I've been trying to start on the first ending for Seunghyun, but it's just not happening right now. Hint: mainly because I don't agree with it at all, but I knew I had to be fair. I haven't even finished the second ending. It's nearly done. I think I'm just tired today.

I did my nails today. Got me thinking about my tattoo again. I'm getting three. I know it's addictive, same with piercings (11 and I still want 2 more...). But that's slowed down anyway. My ears are all full up, there's no more room lol. The last one I got was back in July before I modelled for a Japanese event. That was freaking ages ago. And I didn't even like that one, it was a rook, and it was in an odd place, so I just took it out a month or two later.

When I went running to the abandoned shanty ghost town over 5km and back every day in Kos, I found this graffitied look out point. The English was a little dodgy, but they had a massive part of the mural for 'RESPECT EXISTENCE OR EXPECT RESISTANCE'. So I've decided on that in the crook of each elbow with 'RESPECT EXISTENCE' on the right and 'EXPECT RESISTANCE' on the left. Running to Kardemena on the open road every morning with the sun and sea on my right hand side and the mountains and the desert on the left was the most liberating thing I've ever done. Especially on the first day, when I didn't even know where I was going. I just left everyone behind in the hotel and ran for my life. There was nobody else on the road. I didn't know where I was going. I just did.

So, I spoke to one of my friends about it, because I originally looked down on tattoos, being all 'it's permanent and my piercings are not lulz' and about cliches, because said friend wants lyrics down the side of his ribs. But I said it was cheesy and he'd grow out of it when he was older. But then he told me that was the point, that when he was an old man he could look back on the tattoo and remember what he was like when he was younger. 

Where am I even going with this? Oh, right. When I told him I did want one after all, he said to practise drawing it on where I have it so I get used to it and see if I like it. Been doing that for the past few days with the K-Palette 24 hour liquid eyeliner lol. It looks pretty effing good on me. I'm not gonna lie. My skin is gold all year round and my arms are incredible, so I knew it wouldn't be a problem aesthetics-wise. People always get scared when I tell them I'm getting new piercings or dying my hair another colour, because they think it's going to look terrible, but when they see it they feel so relieved. Of course. I wouldn't do it if it didn't suit me. That's why I took out the rook piercing. It just didn't jam. So we bade farewell~

My cousin also said to put it on my wall and see how I feel about it after 7 months. I think I'm going to take all measures because I don't want to regret this. I don't think I'll regret RE/ER on my arms, but there's this second one people say I'll regret, but I don't have any doubt. I don't care. I want to carry it for the rest of my life. I won't forget it. I can't forget it. How could I?

When I told the friend about this second one, he said it's a neat idea, but a tattoo on the sole of the foot is not. He's suggested the heel, which is gonna be as good as it gets, or the very middle of the sole of the foot. But I've drawn on the heel and it looks nice. It looks pretty cute. Which is ironic considering what it is and why I want it.

I don't care if it hurts. It's meant to. What happened was so incredibly painful and shocking that my broken leg is actually sub-par to it. It's so I'll never forget. Maybe I'll tell all of you about it if I ever quit writing here, haha. Probably not. It'd ruin all your pretty little delusions. Let's save it for a rainy day.

Pain is not a problem. It's nothing. I've impaled my foot on an earring before and I was only a little bit surprised as to why it was out in the hallway and I didn't even drop my sandwich, so even if I choose the underside of the foot in the end, that's fine. The problem is the font. I like my own writing. But it might be difficult to mimic. And I need to find a good tattoo artist. Might get cousin to help. Don't know if I'll use my usual piercing parlour. They're good, but not cheap, and out in the middle of nowhere. I imagine the tattooist to be the same. And I don't really like the look of their designs, it's a bit...gauche. I only want black font with no colour. Since the second tattoo is of Asian characters, I might need to go to some kind of Asian-specific place, even if it is tiny.

I'm gonna go scribble my tattoos all over this piece of paper now, and when I get back, I think I should be able to finish. It's dark out already. It feels like Christmas.