The Thing Is...

I have this friend who stuck by me when I was going through this fight with this other friend and when we broke it off this friend stayed with me everyday during lunch so I wouldn't be alone and I honestly appreciate it. But the thing is there were some days when she had to go and do credit recovery because her grades were not the best in the past and so I had to sit alone in the class rooms and I ate alone. And as time passed I got used to doing things on my own and I honestly felt good just being by myself and I also talked to some new people and became more independent compared to when I was still that one girl's friend because I was always next to her and doing things together.. 

When she came back and talked to me at first it was normal but as time passed by I noticed that she became more dependent on me and started to be more clingy towards me. she would say stuff like "you know every time I see you I always smile unconsciously, you know why?" and then she would kind of pet my shoulder and say " It's because you're my frieeeennnnnnnnddd." and i would just awkwardly smile and nod. 
IDK but sometimes the things she does just makes me feel uncomfortable and she's really emotional too and shows too much affection that I don't feel comfortable with and there would be this weird feeling in my stomach. When I sit next to her with my food and start eating she would also get upset that I didn't say hi to her when she was playing her phone with her headphones but then she would say things like "well you know you're more important to me than my phone" and I wouldn't know what to say to her.

 I know sometimes I feel mean just thinking like this when she's just showing that she care but the thing is I don't even know how to act around her because I think about this whenever I see her. 

prom is next week and we were planning to go together but I started to want other people to join us but this girl asked me to join her and I said sure. I asked the friend and she got upset because she said she didn't know who they were. I told her it's okay they're all nice you can make more friends and we kinda got mad at each other. today she sat next to me at lunch and started crying and asked if we were friends. and honestly my mind hesitated but my mouth spoke first and said of course we are and I felt bad because It felt like I was lying to her. 

To be honest Im just so tired of school and putting labels on people you hang out with. always checking to see if you're still their friend. everything.

In the end she told me to have fun at prom and she's not mad at me. she isn't going to prom and I honestly feel like everything is my fault again.



I feel like the worst person alive but in the end I can't change the way I feel about her or this situation.
Lovely_Yoongs
2 weeks ago
I felt the same! I had this friend who is really caring, affectionate and clingy. I know, she's a perfect girl friend material but I'm not the type of person who likes skinship. It's not like I detest it but, it just feels uncomfortable. Then, there was this time I wanted to be away from her for a while since I felt like she's being too dependent on me. I told her that. I told her I wanted to be away from her and she cried. I really felt guilty and I hated myself. How dare myself make her cry? After that, things weren't the same. We grew apart and honestly, I feel so guilty since I think it was all my fault. I wanted to fix things yet why do I hesitate? In the moments we were away from each other, I felt more free (or freer, if that's a word). I don't know. I don't want to feel this way too but I know I can't lie to myself. I wanted to settle things because I felt like we are faking each other and it hurts but then I think back of those times we were together then I started thinking about those times we were apart. Is it wrong to admit that I got used to us being apart? That I feel more like me when she's not around? I feel so bad when I think about that. I feel like I'm the worst friend anyone can have.
[deleted]
Datboiyoongz 3 weeks ago
It’s ok it will all go away