I feel sad. Empty inside. I am happy sometimes but it doesn't last very long. I think i hate myself a little. Maybe not little, maybe i hate myself more than i realise. I think I'm being swallowed by this darkness that makes me cry a lot. Everyone that i see is surrounded by light in some way or other. I don't like who I am. I think about death a lot these days. What if i disappear oneday, what will happen then? What would happen to my parents, my friends, people that i had met for a brief time. Would they be sad? Would they wonder about the reasons and think why I did something like that? At this moment in life I'm hugely disappointed in myself. The confidence that i had before got shattered and I no longer think I can make it. I can't talk about this with people that i know. They'll worry about me and give me advice or solutions to my problems. I don't want solutions. I don't want them to worry about me. I just want to cry and cry till I have no more tears left. I want this emptiness to disappear. I want to feel confident once again. I want to be free and not worry about the future all the time. I don't want to disappoint anymore people in my life. I wish i never existed. I wish i could disappear from this world silently and not cause pain to the people that know me.