Worried

My heart was beating real hard

It starts from now

It starts after this

Even though in my head I’ve known this already,

My heart can’t seem to accept it.

I found out about it while I was in the train

It hurt so much I was about to throw up

But this is my consequence

I had to accept it

I want to enter the Senbatsu

I want to rank

I want to smile along with all of you

What more can I do now

I don’t quite know

But damn it

The only thing I know I can do for now

is to pour out my honest feelings

everyday, on this blog

I’ll write on this blog everyday

I’ll try to convey my feelings as much as possible,

everyday in my posts, to everyone

How am I feeling now?

Well let’s start with what’s happened

I would think about it by myself but,

I feel that it’s better if I discussed it with you all

There’s a lot of things I want to talk to you all about

Why can’t the handshake event be sooner

I want to meet all of you

I’m feeling lonely

very lonely

Without all of you,

I don’t know what to do

For all those who have casted their votes for me,

I sincerely thank you all

And, I’m sorry

[MY GOSH AMINA..]