My week - EXTENDED

So, short and sweet: 

My mom is back in the hospital. Her spleen ruptured and she was bleeding into her stomach. She almost died again, for the second time this week. She had emergency surgery and is stable at the moment. She should be out in a week.

Added to that, my husband's dad was diagnosed with throat cancer on Monday. Inoperable. Chemo only. Didn't expect news like that; needless to say we're all freaked out.

And I started my period. Glad for no babies, but I feel like and am moody as hell. Contemplated suicide today, so I went to sleep for three hours instead with SHINee's two new songs on loop. Had some nice dreams as a result. 

Finished Don DeLillo's White Noise which put me into a cosmic depression on a universal front. Beautiful novel, darkly realistic. 

Just updated Seducing Mrs. Choi, and wanted to say THANK YOU to to the people who really read and love that story. It means a lot to me. I wrote this chapter as an escape from my reality of my ty life. So, the fact that I have only lost one sub with the new update is only mildly discouarging, but not terribly so. The other two I lost before I posted, so I have no clue what their deal was.

Anyway, who cares. I need to learn to write for myself and be happy about it. But for some reason winning approval from others is a life-long disease of mine. I'll just add it to the list.

 

I'm going to bed now. Thanks for entertaining my macabre musings.

~Lani/UM

 

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Dmat17 #1
Prayers to you and your family for all you're going through.
danuyel2006
#2
Unnie M,
We're all praying for your mom to make a full recovery, she's (and you) have been through so much. Your mommy will be just fine and so will you. As for the suicidal thoughts, just think about all the people who would miss you if you did do something so destructive.. Your husband and kids.. Your immediate family... Your AFF family.. ME, unnie R and your new niece...Keylea needs to meet you... We all love and need you.

If you need me, call me anytime. Oh! And Key took pics, you need to see 'em..

~D
ScarletWounds
#3
Aw, unnie. Do you need a hug? I'm not very good at them, but I'll give you one! They're free and unlimited!
Alalute #4
Sorry if I sounded mean. I just now realised what I said..
oppappa
#5
who would unsubscribe to one of your stories? it boggles my mind...
Alalute #6
Sometimes I just want to slap you across the face for not loving yourself. I feel like kidnapping you, chaining you in my basement and torture you unroll you agree with me. Yes, life is . Not only to you, but to many people just on diff levels and period is natures tardness, but if you won't start loving yourself soon, ill be really pissed.

Other than that, love you and hold on. ends somewhere and happiness happens
lilyanfield #7
Sending hugs your way. Please take care.
foxpuppy
#8
A great big hug to you...I'm on holiday so it's kind of hard for me to keep up with your stories and commenting and stuff. But I often think about you. Stay strong. Love you :) <3
LocketyLover_Bunny
#9
Ah i knew something was wrong when you posted those lyrics on FB. Pm me whenever you can ok you know im always there when you need to talk or just vent. Hell I'll even let you go off on me if it'd make you feel better. Stupid life being a is her thing. Sending your awesome mama my well wishes and to your pappy inlaw hope he kicks cancers . 

Love you Melanie take care ok. Stay strong like i know you are. Silas needs you plus the world would be a very sad place without you in it. <3
heartykeykeke
#10
I'm so sorry to hear that Mel. I'm praying for her ti make a successful recovery and never see a hospital again and also for the chemo to work quickly. People need you and you still have do much to live for so don't think about those kind of things. I'll go to heaven, smack you and drag you down! Hmm? You might be an angel but you're one that belongs with us ^^ take care of yourself~~~
Taeminlove93
#11
That . That a lot. I really hope things get better for you Noona. :/ I wish you didn't have to go through this.
TaeminnieMee
#12
Oh my goodness, Noona ; A ; I'm sorry for everything that's going on. I wish I could help somehow. In some ways, you're like family to me and I hate to see you so sad. If there's anything I can do - whether it be sending something, giving you a call, writing you something - you just say the word, okay? Gosh, I hope everything turns around from you. You're too wonderful to go through such tragic things like this.
KailiSweet
#13
Wow, that is a lot to deal with and I imagine you must be under a lot of stress right now, but I' m glad you're okay and have found a way to distract yourself, at least somewhat. I hope everything turns out good for you and your husband. you are such a great person! Good luck!
CSHisMine #14
Oh wow, glad the surgery went well! You're weekend sounds like it must have been very stressful. Your husband, I don't know how he is but hopefully he will be able to get well over time. The novel you read sounds interesting and I may read it at some point when I can lift my spirits a bit more :o Now to check out that new chapter >:D
DancingDreams
#15
。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。
Unnie~ 사랑해!
I seriously hope your mum is okay. At least they were able to operate and that she got the hospital right? I'll be praying for your mom and her hopefully speedy recovery!
My uncle had pancreatic cancer two-three Christmases ago- he ended up having his pancreas, part of his stomach and part of his intestine removed. He had been attending a different hospital for a stomach ulcer for over a year- then changed hospitals when he moved house. He had his massive operation- and he's now eating like a pig (sorry uncle)- but he's (thankfully) made a full recovery.
My neighbour had throat cancer (we know the family really well) and we didn't find out until he was post-op. hopefully your father in law will do well with chemo- ^~^
I know I'm in no position to tell you not to think about suicide- I was in a similar state at one stage this week (before meeting y Singaporean men that wanted to wine and dine me) BUT honestly you are such a beautiful person with such a massive heart that can make me smile to no end! And you have a lovely husband and an adorable little boy(I'm sorry but he so unbelievably cute and he has the cutest little smile! Fb stalker alert)- these people care bout you and I do too- I honestly want you to be happy because you deserve it. Honestly crying helps- I was up at like 3.30am crying my eyes out over everything and nothing. It helped. A little.
Take a little break- grab a cuppa tea and try to relax, even just for fifteen twenty minutes.
I left you a comment on mrs choi and ~~~ *hypervenaltatin in anticipation of the next chapter*


If you ever need anything. Let me know. <3 love from dongsaengie Amy~