Peter Pan

(Story Title): (2/5)    

The title is interesting! I looked at it thinking I would get the chance to read a story of playful Baekhyun courting Sunmi. Though even while you were inspired by the song Peter Pan it didn't really fit into your story.                 

(Description/Foreword): (4/5)      

I loved your description! I thought it was so cute and I was having Baekhyun feels just from reading it! Good job here!            

(Story Plot/Originality): (5/10) 

The plot is normal. It's usually seen on AFF for a girl to run away with man she loves. Nothing new.                 

(Flow): (8/10)   

There wasn't much of a flow since it was a really short drabble.  Although for stories that aren't bandmember/bandmember (in my opinion), sometimes it's hard for a writer to make the relationship seem natural and not awkward but you did a good job on this part! I really liked their relationship even though there wasn't much to go off of.                   

(Grammar/Spelling): (9/10)        

Your grammar and spelling were very good save for one part! 

 

She had stayed with his family after a fire took hers. And Seohyun took Seungri away. 

 

She had stayed with his family after a fire took hers. Also after Seohyun had taken Seungri away from her. 

            

(Enjoyment): (7/10)   

It was really good! I wish there had been more though! It was a bit short and maybe if you had expanded it, the story would have been much more enjoyable! Your writing is excellent and I can see you working up to write good stories!         

(Total): (35/50)                      

Would I recommend it?: I would totally recommend it if the story had been 500+ words. It's a bit short right now and there isn't much to read so the next story you post should be a bit longer than that!