It's not over, just postponed
Today is truly better than yesterday...and the day before that, and the day before the day before that...LOLOLOL XD
In the past two weeks, my mood had been spiralling downwards. There was this thing I dreaded so much I had a hard time sleeping. This was the reason why I had been staying up late in AFF; why I had been stalking blogs. Of course, I never made it obvious. As much as possible, I would never burden you with that thing.
I told you before that AFF is my escape if reality is too hard to live in. But running away from it would not solve anything. It keeps me trapped. I'm trapped, I'm trapped~
Last Sunday, our Senior pastor shared a few words before the local pastor delivered his message. And he said, "You have the Father's blessing." He then turned to our area and it felt like he could see right through me as he declared those words again.
I have been cheering for myself for so long now that there are times when I don't feel like making myself smile because it's too hard. And hearing those words, I am reminded that I have Someone up there looking out for me.
So today, I finally did something about that thing and I feel ridiculous right now. How could I ever let that thing scare me? XD
I am so happy right now that my inner self shouted my battle cry. FREEEEEEDOOOOM!
When I got home, I was still in a high that I had to go back to the store twice because I forgot what my mom ordered me to buy, lol. Her words didn't affect me afterwards coz I was blissfully unaware of my surroundings. Just me and my happy feelings. Then my notifications in AFF made my day even brighter. The file I couldn't upload last night, miraculously gets uploaded, lol xD
Then I checked my messages in LINE. And saw JGS's: "I'm not afraid of failing. NEVER.. I''m not embarrassed even if I fail. It's never over, it's just postponed."
I don't deserve it after what I had done or not done but my Father gave me His blessing. And nothing could ever beat that.
-Keeper
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