I'M REALLY ANGRY
WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLLLYY LONG.
I'm really angry now. Why?
I'm angry because I'm ugly.
I'm angry because I'm not perfect.
I'm angry because I don't have it all.
I'm angry because I'm a bad person. I'm angry because I've changed so much. In a bad way.
I'm angry because I've hurt everyone I love.
And.. I'm angry because everyone else is just fcking better than me.
All I wanted is to be perfect. I'm ugly. Well, not that ulgy but not that attractive either. My eyes are big, annoying. My nose is flat, I don't have a V-line jaw, and my lips are really plump. I'm not satisfied. I want to audition for SM Entertainment and they really care about looks. "Everyone is beautiful in their own way". Lies. Why does everything has to be perfect? Now I'm too obsessed about perfection. I'm angry because I'm not beautiful. I used to be sad, but now not anymore. All the sadness is now replcaed by anger. I'm angry, really really am. This friend of mine; she's perfect. She's rich, strikingly undeniably beautiful, smart- the perfect combo. While me.. I have to save up my money, and everyday I'd think a way how to make money. She doesn't has to think about these money thingy. She has it all. I feel sorry for my parents, therefore I try not to use all the pocket money I have.
My friend is good at maths. My classmates acknowledged her maths skills. The teacher loves her, praised her a lot. I'm good at nothing. Just nothing. And a classmate of mine; he's smart. People admire him. His work is neat, never failed to score high marks for every subject. Every teachers love him, saying he should be our role model. Another classmate; he's annoying, noisy and all. But he always score high marks especially for maths. He doesn't even does his homeworks. I used to be the Top 5 student during my elementary school years, but now everything has changes. Things are not the same as they were before.
Speaking of changes, I also change. I don't know.. My attitude changes- basically everything changes. I'm rude, I curse a lot, and... I neglect my parents. I used to spend time with my parent and now, I lock myself up in my bedroom, singing all the time. It hurts me, yet i can't change myself to become a better daughter. I raise my voice to them, I become just like those rude, stupid, selfish teens. I'm not myself anymore. Where's the old me? I miss myself, the old me. Now I'm just the rude, insecure girl. Where's the me who used to be happy all the time? Talk about teens and hormones. Ergh the me now is really annoying. I'm annoyed by myself. The present me.. She's annoying, rude, and she cries non-stop. She knows that crying is a sign of weakness, yet she still cry. She thinks that singing is the only way to express herself. I really don't know what is worng with me. This is why I hate being a teenager. I hurt people around me, and I hurt myself.
I write this not to show how pathetic I am to you guys. I don't need your words and advice. Not to be rude, but people like me are waste of time. I waste your time. and I'm sorry. I'd like to thank you for reading this, and I'm sorry if there are grammatical error. English is not my first language anyway. so..
Goodbye :)
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