Oh gosh...Here I go.

About five months ago I was different than I am now. I didn't see things the same way. I was definitely a lot more impulsive...a lot less mature when it came to feelings.

I've always said that my perspective on men has been "smitten with looks, taken with laughs". I'm quick to say "Oh, he's y", but when I come out to say that I really like someone, I find it hard. I can't even tell you why, I'm just always afraid to give my heart to someone who might not necessarily share theirs with me in its entirety.

But five months ago I was once again smitten with someone's good looks. It wasn't like a crazy obsession, but I definitely found this guy attractive. I wasn't afraid to say so, either, often watching solely him up on stage.

However, that all changed about a month later, when my summer boredom got the better of me and I wanted to watch more about my good looking idol.

To be honest, I don't know what happened, or how to begin to fathom the change in perspective. Maybe it was your hair, or maybe it was your sense of style. Maybe it was your dancing, maybe it was your voice. Maybe it was your crooked smile that made your eyes scrunch up really tiny. Maybe it was your powerful, full-hearted laugh that could light up a room. Maybe it was your authoritative way of controlling your audience, maybe it was your happy-go-lucky attitude and outlook on everything. Maybe it was the way you cried in front of everyone without caring once what others thought about you.

Like I said before, I can't quite say for sure.

But it was definitely something foreign to me. I've always been a tomboy, so I'm not emotionally...open, I suppose. I'm easily confused by new things that I feel and think.

You certainly were one of those new things to me. I remember one day I proudly said your name and felt something funny in my stomach. I wondered what it was about, but kept going about my day. I don't quite remember why, but I happened to mention your name again, and that jittery feeling in the pit of my stomach came back. "Something must be wrong with me," I remember thinking. I thought I was catching something.

...Yeah, well I certainly caught something.

I will be the first to admit that I've never been in a relationship with anyone. I've never felt emotionally close with any boy to want to be in a relationship with anyone before.

That was until I saw you.

I knew right away that you were my favorite. I admired your talent and skills, and I thought you were drop dead gorgeous, but I didn't think I could label my feelings as anything more than admiration. I didn't know what to label my feelings. It couldn't be love, right?

Well, again, I've never had any connection with any boy in my life before. I wouldn't know what it meant to like someone if I tried. I looked up the meaning of the word "love", but every time I found a different answer. It was then that I realized that no dictionary or prophecy can put a label on the term "love". To love someone is a very profound thing. It can be in the form of admiration, idolation, friendship, kinship...there's more ways to love someone than to hate someone.

And I'm definitely proud to say that I love you.

Am I in love with you? I might not ever know. But what I do know is that you're definitely the closest thing I've ever felt to being in love with someone. So I definitely love you in that respect. Hell, I don't know, I might actually be in love with you. You've managed to convert me from an introverted, lacking-confidence, uninspired individual into a growing, more assertive young woman.

I just really want you to know that I love you more than anything, for everything that you do, and I would give the world to say it to your face.

So please...it doesn't matter what anyone says. What matters is what kind of a day you're having. How you feel. How people treat you. How you keep smiling and make every second count.

Because every second of your life counts, Woo Jiho. I know you won't make waste of it. You've provided me with so much happiness and knowledge, the least I can do is support you, even if it's only from afar.

Again, I would give the world to say all of this to your face, in your own language. And who knows? Maybe someday I can and will. Maybe someday we can become friends. Lovers. Who knows.

Woo Jiho, Saranghae. Saranghae saranghae saranghae. Have the happiest of all birthdays, you really deserve it. ♥

~Love Always

A Dedicated BBC ♥