I feel sorry, not just for my friends, for my family members, and other people, but also to myself. Because lately, when I'm alone talking to people on line and not really having any interaction outside the house, it felt like I am always being by my mood. The first point, I'm happy, then I'm bored, then I'll get irritated, then back to being calm. Everything has been rotating like that since my sembreak started, and I don't know, maybe I was the same with my friends, but they don't complain only because they understood. I thought it would feel really okay, but honestly? It . It having your moods be shifted from time to time, and you keep on blaming other people, but truthfully, in the end, it was all my fault. 

I am supposed to be understood since I'm doing some medication. The doctor said that one side effect of the pill I'm taking is the sudden change of mood, and feeling sulky and irritated from time to time. At first I didn't feel any change at all, but seriously, as time passes by, I am slowly realizing the huge emotional change I'm having... and it really makes me frustrated at times, though of course, I don't like any of my family know about it. I don't want them to know I feel sorry for being like this - for acting like a child from time to time. 

Rather blaming other people why I hate them, I think I must be the one being hated because I'm such a whiny baby having lots of complaints in life.

-- though I often have a good mood

-- and though i often look at life positively

-- though i laugh often times and make so much noise because i'm naughty

i still feel that life for me sometimes

yes, because I'm telling you I'm so inconsistent.