*

Taeyeon's Apartment

8:12 PM

With trembling hands, Kim Taeyeon entered her house. She was two hours late for her supposed date night with Byun Baekhyun. She found him sitting quietly on her couch, playing with his cellphone. The moment he saw her, he stood up and let go of his phone.

“Noona...”

“Hi,” Taeyeon greeted coldly, approaching her living room. “Have you eaten?”

“No. I was waiting for you.”

“I'll fix you something...” she replied, then proceeding to the kitchen.

Baekhyun followed her right away. She was glad that the food preparation kept her busy, or she'd have to face the boy after a week of no-contact. They still haven't discussed what happened the night they reached second base. The boy made all sorts of attempts to reach out, to talk, but Taeyeon deliberately avoided him. She wasn't ready to talk, because she wasn't ready to hurt him.

“Noona, are we okay?” the young man desperately asked, standing behind her while she heated the pan on the stove. Pretty soon, Baekhyun's questions became more and more inescapable.

“What happened that night? Why did you leave? I'm sorry if you felt violated, I didn't mean it. Noona, please... say something...”

*

Hilton Hotel

10:15 PM

Two hours after he sent Kim Taeyeon home, Kwon Jiyong was now inside a suite in Hilton Hotel. He was seated by the small dining table, his ex-girlfriend across him. Even if he was late, Audrie Kiko Daniel patiently waited. The reason why it took Jiyong long to reach her was because he opted to chase Taeyeon after she unloaded his car.

However, his chase ended in vain.

“So what is it going to be?” challenged Audrie, staring at Jiyong with heavy eyes. She had been crying when the hours passed and he didn't come.

Jiyong stayed silent. In fact, he hasn't spoken since he stepped foot on her hotel room. The moment he arrived, she already welcomed him with demands of reconciliation. She wasn't begging for them to go back together, but rather required it, just like she demanded him to see each other now. Jiyong avoided her all week, and did not entertain her invites.

He wanted to follow Taeyeon's advice about reconciling with Audrie. “If you love her, why wouldn't you?”

But Jiyong has reached the point in their relationship when his love wasn't enough. If it was, they wouldn't break again and reconcile again, over and over. If his love was enough, he would have already ran to Audrie the moment she texted him the same night he and Taeyeon camped and sleeped together.

“Until the end, I'm still the one up in the air, hanging on the thinnest thread to save myself,” Jiyong coldly muttered. He chuckled bitterly and shook his head.

“It's now or never Jiyong.”

Still smirking darkly, Jiyong asked sardonically, “Is it because of my girlfriend? Did you finally realize that another woman could enter my heart? That's why now that you're seeing me happy with someone else, you suddenly want me back.”

Audrie just tested him with another icy stare. The silence prevailed, and neither said any more. Jiyong didn't want to say words that could just hurt the woman he loved for six years.

“Break up with that woman and come back to me. I'm asking you for the last time, Kwon Jiyong. What is it going to be?”

*

Taeyeon's Apartment

8:20 PM

Taeyeon and Baekhyun have sat on the kitchen counter bar. He asked her to stop cooking as he wasn't hungry. He only wanted to talk. Taeyeon couldn't avoid the moment anymore, and so she entertained his request.

“I'm not ready for that Baek,” Taeyeon softly began, holding the young man's hand.

“Of course. I understand,” Baekhyun answered, his shoulders drooping. The young man was near tears, because Kim Taeyeon was being awfully distant and cold.

“I really wanted to give you myself, I hope you know that Baek.”

“And I wanted to give you myself too,” Baekhyun exclaimed, desperate, and he even held Taeyeon's hand tightly. “I still do!”

“...but we can't always do what we want. I won't ever be ready for that step in a relationship. Not until marriage.”

“M-marriage?” stuttered Baekhyun, suddenly loosening his grip on Taeyeon's hand.

Taeyeon sighed. The moment has finally come. That moment when she would be her most honest towards a lover, and would only end up hurting the other. She had done this five times in the past, and all for the same reasons.

“Every time that intimate moment came in my relationships, I always evaluated myself. I always asked if I really saw myself giving my body and soul to this person. The answers were always a no. And so I broke up with Kangin, Junsu, Leeteuk, Siwon, and Junhyung.”

Taeyeon began to tear up. She was lo