Oh well another song. The Ocean by Tonight Alive, my fave Aussie band. Because "some days it feels like the ocean lies inside of me".

I have this love-hate (internal) relationship with the bias. I look at him and he's so nice. He's beautiful to me. He's almost everything to me. And then sometimes when I snap out of my daydream I think he could be a totally different person from what he portrays. All because I was traumatized by someone some 2 months ago. XD

He could really be a different person in real life. Who am I to judge. But then I invest money, time and emotions for this. Though he didn't ask me to do it, atleast a little hint of honesty, if he can show me/us, I'd really appreciate it. We all know bias can't love us back like the way we love them. It's clear as a summer's day, fans always give greater than what bias give us. More time. More effort. More love. It might just be a job for the idols that they have to fulfill in order to sustain a living. The scale hasn't been balanced since day one.

Like what a friend told me, she could see their love for their fans but somehow, she can also see there's a lot of things they are hiding from us. From that fan-servicy facade, there always lies secrets. Whether it involve fans or not, I wish to break through that barrier even just a little bit. Whether it is for my good or for my madness, I wish to walk past through that wall so I can have a glimpse of the truth in their existence. I mean, I might be asking for too much but it's just me. Heh nevermind me. I just had to lay this out cos it's been weeks that I have been having internal battles with my feels. That's why "some days it feels like the ocean lies inside of me". ^^