I know our fandom had gone through so many issues and rumors, but I think this one is the most controversial.

Well, actually, at first I wasn't really paying attention to it, not even a tiny bit. Because seriously, mere things like that sound like a stupid rumor invented by heads. But then the issue gets deeper and deeper and evidences begin to show up, then I'm turning insane cryin' over something that is not really directly confirmed by the entertainment itself.

I don't even know when did this started and what was the root cause of this. Neither do I want to believe in this.

And then i saw this:

"They filed a lawsuit for Kris."

I don't know why all of a sudden my teardrops begin streaming down my eyes, why flashbacks of delightful moments I've spent in spazzing and watching OT12's videos suddenly appear in my mind.

"Exo isn't Exo without Kris, or other members gone."

Really after my two years and a few months of becoming an Exo Stan, this is the only time that I realize how happy I was with those twelve idiots I stan. Life before was facile - checking updates, spazzing, going to conventions, buying merchs- and keeps evolvin' around just like that.

They have been a great inspiration to me, and have been a part of my teenage life - a day without them is like a doomed dungeon that is dark and empty.

With their singing and dancing, and even things they naturally do like blinking, flashing a smile, and even drinking a cup of tea, all has an effect on us, fans. We have been crazy with all those music videos and clips we have watched, and other anti's have been criticizing us and picking on us.

There also have been an awful lot of rumors, but we try to contend with it - we have overcomed it - and yes, up to this date we've been handling a really big amount of problems just like sasaengs and the like.

But this one... It's just like giving myself a huge amount of injections piercing straight into my heart - it hurts a lot. It hurts a lot when a part of me is gone.

To be honest, I have heard a lot about this kinds of issues. But I have never thought of experiencing it myself. What's worse is that it comes to my top fandom.

I'm crying. Why am I crying?

And then here comes another. "Tao, Chanyeol and Yixing unfollowed Kris whom they are following at the first place."

My heart.. It cleaves into broken pieces. I'm so dejected. Why in all of the things that could happen to us Exo stans, the worst had hithered. I'm not feeling any better.

You can say I'm overreacting, but you don't feel my sorrow and you'll never feel it.

But despite the fact that we are in a big crises right now, other fandoms who had even crowned us to this so called "worst fandom" are the ones who had been loyally confronting and confirming us saying "Cheer up exo stans.", "You'll overcome this.", "Be strong." and a lot more that pinches my heart. And what makes me even more emotional is the fact that we don't even have any close relationships with them, and that makes me tear up a lot tearing off my eyelids.

I'm not the kind of person who believes in rumors easily. But this time, I'll leave everything to HIM.

Kris has his own life, so does the other Exo members and other Kpop idols. They can do whatever they want. And we, fans, should not feel hatred against them but we should be happy for them because if that's what makes them happy so shall we.

All I've wanted to say is that We should always be thankful and happy with whatever our idols' decisions are, even though it creates a big heartache on us.

And instead of thinking about forlorned feelings, we could just be satisfied with all the memories they have brought to us. Because these memories are the most precious things that our idols could give us, and could keep in our hearts forever - we'll dig into it on one of these days and reminisce all those precious moments we have been treasuring since forever.

Let's keep on being strong and let's leave the rest to the future and the truth. Let's just wait for the official statements of the entertainment itself, and that's the time we could cry our asses out and release all our pain to the galaxy.

We'll naver know what would happen next.

You won't know, maybe in the future we'll be walking on a red carpet bringing us to paradise together with OT12 as one.

Don't forget that We are Exo Stans, and We are One!

Fighting! We'll overcome this~

We'll forever and always be strong!

I have more to say but I guess this shall be the end.

-maelynnbyun-