Last year’s drabble. Same Dream’s sequel that I promised to someone. If you know this song ‘Dream A Little Dream Of Me’ , listen to it as you read. It’s a good song. Grammar errors and other things I might missed, pardon.
Dream A Little Dream Of Me
(Same Dream Sequel)
“If life is just all about living, I wouldn’t bother to wake up. It’s better in dreamland where I can experience magical things and happiness in my heart as I saw the stars shining down upon me. I do not just want to live. I want to be happy and be magical. I want to love.”
Long months had passed since Taeyeon got cured on her Fantasy Prone Personality Disorder. Here I am, stuck in the same hospital room where we first met. Still thinking about the old times we had and the exact words she told me about life.
I did a terrible thing to her, I brought magic out of her life. I was too skeptical that I forgot to see the things that are really essential took out the love out of her life.
From the moment she forgot about magic, that’s the moment I started to believe on it. In time I was too engrossed with day dreaming, she woke up from reality and left me hanging to dream alone. I shouldn’t have woke her up… In that way, we might have a chance to dream the same dream together.
I can still remember the last time I saw her. A few months ago in a coffee shop.
She changed a lot.
From the clothes she wore, from the way she talked, and from the way she looked at me.
It was my fault, she is perfect as she was, but I failed to see it.
I was busy thinking until my eyes drifted on the clock and I saw the night sky on the window.
The night was blue and so was I.
I went home as fast as I can.
The only thing I’ve been looking forward these past few months is sleeping, because only in dream land I can be with her, only in dream land I can pretend that nothing changed for the both of us. Only in dream land, I can dream a little dream of her.
As I arrived home and prepared myself to sleep, I felt the coldness of the night breeze and saw my window pane open. I walked towards the window and looked outside. The stars were shinning beautifully, I wondered if she had seen this too.
“Stars shining bright above you;
Night breezes seem to whisper 'I love you'.
Birds singing in the sycamore tree.
Dream a little dream of me. “
It’s been months since I was out of the ward. Everything has change. I was cured of FPP. My experience in the ward made me realized a lot of things in life.
Magic doesn't exist.
Bingbong doesn't exist.
Love isn't real.
All my life, I set dreams as my reality, but now I am awake. I realized, I was being a fool all along. I was delusional of being a wizard because I kept myself bottled up in my own world.
I learned a lot of things...
Taeyang didn't became a lizard.
Sure, his absence was caused by the potion I made, but it wasn't because he became a lizard. It's because he was sent to hospital for having an upset stomach for a week. It was my fault. He missed a lot of school days because of me.
I was a burden due to my fantasies.
Magic isn't true along with love. The last time I believed in love, I was told it wasn't true and with that, I believed it isn't. I kept it locked beneath the deepest part of me.
I tried going out with different people day by day. I wanted to experience how is it to live.
I was ecstatic. But then I realized life is just a routine. It's a cycle. It's nothing to be excited about.
The reality was splashed upon my face like a cold water... It's sad and lonely, however, we just got to live through it. I tried to show I'm happy to every people I meet. The more enthusiastic I am, the more they like me. The more I fit in.
I was waiting for the guy I've been dating in a café he works at, then, I saw a familiar person that changed my life.
I smiled and greeted her.
"Doctor!" I called her and made my way towards her. There's something in her that made me hug her. Was it the feeling of longing? I doubt so.
"How are you? Still playing with Bing Bong?" she teased me as she pats my head
She never changed. She's so cool as usual. Her smile still brighten me up.
"Nah...I'm all cured. Magic isn't real anyway." I said as I remembered, she was the person I like but then she's unattainable for me. I was the only one who felt the spark. Maybe, she's too cool and charming for me.
"Oh, is that so?" she said as she laughed "What's up? What are you doing here alone?" she asked
"I'm waiting for my boyfriend shift to end. We have a movie date later." I said as I pointed at the guy on the counter and he waved towards us.
I've been seeing people for months, and this guy is one of them.
"Do you love him?" she asked
Then, that's the moment I started to waver. Do I love him? Am I capable to love anybody when love itself doesn't exist?
"No." I answered "I'm only taking your advice... To meet new people. And love is just a mere chemical imbalance on our bodies and anyway I'm only living my life." I shrugged
I seek affection, I seek company but love? I don't think so.
Then she just stood there in silent as she stared at me. I saw her eyes soften as she stared into mine. For a moment I thought she was about to cry, she looks vulnerable than her usual confident self. I was about to asked her what's wrong then someone called my attention.
"Taeyeon! Let's go?" said my boyfriend
"Oh, oppa. Are you done?" I asked
"Yeah, my friend will cover shift for me." he said happily and I smiled at him and looked at the person in front of me.
"Oppa, this is my doctor. Tiffany Hwang." I told him
"Nice to meet you, please take care of her." she said to my boyfriend
"Sure I will." he smiled
"Well, we got to go." I said as I stared at her worriedly "See you when I see you?" I said as I gave her a goodbye hug
I was about to go when she called my name.
"Taeyeon!" she said as she handed me a calling card "Reach me when you need me." she said as she stared at me for a while
"Sure, just like the old times." I said and smiled and we parted ways.
“Just like the old times.”
The words turned bitter as I voiced it out. It can never be like the old times. It will never be the same again. I used to dream about her before. Being with her was the happiest experience I ever had. I dreamed of her, I dreamed of us. It could've been better if she had the same dream as mine, but she doesn't dream...
Forgetting about her wasn't easy. However, as time goes by, I learned to accept and move on.
Dreams don't happen.
Might as well join her in reality. In that way, we could've been together. Even though we'll never happen for real. We're running in the same phase called life.
There are many things I would like to tell her, words like ‘Thank you’ ‘Are you doing well?’ ‘I miss you’ ‘I miss us’. But those words, I’ll keep it to myself.
I looked at the night sky as I walked outside. It feels empty.
The night was blue and so was I.
Say nighty-night and kiss me;
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me.
While I'm alone, blue as can be,
Dream a little dream of me.
For weeks, my relationship with my boyfriend was on the rocks. He figured out I've been meeting people besides him. I told him I wasn't really serious about the relationship. I found myself that I wasn't really serious about anything at all. We decided to end things and part ways.
Suddenly, I felt so cold... I was lonely. It felt so empty. I needed someone to keep me warm and fill in what's missing in me.
But I wondered, what was it I long for?
I took out my phone and tried to call some people I went out before to hang out with.
"Hello?" I said to the other line
"What the Taeyeon, it's 3 in the morning!"
"I-I'm sorry but, can we hang out?" I asked
"I'm hanging up right now."
I tried calling other people, but it turns out the same. I thought when I made connections with people, I will gain friends that I can call anytime, but it wasn't true.
I realized, I built relationships that are ephemeral. And here I am, hopelessly sitting on the couch at 3am.
Suddenly, I saw a calling card at the table.
"Reach me when you need me." I remember Doctor Hwang's words to me.
I decided to give her a call.
"Hmm... " I heard the voice from the other line speak
"If this a prank call, I'm going to kill you."
"A-Ah... It's Taeyeon."
"O-Oh, Taeyeon? You called!" she said as her voice cracked a bit
"I'm sorry for calling you at this time but, can we have hang out together?" I said
"Right now?" she asked
"Yeah... But if you want to sleep I do understand. I'm really sorry for calling you in the mid..." I was speaking but she cut me out
"Sure, where to?"
"At the park in downtown area."
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." she said
"See you." I said and hang up
She never failed to make my heart beats fast.
“Stars fading but I linger on, dear -
Still craving your kiss.
I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear,
Just saying this...”
I waited for her in the park since it's near my flat. I sat there on a bench as I stared at the moon.
"Damn, the moon looks beautiful. Could I ever hold you?" I asked as I looked at it more
"Do you want me to lasso it for you?" A voice said as it giggled towards me
"Doctor Hwang! You came!" I said as I gave her a hug
"Eyy, Call me Fany. We're close, aren't we?" she said
"Right, Fany." I smiled
"Just like the old times." she said
"Just like the old times." I repeated and she patted my head
"Why are you talking to the moon?" she asked as she sat beside me
"Hmm... I think the moon intrigues me. It's beautiful but unreachable and unattainable." I said
"You’ll never have the moon, however, you can always look at it." she said as she beamed me an eye smile
"Did I ever told you that your eyes resembles the moon and turns to crescents when you smile?" I said
"If it is the moon, you can have it anytime." she grinned sheepishly
"You never changed. You're still charming as ever." I said as I chuckled
"And you changed a lot... You seem to be confident about yourself right now. You can do things on your own." she said "You even got a boyfriend." she teased
"All because of you." I smiled
"Y-Yeah... All because of me." she looked down
"You must be sleeping peacefully when I called, I'm sorry for calling abruptly. I do not know who else to reach to."
"Why did you called me?"
"I don't know either. I just feel so lonely I guess."
"How about your boyfriend?" she asked
"We broke up."
"A-Are you okay?" she asked worriedly
"I am. Don't worry, it's nothing serious anyway. I can just date another again." I sighed
"Taeyeon..." she called me
"I missed you." she said as she stared at me
"I was wrong." she said
"About?" I asked confusedly
"About everything." she said as she held my hand
"From the start to the moment I drank the potion...I...I-I..." she spoke nervously
"Do you like me then?" I
"W-What? N-No!" she denied
"So, what do you mean?" I asked and tried to force out some laugh to cover up how I feel
I was sad.
"I-I...I don't know how to say it." she said nervously
"You don't have to say it anymore. I understand. Dreams aren't true. I was wrong of believing too much about it." I said
"N-No, Taeyeon... W-What I mean is..."
I looked at her as she speaks, she looks beautiful as before. I can't help to smile and feel sad at the same time.
"Did you know that I used to like you before?" I told her and she stopped speaking. Suddenly, her eyes became unreadable. She looked upset. Maybe she didn’t like what I said. "Used to... Not anymore!" I cleared out myself and she smiled at me.
"I-Is that so? I'm so attractive aren't I?" she said coolly
"Yeah... So cool that I lost interest." I and she slapped my arm
"YAH." she said
"Thanks for coming here Fany. I appreciate it a lot." I said sincerely
"I'll always be here for you... As a friend." she said to me
"As a friend." I said and smiled at her and looked back towards the moon.
'I will never have the moon.' I thought to myself and sighed. It was a cold lonely night, however, her presence made me feel less lonely. I felt warm.
This relationship between me and her is something far from ephemeral. It's confusing. I don't even know what is it but it feels special.
I think I will remember her for a long time.
There comes some time, when I fell asleep, I found myself dreaming about her. I wonder, has she ever dreamt about me too? Because she’s the sweetest dream I ever had.
“Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you -
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you.
But in your dreams, whatever they be,
Dream a little dream of me.”