[CONTENTID2]"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." Catherine Earnshaw, Wuthering Heights[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID1]

He didn’t know how it occurred. He was busy signing documents with Sungjong when he received a phone call from the midwife. He had to stop what he was doing and sighed in exasperation. For seven months, Heeyeon was very emotional during her pregnancy, and the doctors demanded that she rest in bed due to ongoing depression.

She was delighted when Sunggyu was around but when he left for work while she was on her maternity leave, she wrapped herself inside a chrysalis, away from the rest of the world. The only people that were able to contact her were a chosen few. Despite her depression, she was still boisterous when needed be.

So, Sunggyu decided to surprise her after the baby was born, and he couldn’t do that without the help of his business partner, Sungjong.

Sunggyu excused himself and answered the phone. The midwife knew that he couldn’t talk but she would tell him of Heeyeon’s progress at least once a day. There was generally nothing to worry about but when he answered the phone, the tremor in the midwife’s voice stirred a deep trepidation inside him.

“Mr Kim, your wife went outside against my wishes. She slipped on the street, and...it’s not good-”

Sunggyu didn’t have time to react. The phone slipped through his fingers and the air collapsed inside his lungs until he felt as if he was breathing through a straw. The world reeled around them and he hated it for not stopping and sympathising with his fears. It continued to twirl, people continued to laugh and celebrate despite his desperate race to the hospital.

He arrived at the forsaken building, ignoring the squeaks of gurneys as they were pushed from one end of the corridors to the next. Doctors rushed through the empty space, white coats billowing behind them. Gloomy faces met him on every turn, until a member of staff finally opted to help him find Heeyeon’s room.

His heart trembled wildly against his chest. He was afraid of seeing her, yet there was a part of him that raged at her for not listening to him. There were many times where he warned her not to go outside in her current condition. She disobeyed him. Hurt mingled with anger deep inside his chest until he didn’t know whether he should scream or cry.

Instead, he punched the wall just outside Heeyeon’s room and sunk into a bench. He decided not to see her. He was scared of comforting her because he didn’t know who to blame. The back of his sockets burned but he blinked back tears when someone invaded his blurry vision.

The doctor, Nam Woohyun, handed him the report of the accident. The baby would never cry, or laugh or fill their lives with joy. Worse still, there was a shocking revelation at the very end of the page.

“I’m sorry to say this,” Woohyun said with a solemn face, “But she can never become pregnant again.”

That was when Sunggyu’s world fulminated around him. He heard his heart scream inside of him, to the tips of fingers, pounding against his ears and temples like an incessant hammer. The pressure swarmed within his chest but there was no escape, like air trapped inside a balloon.

His throat was dry and his mind was adrift. His fingers shook vehemently. He couldn’t control the surge of emotions that swept through him.

He wanted to embrace Heeyeon, knowing that she’d never forgive herself for this, but at the same time, he didn’t wish to see her. He was not sure of how to deal with this loss, much less the consequences of it all.

It confused him, how life revolved on building generations, and to think that there would never be a child in their life only bolstered the agony that suffused through his blood vessels.

Sunggyu took his face into his hands and heaved a sob. His shoulders wracked. Like a broken dam, he wept into the fissures of his hands mourning for his dead child that never even had the chance to breathe, or experience the joys that all other children do once they entered the world. He mourned for himself for being a coward, and he mourned for Heeyeon, because he knew that she was in a far worse state of mind than he was.

Woohyun gripped Sunggyu’s shoulder firmly and squeezed. “I know it’s hard, but you should really see your wife. She’s suffering right now. She needs you.”

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter