Hey guys, it's been a very, VERY long time. I know I've left a lot of things non-updated, to the point where most people no longer hope or expect they will be. Want to tell you all that life is great! I'm kicking back in Taiwan, working as a writer, voice actor, and illustrator, and happy with my gf of 3.5 years <3 

However, as you can see by the title, that's not what this post is about. I've made the decision that I'm going to delete most of the fanfictions I've posted here - specifically, the ual or romantic ones. You might've already seen that Consumed is gone - that one I felt needed to be removed first for reasons I'll explain. I wanna share my thoughts about this with you all so you understand why.

I have been and still am a fan of 2NE1 and all its members. I adore them and cherish what they have meant to me, what their music and they as people have meant to me, what being part of the Blackjack fandom has meant to me. When they reunite one day, I'll be there paying out the nose to go see their concert, screaming and waving a banner or lightstick or whatever I can get my hands on. 

On a personal level, too, being part of their fandom has been truly significant for me. I became interested in them at a critical time in my life - I'd gone through some major upheavals including divorce, ual assault, losing my house and car, and nearly dropping out of university. Another element that I was dealing with at the time was coming to terms with my uality. Any of you who've come out, especially as teens or adults, know that it is a PROCESS. It's a huge mix of emotions: excitement, fear, confusion, , maybe even self-loathing or shame. And people naturally look outward to find examples of what being gay, lesbian, trans, bi, ace, or any other member of the rainbow community looks like. There's a reason they say 'representation matters.' Representation to a confused gay kid or young adult is EVERYTHING. Media has begun to do better at it in recent years, but that wasn't always the case - and in K-Pop, unless something is changing that I don't know about, the mere discussion of non-cishet uality or gender is absolutely still taboo, because Korean society is lagging behind in its protection and acceptance of LGBTQ+ people. 

So, as fans, we make our own representation of things we wish we could see and be. I know that some people write slash and for reasons that don't have to do with this, but for me, this was my reason. I wanted that effusive, world-ending kind of love with another woman. I wanted to explore what and passion looked like between two women, because it was what I could see for myself. Writing all this out was what helped me process who I was becoming, and also was my salvation during a long period of major depression when I needed time to heal inside my room and regain the strength to face the world again. Chaera became the vehicle for me because I saw in these two women the kind of mutual tenderness and devotion that I hoped for. I still believe they have that for each other, romantically or not.

But... here's the thing. Chaera is made up of two real people, Lee Chaerin and Sandara Park.

As much as their respective images and combined image as friends and groupmates might've been crafted by their fame, their agency, their public presence, they aren't characters in a show. Their lives are not fiction, they are real people, with real emotions, real relationships, real hopes, dreams, and goals. You or I could (and some have done so) meet them on the street and have a conversation with them, they have families and legal documentation issued by the government. And the more time goes on, the more wrong I feel about essentially crafting an alternate reality for two real people with a relationship that, even if it were real, would be intensely private and deserves the respect of consent and distance. 

I know some of my stories, and many of the stories on this site, are actually AU stories, where the characterizations are a big departure from who they are in reality. But real people's lives are still the template. If something is written in jest or meant to be parody or quite obviously with some humor, or if a person consents to a more serious and romantically involved story about them, that changes things. But any of you who've read my fics know that's mostly not the case. I wrote TBYH and Consumed  with utmost seriousness, despite lighthearted moments in them. I deleted Consumed already because the contents of it now make me so uncomfortable - I wrote some really questionable about disability, inspiration , r*pe, and deep trauma using Chaera as the template for it that I honestly never should have, and I am sorry to you readers and to CL and Dara for ever doing that. I understand now that it was wrong and seriously hurtful. It doesn't matter what my excuse was at the time. So, Consumed is gone and it won't return. If you see anyone try to reupload it, honestly just ask them to take it down and refer them to this post, and report the upload if they refuse. I don't want it anywhere online.

As for the others, I think most of them come from a place of love, and express more creativity, tenderness, and humor. So, while I still will delete them out of respect for the people I wrote them about, I'm going to do so next Saturday (July 10) from when this blog is posted. I know a lot of people love TBYH and its spinoffs, so if you want to download them for your personal reading in this next week, please feel free. I just ask that you don't reupload them anywhere and understand that I'm taking them down for a reason, and please show respect to that. 

I truly appreciate all the people who've read and enjoyed what I wrote. Your readership has meant the world to me and I'm so glad my stories could bring you joy and let you feel what I felt while writing them. Thank you so much, and I wish every one of you a life of love, happiness, and being who you truly are. Until forever, 2NE1 nolza!!

~Kyaccha

Edited to add: I will NOT be deleting "Of Fish and Fury", "Light Reading", or "2NE-WHAT? A Crackin' Good Time" - the others are all going!