It felt like electricity surged through her body on the contact of his hands. Her eyes widened, as she’d never felt like this around him before. No. It can’t be. He was pushing her from behind, as to him, she was walking much too slow. ”Could you walk any slower?” He whined, still pushing her. She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard his voice, and started walking faster, away from him. She heard him mumble, “Urgh, finally” as she walked, stumbling at her effort of putting as much distance between the two of them as possible.

She sighed, slowing her pace when she was far enough from him. Stopping in an isolated area, she put a hand over her drumming heart. “Why am I like this?” She wondered. She felt an aching in her chest come in as she thought of the cause of her state at the moment. No. She couldn’t fall for him. She couldn’t possibly let herself fall for someone else that she couldn’t have again. Her heart ached again at the thought. But why? Why did her heart speed up so much when he was near? She swore she wouldn’t, never thought it’d happen. Never thought it’d happen because of him, especially. Of all people, why him? Then again, she’d always fallen for people out of her reach. It seemed like she was bound to always want things she couldn’t have. It hurt, not being able to have who she wanted. It wasn’t that she was invisible to them, or anything of that sort. She’d just always been seen as sort of a little sister to them, nothing more. That’s what each and every one of the guys that she’d fallen for before said. It wasn’t their fault that they didn’t like her back, not at all. To be honest, she didn’t think that there’d ever be a person who would like her.

She’d never thought she was pretty, forever staring in awe at some of the pretty girls that she passed by. She wish she looked like them. But, sometimes thinking of it, she was happy not being one of those pretty girls. The ones that all the guys gaped at. They always ended up hurting guys, sometimes the most innocent nice guys. It wasn’t their fault. Yes, she thought; it’s better not to have to hurt nice people that I never meant to hurt…it’s better when the only one hurting is me. But, right now was one of the times that she wished she was one of those girls. Maybe then he’d like her. Maybe then she wouldn’t get hurt…

People had always put him and her together. They were always telling her how cute she would look with him. A comment, a look here and there from people whenever she was with him. Wouldn’t they be perfect together?; Don’t you think they’d be the most adorable couple? Her friends and classmates always whispered about it. Oh, she heard them alright. She just pretended that she didn’t. Pretended she was too engrossed in whatever she was doing to hear. She couldn’t even avoid being asked about it in the restroom. “So, when are you guys going out?” “You guys are just perfect.” She always avoided the question, or remarked, “Why?”, and hastily slipped away just as soon as the askers’ attention was diverted for just a second. Honestly, her heart ached when she was put on the spot about him. Comments like “Why aren’t you guys together already?”, “You have to do something about it.”, drew out the thoughts that hurt her the most. She answered them in her head, of course, without ever speaking a word of her own thoughts. Because he’d never like someone like me. Because I’m not anything near what he wants. Because I’m not one of those pretty girls. She could only list the negative things. Sometimes she felt like she would break down whenever the topic of him and her being together was brought up. Why can’t they stop? Can’t they see that he’d never want a girl like me? It’d hurt much less if they didn’t bring him up with any spare time that they have in class. 

In the beginning, when she’d just met him, it wasn’t like that. Those questions had only evoked as much as an “No way,” a laugh, and a shake of her head. She’d never thought much about those comments. She’d never thought much about him. As time passed, she found herself getting closer to him. He wasn’t so bad, not as she’d initially thought. He was a warm and bright person, or so she thought. After awhile, being next to him made her feel warmth and happiness that she hadn’t felt before. As the days passed by, she found herself thinking of him more and more. 

And, so came now. The first time that his contact made her go crazy.