Note:

Hi!

It's been awhile. I'm sorry for being a boring adult human being who's enslaving herself to work. Haha. Also, I forgot my aff password. I thank my old self for writing my passwords on a notebook. Perhaps, signs of aging.

Here's an update. Warning: it would make you cringe like it does to me while writing this but it's better to be updating happy shots after being missing in action for awhile right? Might update another story. Just literally wrote this today. So this is going to be light and random. 

-nerd
 

I Want To Convey Love

Taeyeon’s POV

“Damn, it’s beautiful.” says I as I am sitting nearby the body of water.

The sun is almost setting. Looking at it, there is always beauty that it is holding. A beauty that may meant that another day is coming to an end and it is time to rest. A beauty that has a depth of sadness. A beauty that I have to wait for another day just to see again.

That touch of reddish orange, that fire that almost out as it hides within the clouds. The coolness of the air. The sounds of the water. The half of its reflection is smiling through the sea. A smile that is hinting to fade in pitch black as time goes on.

I wish I could say that I am in love with everything around me.

Just what is that feeling?

I wish I knew, but I do not know how to love.

Growing up, parting has been a huge part of my life.

Losing someone, my grandfather at the age of twelve but not knowing how to be sentimental about it because I was too young to understand the pain of not seeing someone important again. Moving out at the age of thirteen, losing communication with my childhood friends and moving in to another unfamiliar town. My parents said it was meant to heal what was broken. But I did not understand the matter of hearts. I do not know if I’ll ever understand. Graduating college, breaking promises and parting with boys I dated out of trend. The peer pressure and the road to adulthood was hard, but i managed to get there. Having my first job, learned a thing or two about it and quit when times get rough for I did not know what I want or maybe I know but just do not have the guts to do it.

It feels as if the sunset is parting with me. Sometimes, it makes me want to cry but I do not know what for are these tears. Maybe, I feel alone. Maybe I need someone.

I just know that I want to convey my love.

---

Sunday

“Watch out!” I heard a voice as I was passing by the street

*Thud!*

A bike has fallen and a girl was sitting on the ground with a painful expression on her face. I only looked at her and I saw someone helped her so I continued walking.

“Hey!” I heard someone call but I wasn’t sure if it’s for me so I did not look back.

“Hey! I’m calling you. Are you deaf?” Then, I felt a hand on my wrist.

“Oh, I did not know you were calling for me.” I looked back, it was that girl with her bike.

“Won’t you even apologize or ask if I am okay?” she asked with an annoyed expression on her face

“I did not do anything wrong, the pedestrian light was green when I crossed.” I said

“But the least you could’ve done was help me! It was your fault why I slipped.”

“Somebody helped you anyway, now, if you may excuse me. I’m in a hurry.” I went to my own way

“A simple sorry or ‘are you okay?’  would make me feel better you know!” she yelled but I did not look back anymore

Are you okay? Why do I need to know. I don’t have anything to be sorry about, it wasn’t my fault.

---

Next Sunday

Same street, just a nearby ice cream shop.

“Triple scoop of peppermint, vanilla and chocolate.”I ordered

“Coming right up.”

The line was long but good things come to those who wait. Then, I got my order and apparently, a girl behind me was holding her phone as she moved forward. My ice cream got on her shirt.

.

“Pay for my ice cream” I was pissed why people can’t stay away from social media and their phones? I’m starting to think that Elon Musk was right. Humans are cyborgs and our cellphones are the extension of our artificial intelligence.

“W-What?! Oh...it’s you again!” she pointed at me with an unreadable expression. The biker girl.

“Pay for my ice cream.” I repeated as I lay out my hand to get the payment

“Why would I pay for your ice cream if you ruined my shirt?!” she said angrily

“If you just be mindful about the things around you, this won’t happen.” I reasoned

“I won’t pay for your ice cream. That’s too much. You should pay for my laundry instead!”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“I wish you could be a little bit considerate.This is the second time kind of thing happened. Next time, you can’t walk away from this.” she stomped her way out of the shop

“Hey, you haven’t paid for my ice cream!” I called out but she just glared at me and continued walking

Next time? I don’t think so.

---

Another Sunday

At a ramen shop, same street.

The shop was packed. Apparently, I wanted to taste their best seller. It’s fine to wait a little longer. I have nothing to do on Sundays anyway.

“How long is the queuing time?” I asked the waiter

“Half an hour, every seat is reserved.”

“But I will only eat by myself, is it possible for me to get any seat?”

“Well, I do not think anyone would like shared seats…”

“She can seat here!” I heard a familiar voice

The biker girl.

“What about your companion miss?”

“He’s not coming.” She said as she looked down briefly and looked at me with a smirk on her face

“I think, I’m okay to wait for another seat…”

“Oh, nonsense. You don’t want to wait longer for a nice ramen!”

“Well, I guess I have to take the offer.” I said as I made way to the seat

“Hello again.” she greeted

“Are you following me?” I said

“Oh, wow. Not even a thank you?”

“You were the one who offered this seat anyway.”

“There’s something odd about you and strangely I’m getting used to seeing you. But no, I’m not following you. It’s just merely coincidence.”

“The waiter said you have a companion…”

“He’s not coming, that’s for sure. So, you can sit there comfortably now.” she looked sad

“I guess… thank you for the seat.”

“Oh, wow. Did I hear it right? You said thank you?” she was surprised

“I just thought that’s the word that you wanted to hear to feel better.”

She smiled genuinely and offered her hand “Well, that’s the first step on being considerate. My name is Tiffany, what’s yours?”

“Taeyeon.”

The moment I told her my name, I felt as if she’s never going to leave me alone. Then, it happened just like that. I never thought I would say words just for anyone to feel better.

---

Long Sunday After

“Tiffany, don’t you have another friend? Why are you always tagging me along?” I said

“Who sleeps ‘till twelve on Sundays?”

“Me”

“Come on, Taeyeon. I just need to pick a new dress for my date!”

“Another blind date?” I asked

“Well, I feel like this one would be different.”

“That’s what you said before too.”

“That’s mean.”

“You know me.”

“I just want someone to love me, that's all. I don’t want to feel alone so I’m always wanting to be with somebody. But strangely, no one seems to be right and they make me even more lonely.”

Then, I looked at her saw how sad she was. I felt the need to say the words that would make her feel better.

“Tiffany, you’re pretty. I don’t think you need some random guys to make you feel better. Why don’t you just wait for the right one to come naturally?”

“Like coincidence?”

“Yeah. just like it.”

And from that moment, she looks like she knew what I was saying.

“Just like we’ve met.” she said

And from then on, she started treating me differently.

---

Another Sunday After

I heard her heart was beating fast as she went closer to me. I felt her hand was sweating as she held mine. Her voice was shaking. She was nervous.

“Taeyeon, I think I like you.”

"I know." I said as I was drinking my milk shake, we were at a bar and she's kind of drunk so I just keep on nodding on every word she uttered.

"I'm serious." she stared

"I know." I said nonchalantly  "Let's get you home, you're drunk. Just don't vomit in my car."

I dragged her into my car because she's crazy. I hate drunk people but there you go I have to be considerate as she keeps on telling me.

"Tiffany, where do you live?" I just realized that I don't know much basic things about her while she practically knows where I live and everything about me already.

'Maybe,I don't ask that much.' I thought to myself

I was greeted by silence and a sleeping person on the passenger seat.

"I guess I have no choice but to take you home." I sighed and shook my head in displeased

I left Tiffany to sleep on the couch and went on my own room to sleep. I may have forgotten to do something that's why she's mad the next day.

"Kim Taeyeon!" she barged into my room with her hands on her hips

I lazily looked at the clock then groaned "Oh, for god sake Tiffany. It's 6am, leave me alone." I put my covers up and faced back.

"You let me sleep on your couch without a blanket! Don't you know how cold it was! I was shivering when I woke up!"

"You have legs to walk and hands to get a blanket in my drawer."

"I was drunk!"

"So, is it my fault?"

She looked a little bit moved and awkward with what I said but still she stayed "Get up, Taeyeon."

"No."

"It's Monday Taeyeon and you have work! You said you have an important meeting today." She took off my cover and shake me

'How on earth she remembered those little things?' I thought to myself

"Tiffany, don't you have work today as well?" I asked

"I don't work on Mondays. I think I have told you before."

"Oh."

'And here I am, always forgetting things about her.' I sighed

"So, breakfast?"

"Okay."

---

"Don't you have anything in your fridge aside from egg and bread? You have to do your groc