To be honest, I do want a friend.  A friend who wouldnt take advantage of me. A friend who would actually listen. A friend who wouldn't bring me down all the time. I just want a friend who I wouldn't be afraid talking to when I need help. 

Most of my 'friends' wouldn't care less about me. They always go to me when they want help, or want something from me. 

Whenever I'm around them i feel like I'm the victim. I'm always ignored whenever I engage in any conversation. I feel like they're making fun of me because they always give me sarcastic and immature answers whenever I ask a question. They would insult me or tell me to go away indirectly, of course, I would just ignore it, although It hurts to realise that you're not wanted. it's not like I'm disgusting I think I'm quite a decent looking person and I think I'm nice, I don't criticise people much and I never complain or insult people. 

I had a bff, but I lost her in highschool. It all stared when I told her about this crush I had. Once I told her she became interested in him and disregarded the fact that I liked the guy and dated him. I became the third wheel for a bit, and it wasn't fun. It wasn't fun envying ur bestfriend, it wasn't fun hating yourself for doing so.

It happened with another 'friend' I began being close with aswell. I introduced them to each other and suddenly I'm being pushed out of the conversations. Then they're suddenly best friends. They would tell each other every thing, hang out, do eveverything best friends would do and I would feel that I wasn't good enough. They wouldn't trust me anymore, they would leave me out and I just can't help but feeling like I've been replaced.

No one would ever aproach me in school, unless they needed help of some sort. For example homework or essays.

My parents fail to register the fact that im unhappy. My big sister simply doesn't care, she would say something along the lines of 'its not my fault that you're unlikeable' Or something. My dad's an alcoholic and my mum's a workaholic, so it's quite difficult to get through to them.

Im surprised I'm not cutting or doing drugs to be honest. 

I'm crying right now by the way. 

I know no one's going to read this, but I just wanted to get it out of my chest. I haven't told anyone about my loneliness because I haven't met anyone who would care enough to listen, so I hope u do. 

I know I'm not being bullied or anything, I know that these aren't real reasons for a person to be sad, that I'm just being dramatic, that I just want the attention, but I do want the attention since I'm always ignored. 

-just me