This is another page. And this is from before she's going for therapy but since I'm curious, I took a read again. This isn't exactly a diary. It's more like a bunch of the feelings that she let out when the emotions run high and too mich for her to handle. She's the kind of person that the more furious, frustrated or stressed out she is, the longer she would write. She's unexceptionally an overthinker. And I think, it's been a while she write. She took the book the her doctor and I believe, the doctor wanted to see me because I was somewhere in the books too.😅 

Apparently, the doctor asked me if I also like her, which I don't understand what does that mean.😅

I am always too afraid of approaching people first. Because I always feel like I don't get to do that. I always feel like people hate me. 

Yeah. 

I livey life like this. I have always been this low self esteem. People said I am very confident when in reality, I am such a coward. I am brave, that I could admit but to be confident is different thing. I always think I don't deserve the life I'm living now. I should live worse than this. People never know how I live my life. It alwaus felt like hell. 

I wake up everyday feeling guilty. Guilty because I am not a good human being and being alive felt like torture. It's hard trying to pretend you're fine when deep inside, I feel like giving up. 

I am broken inside. I am very broken. 

I am afraid of everything. There's not once in the passing days, that I didn't think about suicide. I am trying to hold myself. I'm fighting my battle. 

Years passed and it's not getting any better. I'm still holding on. I'm holding on every little piece of sanity that left in me. 

I'm trying.