fine."

"Siwon?"

"Hmm?"

"How did I get here?"

"Oh about that, you really shocked me.."

Flashback:

Heechul rang the bell and fell unconscious.

It was silent until a sleepy voice of a maid was heard through the door. "Who's there?" She asked and after she got no response she opened the door a crack wide just to see a figure lying on the floor. She let out a small scream before getting two other maids who helped her pull Heechul inside. At the same time a maid made her way up to Siwons room to wake him up. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He asked his maid looking at the clock. "It's not even 5 o'clock." 

"I-I'm sorry to wake you at this hour Young Master." 

"Is somebody dying or anything?" He asked glaring at his maid who just looked at her feel silently. 

"There's somebody dying??!" He sat up in his bed when he got no response of his maid. 

"N-No! B-But it's about one of Young Master Hankyungs maids. She's downstairs." 

One of his maids? Could it be  "Heechul?" He asked slipping into a hoodie and running downstairs. 

He nearly fell down the stairs when he saw the drenched figure of his friend lying on the floor surrounded by a few desolated maids. 

"What happened?" He screamed and knelt down next to Heechul touching his neck to check his pulse. He was choked when he found it very weak. Quickly he took of Heechul wig and threw it away before taking him into his arms bridal style and carrying him upstairs and placing him in a bed. 

"Get him some medicine and dress him in proper clothes while I get the thermo blanket." He shouted at them and ran out of the room.

End of Flashback

"I was really shocked when I saw you lying there on the floor. And-- Omo!! Heechul why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?" 

But I only shook my head and wiped away my tears. "No you didn't." I whispered and blocked out the painful memories. 

"I'm just glad I have a friend like you. Somebody who I can trust."

"You can always trust me." I heard him say.

"I know. And that's why I want you to promise me something."

"Sure."

"Don't call Hankyung to ask him what happened and if he asks about me just tell him that I'm here. But don't let him come near me."

I knew that Siwon'd be shocked to hear that but I wouldn't change my mind. 

Before he could even say a word I cut him off "I'll tell you someday ok?"

"Fine" 

End of Heechuls POV

For the next few minutes Heechul just kept on staring into nothing letting his thoughts run as well as his tears. Siwon was sitting next to the male not understanding what was going on inside of him. He was feeling so helpless and bad that he couldn't help his friend in whatever situation he was in. He would do whatever was needed to help him cheer up or to comfort him. 

Gently Siwon caressed Heechuls head and shoulders while whispering words of comfort. He hoped to at least lessen the pain a bit. 

He was surprised when Heechul suddenly moved away from his hand just to open the blanket. He tapped the place beside him and without hesitation Siwon laid down beside him. The older gave him a small smile that lasted for a split second before his expression turned blank again. Only the continuous tears that kept flowing down his face gave a hint about his inner feelings. 

Not standing to see his friend like this Siwon pulled Heechul into a warm hug. He felt how Heechul took a hold of his shirt and how his body moved under his slient sobs and irregular breaths.

It didn' take long until both of them fell asleep. 

Siwons POV: 

Two days passed by since Heechul appeared in front of my door. Since then he's been lying in his bed not moving out of it once unless he needed to use the toilet. He just kept staring at the ceiling while tears would run down his face. I would go up to his room constantly to make him eat something but he wouldn't even take a bit. He just kept on staring at the ceiling not even reacting to my words. I am very worried about him. 

"Heechul" I sat down next to him and shook his shoulder lightly to make him look at me. 

"Hmm?" He turned his head slowly. He was pale and had dark circles under his red eyes. 

"Please eat something. You can't starve yourself. It's not good for your body."

I expected him to just look at the ceiling again not giving me a response at all but instead he nodded his head "I will."

I felt relieved "Good. I'll go to school now ok? If you need something just call for a maid. They'll give you anything you need ok? I'll be back soon."

I was nearly out of his room when I suddenly heard his weak voice. "Did he call?"

I froze in my tracks and looked back before shaking my head. "No. He didn't."

I saw how his face showed disappointment for a split second. "Oh ok that's alright. Go now. We don't want you to be late for school." He said turning his back on me and I could bet that he was crying again. 

It has been a very long time I know. This update wasn't as great either. 

Merry belated Christmas. 

And Happy belated New Year. 

And please don't kill Hankyung. I still need him for my story. Q___Q 

Here have some confused Henry (╯°□°)╯︵ 

Yupp.. I don't know what to say anymore...

Thanks for reading

Oh oh wait!! I know!! 
I've been so stupid recently... I went through my notes again to rearrange the whole plot and timing when I started reading the really sad and emotional stuff and I started crying over it myself T____T I was like nooooo don't that's so saaad ;A;  And then I couldn't continue to write the chapter.... 

(That chapter is still unedited... I never edit my chapters even though I say I will, unless I need to change the plot or content... =__= I'm such a bad author.. I hope you bear with the mistakes and grammar errors..)