This past month I have been busy with school and tutoring some of my american friends after school .So I had no time to spend with any of my friends from the exchange progam.Yes, I live with them but I hardly see them now a days especially Hyunjoon. I know this may sound mean but I finally was done with how he acted towards me. I told him I was tired of it,I was tired of everything he had caused me to feel. I hated worrying about him all the time,I hated feeling guilty,and I hated that I still was trying  my best to fix out relationship. I know It was bad to "hate" but It was all true of what I felt. 

He asked me if I wanted him to leave my life and I didn't respond.I don't know what to do? Yes,I've been around alot of people in my life ,but  normally didn't pay attention to their feelings.

I only payed attention to my ex's feelings .Only her and nobody else because I loved her. Me and her were known as a power couple because of our looks,our chemistry,and our relationship in general but for me I didn't care about either of that.. All I knew was that I had fallen for her.

Unfrotunately after she broke up with me everything suddenly shattered and the pieces were whisked away.She took away my heart. I know that may sound dumb but she did. 

Well when I didn't respond to Joon I felt that I had made a mistake, a big mistake. .. I even sent him a link to this blog hoping that he'll see it.

I'm sorry Hyunjoon. I should not have went away I should have told you that I didn't want you to leave my life.

Every night when I heard you crying I thought It was because you missed your home but when I heard you say my name I felt like my heart had returned and had been shattered once again. I don't want you to shed tears for me .I'm not worth your tears. 

I'm not asking for you to start talking to me again because I know It will be hard but please know that one day maybe I can return the feelings.

I'm not promising.. I just know that maybe just maybe one day I will be able to tell you that I love you.

I know this may sound weird to everyone on this site but I don't care what they think all I care about Is if you at least will give me a chance to  make you smile again.

Will you smile for me once mor HyunJoon?