first things first, i stole this from rina (twilightforay) who stole it from sangwoosgihun. credit where credit is due lol.

 

1. WHAT'S THE FIC YOU'RE MOST PROUD OF? 

strawberries and cigarettes (ftisland, hongki x seunghyun), let me let you go (tvxq, yunho x changmin)

 

2. WHAT'S A FIC THAT TOOK YOU TO AN EMOTIONAL/DARK/HARD PLACE? 

none of my writing can Take me to anywhere lol if anything, i'm writing from From a place. but i don't think any of them have been under super negative emotions. i'm not the kind of person who likes to dwell on those anyway, so i probably don't remember lol.

but i will admit i wrote The Answer (Is You) (infinite, sunggyu-centric) under severe Emotions LOL i was like jesus christ sunggyu looks so good?? he's so hot??? and the way he's singing???? makes me cry????? anyway that's probably the one thing i remember writing because i was Hella emotional.

 

3. WHAT FIC ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO? 

what fic am i NOT emotionally attached to is a better question LOL. other than the two i linked in question 1, i have a soft spot for we came crying hither. (infinite, sunggyu x hoya). i had just read macbeth on my own, i think, and even personally pieced together the cover art. and no one ing read it :(

beyond the hospital window (sj, han geng x yesung) is also one i love. it's a continuation of by the hospital window by jishubunny and was one of my first works on this site. granted, that means my writing wasn't As good as it is now (hohoh love that confidence) but i had such a clear image of it and it represents smth special to me.

july (exo, yixing x baekhyun) is another one. i wrote it in a slightly more whimsical style and it turned out great and i was surprised. i meant it to be part of a series where each fic had the theme of a month, but that never came to fruition.

 

4. WHAT FIC OF YOUR OWN DO YOU READ FOR COMFORT?

my comfort fics are anything i've written with my friend marshybleep. in particular, king's amazing residence of love (many groups, crackfic extraordinaire) is one that always makes me laugh, and i keep asking myself why we didn't finish it, and then i remember we revamped it many times and just lost interest. we have other stories too but those are private >:)

 

5. WHAT FIC OF YOUR OWN WON'T YOU READ?

the earlier ones.

 

6. WHAT'S THE HARDEST PART OF THE WRITING PROCESS FOR YOU?

writing. that's it, next question.

no because i have ideas, but they're flashes or segments. and i'm always like okay i can expand this but either i forget to write it down or i write it down but then lose all motivation to do any work on it. it's much easier to watch a movie in your head than to translate that movie into words.

 

7. HOW DOES RECEIVING OR NOT RECEIVING FEEDBACK/SUPPORT IMPACT YOU?

please. not receiving feedback was part of the reason i stopped writing at all. i was falling deeper and deeper into the external validation trap, so when i couldn't get it and was increasingly desperate for it, i decided to stop writing fanfic altogether to wean myself off of external validation. then that turned into the inability to write my own ideas, and eventually into not writing at all.

 

8. DOES ANYONE IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE KNOW YOU WRITE FIC? IF NOT, WOULD YOU TELL ANYONE? 

most of my friends know. it's not necessarily a secret, but i don't go out and scream I WRITE GAY FANFICTION. if ppl ask, i'll tell them. but i'll probably omit kpop fanfiction (since i technically don't write kpop fanfic anymore).

 

9. WHAT'S YOUR WRITING PROCESS LIKE?

usually it starts with an idea, or the flash of one, and usually the pairing comes with. if i don't think it fits that pairing or if i'm obsessed with a different pairing atm, i'll force it or change the idea a bit. then it's just a matter of putting words on paper and vividly hallucinating what comes next as i type. sometimes the ending doesn't match the one i roughly planned for, but that's okay because it was the ending the story needed.

beyond that, nothing. i hate planning and i'm not good at it so i can't write anything longer than like 10k words lol.

 

10. HOW HAS WRITING POSITIVELY IMPACTED YOUR MENTAL HEALTH OR OVERALL MOOD? 

it bad. when i did still write, it was a way for me to spill my emotions out. but again, external validation got to me and i ended up being more tortured by writing than comforted. i'm still more tortured by it than comforted.

 

11. HAS A FIC YOU'VE WRITTEN EVER CAUSED ISSUES/CONTROVERSY? 

me? well-known enough to cause issues? i can only dream.

 

12. WHAT'S YOUR PERFECT ENVIRONMENT TO CREATE/WRITE? 

my room, dead of night (or not), and my vividly hallucinating mind. alone, ofc.

 

13. DO YOU TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR WRITING, OR DOES IT EMBARRASS YOU? WHY? 

as long as i like it, i'm proud of it. if i don't like it, then it's a source of embarrassment. unless other ppl like it, and then i question vehemently why they'd like this piece of LOL.

 

14. DO YOU COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER WRITERS? IN A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE WAY? 

ooooof course. usually negatively. i'm a picky reader, so i only read well-written fics. but the problem with well-written fics is that they're... well-written, so i'm like damn i wish i could write like that. but occasionally i do read the bad fic and i'm like wow glad that's not me LOL.

 

15. HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR WRITING HAS IMPROVED OVER TIME? 

enough. i used to write solely in first person and now i only write in first person sometimes. i used to not know the enter key existed, then i entered way too much, and now i enter an appropriate amount. i used to not know how ppl talked irl but now i have a decent dialogue sense. 

 

16. DO YOU RE-READ OLD FICS? IS THERE A TIME IN YOUR WRITING YOU WON'T GO BACK TO? 

i love rereading my own . i'm like i made that. wow how could i write like this (can i write like this again?). damn that's so FUNNY i came up with that?? i was a genius! but in general i'll only read things from 2016/17 on. anything before that delves into 'this person does not know how to write and it shows' territory and i'd like to pretend i was always a good writer thanks.

 

17. WHAT'S THE BEST ENGAGEMENT/INTERACTION/FEEDBACK YOU'VE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE WHO'S READ YOUR WORK? 

jesus christ i've gotten some REALLY touching comments, especially on the niche fics that i never thought anyone would read. like strawberries and cigarettes (the one linked in q1), someone on ao3 commented a whole essay and i nearly cried. that was the first one that really stood out as 'holy ' so it's the first one i remember. there have been other since then, and others before that, but that one really made me feel like it was worth it.

 

18. DO YOU ONLY WRITE WHEN YOU'RE INSPIRED, OR DO YOU TRY AND SIT DOWN AT SPECIFIC TIMES AND WRITE NO MATTER WHAT? 

only when inspired. i'm not a quantity > quality person. i recognize that writing is a skill that needs practice, but i have so much other stuff going on in my life that it's impossible for me to force myself to write without having a whole real breakdown that'd end with me absolutely hating the guts out of creative writing.

 

19. IF YOU COULD WRITE AN IDEAL FIC, WHAT WOULD IT INCLUDE? 

eastern fantasy (xianxia, cultivation, stuff like that), life lessons that i've learned and that i think ppl need to be reminded of (like everyone is destined for a different path at different times), real family and found family, healing from various things, and-- oh you said Fic?? probably not my own characters then LOL.

 

20. WHAT'S THE GREATEST GIFT YOU'VE GOTTEN FROM YOUR WRITING? 

...another potential career path? writing wasn't what got me into translation, but without writing, i couldn't ever even consider being a literary translator (because it consists of rewriting someone else's writing in a different language while keeping nuance and stuff). i look at other fan translators and i'm like okay i respect you, but you clearly do not have a background in creative writing LOL.

also it's helped me not have a mental breakdown with my major classes. thank god for the creative writing classes with chill profs and chill assignments.