Scrolling through the rack of classic hits; with my long skinny fingers all I could think of now was how lonely this entire fall was going to be. I needed music- my best friend to be there with me and I needed to find the perfect album to hide my loneliness.

“Ed Sheeran” – Stopping at a specific album; I pulled out the cd from the old rack. I blew off the seamless dust, walking to the room to listen to the music. I loved that room; especially the corner where nobody could see me- I hated it when people stared at me.

Walking up to the corner of the room with her head down, I saw someone standing at ‘my spot’. Trailing up the long legs, I finally got to see the owner of the destroyed black denim jeans.

Oh boy, he was hella cute. With his long pair of legs, well-built body and a y hipster undercut hairstyle. That handsome guy had his eyes closed feeling the loud rock music with the large headphones fitted perfectly over his head.

He looked cool, like the popular guys in school. I’m sure he had girls flocking around him and I’m extra sure that he was one of them who ignored people like me; like I was invisible.

I wanted to ask him to move to get my turn to use the CD player but I was too embarrassed. What would he think of me if I actually opened my mouth to speak to him?

Waiting for a good three minutes, it seemed that he wasn’t going to move. I was tired of waiting therefore I decided to just buy the CD.

Walking out of the store, I couldn’t help but to turn back to take a look at the handsome guy but he was nowhere to be found. What a waste, I knew that I’m neither confident nor beautiful enough to approach him- but he was one beautiful looking boy.

***

Walking down the lonely pavement that was already littered with a fair amount of autumn leaves- I looked up at the bright starry sky admiring how ‘A Thousand Years’ that I was listening blended perfectly with the surroundings.

Fall was officially starting tomorrow morning, I could already smell the earthy, musty smell of falling leaves and the sweet smell of hay.

I loved autumn, it allowed me to wonder the streets alone; admiring nature’s gift. Nobody could judge me for being alone.

For the next six weeks of fall, I wouldn’t have to meet anybody from school. I wouldn’t have to be made fun off, I wouldn’t have to be sitting at the cold corner of the classroom and most importantly I didn’t have to communicate with people in forms of group projects.

It was just going to be me, my music and my book for the entire six weeks and the mere thought of it was blissful.

According to everyone around me I Im Yoona, was just a weird introvert that never really mattered but not much people knew that I had social anxiety disorder. I never had the will to go on with life; I was scared of everything. I’m terrified of talking to people, answering the phone, being watched while doing anything at all; I was even scared of eye contact.

You would usually see me walking around alone- looking down with my headset in my ears. My little heaven was my bed room; I do all kinds of things in my room. I’m a normal nine-teen year old inside the four walls of my room.

I loved dancing, singing- hell I don’t just sing and dance I freaking perform to my endless stacks of soft toys with my bed as the grand stage. I loved indulging in girly stuff like face packs and colorless nail-polish and I absolutely had a boyish side to me too. I enjoyed playing street fighter and am a diehard fan of ice-hockey. But I just wasn’t daring enough to share my interests with anyone other than my toys.

But that was just me, I wasn’t happy with myself but I’ve gotten used to it.

***

“Yoona? Where are you going honey?”

“The park”- this was the fifteenth time my mother had asked me this question and I am starting to get a tad bit annoyed now.

“With?”

“With my self umma.”

Who else would I go out with, I didn’t have much friends and my best friend Seungi wasn’t in the country anymore we were rarely in contact.

Plunging in my headsets and tying up my hair into a bun with a simple hair stick. I hugged my coat too myself and ran out to get to the park not too far from my house. That park was my everything, it was where I used to play around when I was much younger.

Sitting down on the wooden bench, all I could think of was to finish up the chapter I couldn’t last night. I was enjoying my romantic fic when I felt the bench sink a little, I would usually get anxious at times like such but I was too engrossed in the book- I couldn’t care less.

Then it happened all of the sudden, I was flipping the pages when I felt my hair get undone and drop till my lower back. Thinking that the hair stick had finally given way I turned to find the stick on the floor but-

“Hi”- there he was sitting beside me, maybe a little too close for comfort. Waving my orange hair stick in his hand, he gave me a really boyish smile- and I’m not going to lie it was dorky yet cute.

 “D…di..did You?”- I hated talking to strangers, especially good looking ones. Stopping my words short I grabbed my hair stick and just fled.

“Hey, I just wanted to talk?!”

He shouted at my retreating figure and I heard him running after me for a few good seconds but stopped as soon as he realized that I really wasn’t keen to talk.

I don’t even know why I was running but I couldn’t just stop and turn back that would be way more embarrassing. That’s it he was going to think that I’m a weirdo just like everybody else did.

***

The next day I found myself going back to the same place, maybe it was my inner consciousness that wanted to check if he had come back. But I knew that he wouldn’t especially after yesterday’s encounter but I just wanted to know. Sneaking behind a big tree, I inched out to see if that tall guy was anywhere near the bench; I wanted to see him but I definitely didn’t want him to know that.

“Who are you hiding from?”

The sudden low voice from the back made me yelp and hold my fast beating heart. Turning around I saw the guy right behind me totally oblivious of my anxiety.

Now that I had a closer view of him, I realized how handsome he truly was. He had big brown eyes, a high-bridged nose and the most perfect lips. He was a ‘regulation hottie’ as they would usually say.

I was about to run away like the coward I originally was- when there was a shocking turn of events. Without much hesitation he aimed for my pink hair stick pulling it out of the bun- giving my hair freedom.

Frightened and annoyed I tried to safe my hair stick from his clutches but he held it high above his head- somewhere I couldn’t possibly reach.

My hair was taking flight with the help of the autumn wind and I could feel my eyes getting watery. Did he really had to bully to this extend? Was I just an entertainment for him to laugh at?

I was 200% sure that somewhere around the corner- his cool friends were going to be laughing at my stupidity- getting my hair stick was probably part of a stupid bet being played by them.

It was my mistake, I shouldn’t have come back and made myself a clown. I didn’t realize that tears were already rolling down my cheeks- stepping a few steps back I was about to just walk away when I was blocked by his large figure again.

“I..i was just playing, please don’t cry”

There he stood right in front of me with an apologetic expression; I couldn’t tell if he was acting or really being sincere. I’m used to think that nobody other than my parents would ever be truthful to me.

“I’m Choi Minho and you are?”- I clearly saw him stuffing my hair stick into the back pocket of his jeans before taking my hands for a shake.

“Y..Yoona, Im Yoona”

My voice came out soft and shaky, so much that he had to bend down a little to catch what I was saying.

“My hair sti-”; I didn’t get to finish my sentence.

“I feel like we are going to be great friends”

He threw me a beautiful smile that warmed my insides, I couldn’t talk anything more- not that I wanted to anyway. And the story of my hair stick got forgotten as he started a totally one-sided conversation.

I just nodded my head and ‘umm-ed’ the entire time and he seemed to be contented with it. Minho had the most boyish laugh and he actually got me laughing a little. He made me shocked of my own ability to make friends this easily- making friends was never my forte but I don’t know I just kind of clicked with him for some reason.

***

Looking at her tiny smiles and muffled giggles- I just wanted to keep making her smile like that for a very long time. It has been two weeks since we had been ‘hanging out’ and she hasn’t spoken longer than two sentences to me and had now only learnt to have eye contact with me while speaking.

She was a really quiet girl, I could clearly see her anxiety in crowded places and was going to be right next to her and protect her. I was going to get her out of her tiny world and show her the big world- the world that wasn’t as bad as she has been thinking.

We’ve been texting each other when we were back at home, but her replies were always the same ‘yes-no-okay-thanks-bye’; nothing else. Didn’t she feel anything for me?

 “When are you going to confess?”

My brother Kibum sat on the bed rudely rampaging through my items in the box. The box that held everything that represented My Yoona.

“Ed Sheeran albums, Ellie Goulding albums, Yiruma albums, hair sticks, weird books. Dude what the hell. That’s a little too stalker(ish) don’t you think so?”

Frowning at my bothersome brother’s rants, I took up the Yiruma album- it reminded me of the first time I saw her.

It was a rare rainy summer day and I was bored of all the stupid summer parties and needed a break from them.  Walking into an old CD shop, I browsed through the racks when I saw a pair of beautiful eyes via the small spaces between the shelves.

Those pair of beautiful brown eyes weren't looking at me; they were looking at the CD. I followed them and I saw a tiny girl. She was so tiny compared to me; she looked adorable as she placed the headphone over her head- they were huge over her tiny head.

With her eyes closed she was indulging in the music, a small smile stretched on her lips. She had the most luscious and beautiful curly brown hair that flowed till her belly button. She had features of a puppy they were so soft- she wasn’t wearing a speck of makeup but she was radiating with freshness and innocence.

She was beautiful and I couldn’t get her out of my thoughts no matter how hard I tried.

There were days that I just followed her around and she was oblivious to it. She always had her head flung down and music distracting her ears. I found out about her social anxiety the day I tried to talk to her.

And I had decided that I wanted to be there to help her. I wanted to be a friend that she could trust and talk to. I wanted her to tell me all her problems and I wanted to be the one standing next to her as she shoot down her problems one by one. The mission now was to make my Yoona to realize how beautiful she truly was.

“I’ll confess”

“Really?”- my brother’s mouth went wide when he finally heard those words from me.

“I’ll confess the very next second, when she comes running into my arms”

“And when will that be?”- Kibum was annoyed again I could tell, but who cares right?

“One day~ and I’m willing to wait”

To be continued