September 30, 2014

It's been a month since we recieved that heartbreaking news about Jessica. Admit it, up to this day, you still miss her. You still wish that she'll come back. We all do.

Seeing pictures of the girls without her makes me cry. A month already passed and I still cry. Whenever I see her pictures, it makes me cry. The happiness that I used to see in her eyes is no longer there. She smiles in front of everyone to mask the sadness, but her eyes will tell you that she's lying. Though her sadness is visible, I still commend her for keeping her head held high. When I watched her first interview since the incident, I had tears in my eyes because I was happy to know that she's alive and well. When I heard the fans singing Super Junior-M's At Least I Still Have You and Jessica looked at them, I found it really touching and I still got to keep myself together during that part, but when she stopped begore saying that she didn't lose her passion in performing, that was the part when I cried. I let my tears out because she was about to cry and it really hurt her. It was already two weeks after the news, and that was when I regained my appetite. Yes, I didn't have the appetite when the news broke out and it made me lose weight, to the point where I became underweight. All I did was cry myself to sleep.

Not a day passes when I don't think of her. Up to now, I still think of the day when I'll be seeing her doing the thing that she enjoys. Performing and playing with the rest of the members again. I still want to see her standing in her spot during their performances. I'm still hoping to hear her majestic voice and her incredible adlibs. I know that I'm not just speaking for myself. We're all hoping for the same thing. She waited for almost 8 years before she debuted and she could've given up, but she didn't. She worked hard for those 15 years and because of what happened, her hard work was gone to waste.

To the sones who got see OT9 perform live, you guys were lucky. I'm still hoping that one day, we'll all look back at this and say that they were really indestructible because this incident made OT9 have a stronger bond.