In hopes this’ll find you


If your birthday is 07/23. Please read. 


to start out, I do not want to state any names. To avoid any controversy of any of the sort, if this resonates with you then......hey?

2017. you were the first person I met when I joined kpop rp when we were just 16 years old. I don't know how we clicked considering we were two completely polar opposite, it was almost like you were the moon to my night. Shining in all of its beauty as you never failed to create a peaceful and caring atmosphere for me. You welcomed me with warm and kindness and I took advantage of that. You had me immediately addicted, I couldn't get enough of you. 

we eventually ended up dating, every month you treasured me by giving me gifts and spending an endless amount of time with me whilst I pushed you away and neglected your kindness, I abused your vulnerablity and tried to take in control of who you could associate with. I was toxic. Abusive, even. However, you saw the good in me and still stayed with me. I was aware of the mistreat I've given to you, I was aware of the multiple nights that I left you alone all upset that I caused. You finally broke it off for your own good, you found some type of grounding with yourself and I'm proud of you for doing it. After our breakup I heard you were doing good, you were more happier with your friends. i left you alone, isolated myself so I could leave you alone but somehow I kept seeing you everywhere. You were all I could think of, I still think about you even though it's been two years since we split. 

i don't know where I'm going with this letter, but I hope you come across this. I've recognized the mistakes I've made and I've grown from it, our relationship began when we were kids. I was in an unhealthy environment home but you were the only healthy thing I had. I miss you terribly, i don't know where to go to find you. I assumed you blocked me on all social media which I don't blame you for, you gave me everything anyone would ever want in a relationship and I wasted it. I've never met someone so caring and patient, at this point I feel desperate and I just need to have some type of contact with you.

i don't mean to write this either to gain some type of pity, this is a bit too late to apologize considering it's been a hot minute but I miss you. I miss your voice, us sleeping on the phone and hearing your soft snores, I miss your sniffles you'd make after watching coco, I miss hearing you ramble about txt and about your day. Some people would say ic relationships to ooc relationships hurts the most and I agree. However, I do deserve this unhappy ending, I don't know if you are with a partner at this time but if you are I hope they're treating you right. You deserve it. 

my own family keeps asking about you they've told me multiple times I've messed up things with you, you were apart of my life that made it happy. I can't thank you enough. I hope you're in a happy place right now. I just wish for us to cross paths again, but for now. I just dream about you. 


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