It's kind of funny....

Is it possible for someone who has a loving and caring family, friends who look out for you and classmates who don't give you any trouble. Is it possible for that person with such a wonderful life to have... Depression...

I don't know for sure, but I went into the nurses office yesterday and told her I had a headache. She started talking about how when you feel stressed and sad you can get headaches and stomach aches.

She then asked me if I felt sad, and I broke down crying.

She had a talk with me saying that when she see's me around even when I'm smiling I don't look happy. She wants to call my mum today, and talk to her. Tell her to take me to a hospital. It scares me thinking that even with my perfect life I might have this problem.

I feel like I don't deserve the attention I'm getting. I'm just glad I won't be home when mum come home. I will be at work. Mum likes to tell me that these breakdowns that I sometimes have will made me unstable to look after children which is what I plan to do for my career when I'm older.

My mum had depression before. She wouldn't get up from bed, and she would cry all the time, and when she was prescribed to with medication, she was sick all the time she would throw up, this was when I was around seven I had to make myself dinner and also make itor my older siblings who couldn't be bother making it.

I'm afraid I will turn out like that, that I will fall appart. I have never had the urge to cut or do selfharm nothing like that. But I have wondered what it would be like to die and ow everyone would think.

Even if no one in class bothers me or miss treats me. That is because to them I am invisible. I can't be seen.

I'm someone not important.

Maybe... This is just a chanllenge I will over come it. I only feel invinceble when I'm writing, this is the only time I feel truly happy, but all the stuff I write seem to be dark and sad.

I don't want to be like this.

Why was I born this way?