A/N: i've updated a LOT in the past few days pls go back several chapters

I stand up. Everyone’s eyes move from watching Jiyoon fondle Gayoon’s feet to staring at me.

“I’m leaving,” I say.

“What? Why?” Suzy asks.

“Is this too much for you to handle?” Sulli sneers, and her friends snicker.

“I don’t think Mihi ever had to do this in the middle-class suburb she’s from,” Joy drawls. “Poor girl. She can’t take this.”

“You know what?” I scoff. “You’re right. I can’t take this. I’m so sick of dealing with all of this- god, I don’t even care about any of this anymore. It’s pointless and it’s tiring.”

“What are you talking about?” Kai snaps.

I purse my lips together. The logical decision would have been to just leave. However, months of pent-up frustration- along with a lot of alcohol- spurs me to start speaking.

“The whole reason I did this was because I was sick of all of you looking down on me, like I was just some girl who wasn’t as good as you guys because I’m not swimming in money and I don’t care about appearances. I wanted to show you that I could be one of you, too.”

My gaze drifts to Sehun, who is simply looking at me, his expression blank. I curl my lip.

“But honestly? After spending time as a member of this whole scene, I learned that it’s not worth it at all. Yeah, sure, people like me now. But it’s not worth having to deal with the iness and the drama and the constant worries that I won’t be good enough. That I’m just a fraud.”

“The sad part is,” I continue, my eyes sweeping over Hyuna, Min, Fei, Jia, and JB, “is that I genuinely like some of you. But I doubt that if I went back to my normal self, you would want to continue being friends with me.”

I turn to Mark. “I’m sorry, Mark. I hate Sehun as much as you do, but at this point, I really don’t care about him. All my interactions with him have brought is a massive headache.”

Mark simply gapes back at me, his eyes wide.

“So yeah.” I clear my throat. “I’ll see you all later- as who I truly am. Peace out.”

And then I stride to the door and leave without looking back once.

I won’t deny that a part of me kind of regretted pulling that whole stunt at the party last night. My months of hard work to become popular, all gone, just like that.

But as I am eating Pocky in my room while watching a really interesting lecture on astrophysics, I can’t help but grin.

This is a million times better than going out shopping in designer stores I can never afford to buy clothes at, or picking at a salad while everyone around me gorges on deliciously cheesy pizzas, or getting drunk at a rave while everyone grinds to trap music. I savor the stillness and peace and solitude in my room. My phone hasn’t buzzed with a text in hours, which would have been quite unusual. No one is bothering me.

I’m back, baby.

Suddenly, a knock-knock! echoes through my room. Groaning, I pull myself off my bed and open the door.

“Hey, JB,” I say. “Uh... what’s up?”

“What’s up?” He groans, walking into my room and throwing himself down on my sofa. “Yo, you could’ve at least given me a heads up before you said all that at the party. Wait- do you hate me, or-,”

“That was what I wanted to ask you,” I laugh quietly. “You’re seriously my best friend here, dude. I hope you know that you are definitely not in the category of ‘people I’m tired of’. You are literally the realest guy here.”

JB slaps a hand over his head, grinning. “Aw, I’m flattered! You’re one of the coolest people I know, Mihi. Before I knew you, I never would’ve thought you were so awesome.”

“Why, because I looked like a geek?” I tease.

“No! Because we never talked.”

“True, true. I thought you were just another preppy jock.”

“Don’t judge a book, I guess.” JB grabs a handful of gummy worms from my dresser and shoves them in his mouth. “Anyway, I just wanted to see if you were doing okay. I didn’t see you at breakfast or lunch today.”

“Yeah, I was kind of keeping a low profile. Let me guess: I’m the talk of the school right now.”

“Well... yeah. But it’s okay. It’ll all blow down in a little bit.”

“I assume Suzy and them are acting like they’re not associated with me at all?”

JB uncomfortably scratches his head. “They- they’re just a little surprised. Give them time. They’ll come back.”

“Doubt it.”

“Mihi! They’re our friends.”

I let out a bark of laughter. “Really? Because sometimes, it just seemed like they were using me to get revenge on Sehun.”

“That’s not true.”

“Whatever.” I sigh. “I could care less. I have you and my gummy worms. That’s all I need. Honestly, JB... I really do prefer keeping to myself. These past few months have been so stifling, you know?”

He gives me a sad smile. “I could tell. It always seemed like you were forcing yourself, and you felt out of place. It made me feel kind of guilty.”

“Why did you feel guilty? It was my decision.” I chuckle. “Aww, JB. You’re such a sweet little sugar cookie.”

JB snorts. “I’m truly touched. Now, as delicious as candy is, you need to eat something solid. Come to dinner, okay?”

“Ugh. Do I have to?”

“Unless you want to die of malnutrition, yes.”

“Fine.”

When I step into the cafeteria, everyone goes dead silent.

This is like a repeat of the day I walked into breakfast, after Suzy, Fei, Jia, and Min had given me a full transformation. The only difference is that this time, I look rather normal. My appearance retains a few vestiges of my previous looks: my hair is still brunette and shiny, I did put on some eyeliner, and my skin is still smooth and clear. But I chose to forgo my hour-long contouring and hair straightening and primping rituals.

I look fine. I don’t know why I ever thought I was some incredibly unattractive girl who had to go through an ugly duckling transformation to turn herself beautiful. That notion is so demeaning to myself. My mind flashes back to the morning of my cafeteria debut, when Jia pulled me towards her and whispered in my ear.

Mihi, you need to walk in there with your face on. None of that slouching or walking with your head down. Stand straight and act confident. That’s the most important thing.

So I do just that.

Grinning, I pick up a plate and proceed to fill it with all the foods I couldn’t eat before. Garlic focaccia, macaroni and cheese, a baked potato, just for the hell of it. When the lunch lady asks me if I want a slice of strawberry cheesecake, I nod enthusiastically.

After sneaking a peek at my old table- Mark, Suzy, and everyone else (except for JB, who is missing) is either glaring at me or pointedly looking down at their food- I nonchalantly stroll to an empty table and take a seat.

“There you are,” a voice says behind me. JB pulls up a chair and sits down next to me. “I was afraid I’d have to drag you out of your room.”

“Why would I miss the opportunity to have carbs for the first time in forever?” I say. “Look. It’s a potato! With butter and cheese!”

“Wow, really?” JB gasps. “I thought it was an eggplant!”

“Shut up,” I laugh, digging into my food. “Mmmm, oh my god, this is so freaking good.”

“It looks good,” a voice says next to me, and I look up. Hyuna has thrown her bag down in the seat next to mine. She proceeds to take her fork and steal a bite of my macaroni and cheese.

“What? It’s good,” she says when she sees me and JB’s astonished looks.

“Hyuna,” I whisper.

She smirks. “You don’t think I could just leave my old drinking buddy, do you? Especially when I understand what she’s so frustrated about.”

“Wait, what-,”

“Of course I get it.” Hyuna sighs. “I’m sick of it all, too. This school’s full of superficial little kids who can’t think past the new Gucci handbag line. Putting up a whole new facade does get rather tiring, doesn’t it? Although you couldn’t last 5 months,” she teases, elbowing me in the side. “I’ve had to do this for years.”

“Oh, Hyuna.” I give her a big hug. “That’s so freaking sweet.”

“Stop! You’re messing up my hair!”

“Sorry, sorry!”

Suddenly, someone else comes up to our table.

“Hey.” Jung Hoseok coughs. “Mind if I sit with you guys?”

I blink. “Not at all.”