Down To Earth & Out Of This World (Poem For Valentine's Day)

It's 9:46, volume at 87%, and I feel like I'm with her. The temptation of her darkness, that's seducing me with her silence, she makes my heart flutter, can make the colour of my face change, and is able to take my breath away. There are 7 others, maybe 8. Some are bigger than me, and some are smaller. But they're all running around you, while I know my place. Some of them are cold to you, and some are hot. One of them gives you diamonds. One gives you rings. But no matter how much hope, I'll always be lively. On the inside, you have dark vacuums, boulders, dust in your heart. Starlight in your eyes. Government in your mind. And mystery in your soul. You're mysteriously beautiful, which always intrigues me. You're an ocean, just calling me with your waves, so I can explore your depths, finding new and wonderful life and species. Every single part of you shines and sparkles, and every part of you is filled with darkness. Your silence screams for my attention. It's able to lure me and kill me. There are many like you. Some spin like a ballerina, some are spontaneous and some are in shape, but you seem to twirl in my mind and heart like no other. You are hauntingly, terrifyingly, beautiful. So with all these words, and all these girls, how can you be so down to Earth, and out of this World?

 

(I'm back, some of you know, some of your don't but whatever. This is my first my first poem, and what I'm asking for is for you to critique it and tell me what you think it's about. Whoever figures it out or whoever is closest to figuring it out, gets half of my karma. Different eyes, different view.) {P.S Happy Valentine's Day}

- [                ]

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Sweets-
#1
Wow damn you're good.
Idk I i think it speaks about the beauty and uniqueness of someone even though they may not know it.
An even though i may be wrong this is just what i thought of it.
I believe this is a love poem of some sort where you express your inner thought's and feelings for this girl. Even though you are not near to them you can still feel them. She is someone who perhaps means everything to you however she has many other options. Some who you believe are most likely better than yourself. the way she hides her true self is what interest's you to her. it's a place you believe should be shown and not hidden away. a place you wish to explore and learn more about.
In all honesty I'm not good at analysing things but oh well this is what I got.
but on the other note, you write quiet well. At first I was like no way this is just copied fro some book but then when you said you wrote it i was amazed. You must be a top A student for sure :)
Leah_Rose #2
Hi. I personally love this poem. It is so unique and different, that's why I like it. I love the ocean part, that was my favorite. Well, you wrote this poem incredibly well and Happy Valentines Day :)