Kim Yumi Pov

The sun goes down and shinning brightly through my window. .

As always I’ve woken up before the dawn broke this world. .

I have to prepared everything for him. .  someone I really love

Someone who is sleeping under his blanket now

Someone I really take care of

I prepare everything, his shoes, his bag, his uniform and his breakfast

I’ve done everything at 6 except for his breakfast. .

I always make his breakfast in the last, I wanna give him a food fresh from my pan. .

“Noona. . What time is it?”  he ask me as always

“ Now is 6 am. Palli. .  Let’s take a bath and prepare yourself to go to school. I don’t wanna see my handsome dongsaeng be a lazzy guy. Kajja” I cherish his hair trying to wake him up

“Nee noona” he answer me while smilling

Seeing him grow up is the most amazing thing in the world for me.

Since I was 10 years old I’d lived with my dongsaeng. .

Just with him

He was 5 years old that time

Our parents left us in the road. I did not know the reason.

But my mom gave a letter before they left us. She said that my parents will go to the dangerous place so they left us just like that. . She said that They would come back to us. . but . .  More than 11 years I was waiting for them to be back. But they never completed their promis. Since that day I tried to make some money for me and my little brother.

Yes . .   That guy is my little brother. .

KIM YUGYEOM. .

The name I really wanna take care of for the rest of my life

He is a star for me when I lost in the darkest night

I’ll do anything to make him happy. .

He’s my guy. .  my everything

I love him more than you can imagine

Kim Yugyeom Pov

“ Now is 6 am. Palli. .  Let’s take a bath and prepare yourself to go to school. I don’t wanna see my handsome dongsaeng be a lazzy guy. Kajja”

“Nee noona”

“Every morning you always wake me up with that smooth way. I just try being the best for a person I really honor. I wanna be the one who can make her proud of. Thank you noona. . I really love you

You’re thin. . you’re small. .  but for me you’re the strongest person ever

Sometimes I’m sad while I’m thinking about our fate

But I can’t d anything except be the best in everything I do

That’s just for you noona. .Thank you” I said it in the deep of my heart wishing noona never knew what I’m feeling.

I come in to bath room. .

As always I take a bath without bring a towel and a uniform. .

I know that I forget something, but I never tried to remember what I forget and trying to get it.

I always let noona to call me and give me a towel and my uniform.

In the bath room. .

“one two three. . “ I count down in my heart

“Yugyeomaaa. .  You forget your towel and your uniform. Open the door, I bring those stuff for you” Noona screams while knocking my door

“BINGO. . I  got you noona.”

“Ne noona. .  Wait a minute”

“Why do you always forget to bring your towel when you take a bath?” Noona complains me

“that’s alright as long as noona with me, I will always get my towel” I answer her while teasing her

“Yugyeoma. .  hmm. . ahhh dwaesseo. .  here your towel and your uniform. Prepare yourself properly. Arrasseo??” Noona looks wanna say something but she does not do that

“Arrasseo noona. .  mianhaeyo”

“Ashh. .  Gwaenchana. .  I love to take care of you.” She cherish my hair and smile

“Noona saranghaeyo. . “ I hug her

“Nadoo Yugyeomma. .  jaaa. .  kajja. . let’s take a bath. It has been 6.30 am, I don’t wanna know you late to go to school”

“Arrasseo. . “

I come in to bathroom. .  and prepare myself . .

Kim Yumi Pov

Yugyeomma. .

You have to try being a man who always take care of your self

I love you more than yo can imagine

Author Pov

At 7am. .  Yougyeom has been ready to go to school

As always, Yumi takes him to go to school then she will go back home to do some work

Kim yumi is a freelance writer who does her job at home. So she can do her home work while she does her job.

Everyday she writes some articles for her job. But she always has a time to cook a meal right before Yugyeom gets home from his school.

Yumi really love her little brother.

If she can, she wanna ask to live with him forever.

To day, after she cooks a lunch for Yugyeom  she decides to go

“Yugyeomma. .  this is a meal for your lunch. Mianhae. .  noona has to go for a while. I wish you can enjoy your lunch without me. Love you :* “ ~ Noona

She writes that notes in a paper and put it on Yugyeom’s lunch box. .

She takes her car and go

Yugyeom Pov

“Noonaa. . . na jibe  wasseoyo. .” I scream as usual

But there is no one answer me. .

“noona . .  . .eo. . She has cooked for me.” I found a lunch for me and there’s a note there

“Yugyeomma. .  this is a meal for your lunch. Mianhae. .  noona has to go for a while. I wish you can enjoy your lunch without me. Love you :* “ ~ Noona

“ ahhh. .  geurae. . Noona I’ll enjoy it.”

After I wash my body and change my uniform, I eat all of lunch that noona had made for me. Noona is the best chef that I ever know. She always can make a delicious meal for me.

I try to push away my loneliness. I turn on my tv and look for a great TV Show that can acompany me. But I cant find it. .

Even just for a while I really miss Yumi nooa

“I cant take it any longer.  I have to call her and ask her to come home as fast af possible”

I take my phone and try to call Yumi noona

Ttuuttt… ttuuttt…ttuuttt

“nee yeobeoseyoo. . Wae yugyeoma?”

“noona eodisseo? “

“ahh. .  I’m meeting with my boss. Wae? Meokkeosseo?” Yumi noona sounds worry abut me and I like it

“I’ve eat all of you’ve made for me. Noonaa. . “ I say cutely

“waeyo? “

“Palli wa. . Bogoshipo. . I’m lonely here alone”

“Ahh mwoya. .  geurae geurae. . I’ll be back soon. Do you wanna something to eat?” Noona always aske me what I want when she will go home after she goes somewhere

“Aniii. .  I just want you to be here. . at home”

“aigooo. .  geurae. .  jogeuman gidaryoo nae saranghaneun dongsaeng ”

“neee. .  noona anyeonggg”

“Anyyeongg yugyeomma”

Aaaahhh Noona will be at home soon, so I’ll not be lonely anymore.

Kim Yumi Pov

“Palli wa. . Bogoshipo. . I’m lonely here alone”

“Ahh mwoya. .  geurae geurae. . I’ll be back soon. Do you wanna something to eat?” Noona always aske me what I want when she will go home after she goes somewhere

“Aniii. .  I just want you to be here. . at home”

“aigooo. .  geurae. .  jogeuman gidaryoo nae saranghaneun dongsaeng ”

“neee. .  noona anyeonggg”

“Anyyeongg yugyeomma”

He hang up his phone.

“He is always like that. I’m really worry about him. What if  someday I leave him alone.

What if someday I cant be with him anymore.

What will he do? What will happened to him?

Gooddd. . give me a chance to always with him so I can take care of him

So I can be his friend everytime he feels lonely.

Sorry for asking something impossible, but I’m begging you my lord I don’t wanna leave him even for a while

I’m begging you”

I pray while I see Yugyeom’s face on my phone screen

“Yumi-ssi. . Yumi-ssi. . Are you alright?” dr. Park tries to make me come to my sense

“a. .  ye. . ye  .  yes I’m alright. Sorry my dongsaeng suddenly called me. . dr park  what we were talking about?”

“Aniimida. .  we were talking about your condition. I prefer you to take a chemo before it’s getting bigger and change your imune. I don’t wanna something worse happen to you”

“I’ll do anything dr. park.”

“Oke. . We will take a chemo the day after tomorrow cause your cancer spreads faster than you can imagine”

“Yes doc.. So . . Could I go hme now? My little brother alone at home, Im worry about him”

“yes sure. .  we’re done for to day. See you in two days”

“Ne doc. . annyeonghigyeseyo. .”

“nee. . “

In the car. .

Yes. .  I have a cancer 4^th stadium. . I never told Yugyeom about my condition.

I knew my cancer after it had been bigger and sprean almost in all of my body’s cell

Everyday I’m getting thinner

Yougyeom always aks me why I’m getting thinner day by day

I always say that I’m doing a diet so I can be more beautiful

And he believed me

He never knew that his noona is being sick

He never knew that his noona is almost done

He never knew

Without I know my tears come down from my eyes. .

Everytime I think about this fate, I’m getting so sick

I feel like I can’t tell him my condition

I’m not ready to leave him alone

He’s so. .

Ahhh I really love him

I cry harder and harder. .

In this long road I feel like in my shoulders there is a burden that I cant take it anymore

Suddenly my head turns around and feel like something strange happens to my body

I feel like something come out from my nose

I see in the mirror . .

Yehh bingo. .

A blood come ot from my nose. .

I’m done I think. .

I stop my car for a while and trying to clean my blood in my nose. .

I try to clean I properly or yugyeom will ask me something sharper than before

I’ve cleaned it..  and I continue my way

Yugyeom Pov

Tookkk. .  tookkk. .

“That’s noona. .  “

I run to open the door

I really miss her. .  She just left me for 5 hours but I’ve already miss her so much

“Noona. . “ I hug her “I miss you”

“Mwoya. .  I just left you for 5 hours and you miss me?? omo omo. . Miss you my stupid brother” noona hugs me while cherish my back

“Yugyeomma. . “ noona says with a low tone voice

“nee noona . .  waeyo?”

“Let’s sit here” Noona asks me to sit beside her

“Yugyeomma. .  If oneday noona leaves you for a long time. What will you do?” Her voice seems like tremble

“mwoyaa. .  what kind of that question. .  noona will never left me, right?”

“anii. .  keunyang. . answer me please. .  I wanna know your answer” Noona begs me to answer her

“If oneday noona has to leave me alone for a long time, I will be here waiting for you to be back” I lean my head on her shoulder

“ahhh geuraeyo??. . But what if I will never been back? What will you do?” now her tremble voice sounds real

“Noona. .  wae geurae? Why suddenly you ask me that question?” I try to look in to her eyes, but she tries to look at another direction

“anii . .  dwaesseo. .  forget it. .  I just wanna make some jokes about that. Don’t take it in yor mind.” She tries to relax and move her body.

“Anii noona. .  that’s not fun . . I don’t like that jokes. That sounds scaring and I think I cant face it if that thing happens to me”

“Yugyeoma. .ahh dwaesseo. .  forget it. Mianhaeyo, I will never do that jokes again. Come in, I will give you a hug” She tries to comfort me from that  scared story

“noona. .  please always with me. Please never leave me. . I love you” I say it while she hugs me in her arm

“ahh arrasseo. .  mianhae yugyeomma”

“nee noona. . nado mianhae”

“jaa. .  I wanna sleep with you tonight. Could I?” Noona never ask me to sleep with her, but why now she asks me?

“mwooo?? Aniiieyoo. .  I love you but If I have to sleep with you I refuse all of your wish.”

“Ahhh yugyeomma. .  jeballl”

“Aniii noonaa. .  I go to my bed first. .  anyyeong..  jaljayooo noonnanimmm”

I run and leave her in a living room

I go to bed and try to comfort my mind after all of noona said

Yumi Pov

“mwooo?? Aniiieyoo. .  I love you but If I have to sleep with you I refuse all of your wish.”

“Ahhh yugyeomma. .  jeballl”

“Aniii noonaa. .  I go to my bed first. .  anyyeong..  jaljayooo noonnanimmm”

“Yugyeomaaa. .  Saranghae. .

I’ll miss you if oneday I’m not with you anymore” I say it lower amy be I whisper

I walk to my bed. . 

My head is getting heavier. .

I come in to my bed

I take my phone and try to send dr. park a message

“to : dr. Park

Doc. .  Now my head is getting heavier . .

I don’t know what should I do

I just try to talk to yu abot my condition

I feel like I almost done

Now. .  my nose are bleeding

I think I can’t make it

That chemo never safe me

Just forget about it wisanim. .

Now something that you have to is pray for me

And . .

Could I ask you something?

If oneday I have to go, please take care of my little brother.

He’s little bit stupid but he’s kind person

He will do everything you ask him for

Please take care of him.

I beg you

Annyeonghigyeseyo dr. Park”

I think I cant take it anymore. .

This letter I have to send to his room. .

I walk to Yugyeom’s room, slowly

I don’t have any energy to walk

But I try my best to chase his room

Right after Yugyeom’s room, I open the door

I see him sleeping in the dark .

I silently come in and put the letter on his desk

I come to him and kiss his forehead. .

“I love you yougyeomma. . “

“Mianhae. .  I have to go this way. I never tell you about my condition. I love you”

I kiss his forehead again and I wanna go. .  but he gets my arm and don’t let me go. .

Suddenly I stop

“noona. .  please don’t go. I wanna you to be here with me forever”

“I will be with you forever  yugyeomaa.” I try to not crying but I fail. I cry harder in this dark room. Silently I cry

I turn around, and I see Yugyeom still sleeps . . That makes me more calm but I still can not stop crying

So I decide to sleep beside him. . I take a chair and sleep beside him. .

“jaljayoo Yugyeomma. .  I wish I can open my eyes and see your beautiful smile tomoroow”

I whisper my pray. .

Yugyeom Pov

“I love you yougyeomma. . “

“Mianhae. .  I have to go this way. I never tell you about my condition. I love you”

 “noona. .  please don’t go. I wanna you to be here with me forever”

“I will be with you forever yugyeomaa.”

I can hear everything you said noona. .  What happen to you?

Where will you go?

Why you did it?

When I saw her face in a deep sleep, I suddenly cry

I can’t imagine my life without her

I silently move and bring her to go to my bed

Now I’m sleeping in a chair that noona took before

I give her a balnket

I take care of her. .

Silently I’m still crying for something I don’t know

I know noona gave me a letter

I try to open it and start to read it

I open slowly, I try to hold my tears

Yugyeommmaaaa anyyeonggg. .

When you open this letter I’m right beside you

Yugyeommaa. .  mianhae. .

I never told you that I have a serious illness . .

I just don’t make you said

Do you know why I always ask you to remember bring your towel and yur uniform before you take a bath?

Yes. .  because I know there will be a day that there’s no one give you those stuff when you forget to bring it

Do you know why I went out for 5 hours a day in this week?

Yes. .  because I wanna you to be usually without me for a long time

Yugyeomma. .  the day comes

I cant take it anymore. .

My body is getting weaker ad weaker

You always see me as a strong noona

Yes. .  I am. .

I did it for you

Yugyeomma. .  I’ve written all of the things that you have to prepare when you will go to school

I also write all of recipe for all of your favorite meal so you still can enjoy your favorite meal even when I’m not with you anymore

Yugyeomma. .  do you know how much I love you?

I can’t hold my tears anymore. .  I cry. .

“noonnnaaa. .  “

I continue to read this letter while I hold noona’s hands

Yugyeommaaa saranghae. .

Promise me that you’ll be a strong man

Promise me to always smile for me

I  Love you

I realize that the last part of this letter

 Try to wakes noona up

“noona. .  Ireonayoo. . “

I don’t get any answer from a person before my eyes

“Noona. .  Ireonayoo. .  noonnaaa”

I shake her body harder

But I stll get the answer. .

“nooonnnnaaaaa. .  “ I start to cry. .

“Yakk. . yugyeommama“ Noona answers me in a low voice

“Noonaa. .  Mianhaeyoo. .  jeballl.  .please don’t leave me” I dry harder in her arms

“Yugyeommma. .  Don’t y promise me to always smile for me? Do you forget what you’ve read?”

“Anieyo. .  noonna. . “

“So please smile”

I force my lips to smile. . I still can’t stop crying

“ahh. .  I lke you when you smile. Yugyeoma . . From now on please don’t get hurt

Cause now there’s no me who used to using my hand to take care of you

From now on please don’t feel lonely

Cause even tho I’m not by your side but I’ll always be in your heart

Love you” Noona try to hug me

I come close to her. .  I wanna her to hug me forever

“ne noona. .  I love you too”

“Kajja. .  come here with noona. .  I wanna sleep with you”

I come to her and sleep beside her

“Noona would you sing to me before I go to sleep?”

“Of course. . I’s forever Love from Jabeum GOT7. Do you like that song?”

“Yes. .  I like it noona. . Please sing it for me”

“Nee arasseoo my lovely”

I’m looking at you but I can’t reach you

So I’m only drawing out my self

My love that I couldn’t tell you on the night you shed the tears

I’ll tell you now

The first thng I wanna tell you

Don’t hurt anymore

When you fall, I’ll be the first to hold out my hand

The second thing I wanna tell you

Don’t cry by your self

I’ll protect your bright smile

I’m forever in your heart

“I sleep while I lisent to noona’s voice. But I also silently cry knowing the lyrics that she sings for me. It sounds like she says those lyrics for me. I love you Noona. I will listen to your advice that you say through this song. I wish tomorrow I w’ll meet your eyes again”

I need to leave you

I silently crying

I’m erasing my heart

On a night filled with memmories

I have to say Good Bye, words that I don’t wanna say

The first thing that I wanna tell you

Don’t hurt anymore

When you fall, I can't give you my hand anymore

The second thing I wanna tell you

Don’t cry by your self

Even if I’m not by your side

Don’t forget me

I’m forever in your heart

“After hardly to sing, noona keeps silent. There’s no voice from anymore. I try to look at her face. .  that’s so calm and peace. .  may be God picks her up”

Noonaa. .

I’ll complete my promise

I’ll do what you’ve asked me for

Noonaa. .

I never had someone in this world but you

You’ll always live in here. .

Deep inside my heart

Now you can watch over me from a far away

I’m fine with it

Don’t for get me noonaa. .

Don’t forget that I’ll always love you. .

Thank you for take care of me

All my time with you was amazing

You’re my best noona ever. .

I love you noona. .

I just can be with you till now

After I go from this place, you’ll belong with God.

And our lord will take care you the way you take care of me

Noonnnaaa. .  anyyeongg. .

I’ll live well for you. .

Love you