I’m an Extrovert BUT I Feel Like an Outcast

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not weeping as I write this. It just makes me wonder a lot. Staying indoors started it, of course.

Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of my friends hang out in groups. It’s not that I’m envious of them hanging out or that I feel bad about not being invited. I just can't help but ask myself, “If I were to go out like them, who would I hang out with?”

This question has been bothering me for months now.

I do have friends. I’m friends with everyone in general, but at the end of the day, I don’t have anybody whom I can call my “home friend,” maybe. I'm friends with everyone, but every time I find myself troubled or whenever I'm anxious about something, I don't know whom to approach.

I'm just wondering if it's just me. Or am I overreacting? It's been months (internally screaming), and I never talked about life or anything like it to anybody else aside from family. (As you can see, I’m ranting here instead of other social media platforms ㅋㅋㅋ)

(Though… I'm thankful for it-- somehow, because whenever I have thoughts that I can't share with people around me, I would resort to writing it down in fanfics >.<) It feels more open here than the actual world out there.

Am I overreacting? Or do I not have a social life at all? ㅠ_ㅠ

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Gomtokki_Hamsbun #1 Mar 19, 2021 12:18:52

Hey. It's not only you. I also feel that all the times. I 'm an extrovert but introvert in the same time. I can make friend easily but I doesn't have friend that I can text or chat around when I need someone to talk to. I always left alone whenever my friends hang out and they didn't even ask me to hang out with me. And when I hang out with them, I also feel like outcast because I feel so lonely eventhough I sit with them and being around them. You have your family to talk to if you have problem, but I have no one to talk to. It's not that I have family problem but I think I can't open up about this kind of thing with my family and I end up just swallow it alone. You are not overreacting because I also feel this too.

Hmp_143 #2 Mar 19, 2021 12:14:10

I also experienced this but I didn't realize earlier. I felt so dumb after hahah, no wonder why when I'm with them it feels like I'm a new comer. Before I thought we were close friends, but then I realized it seems like I'm just tagging along and not really a part of the group...it's like I'm invited/welcome if I'm there but if I'm not, it's really not a big deal and I also realized sometimes it feels like everyone is walking on eggshells when I'm there. Maybe I took it negatively?? I'm not really sure, but I became more conscious about myself afterwards and most of the time I avoid everyone or I'm uncomfortable when I'm with a group/outside. It feels so tiring, really. Maybe this is why I became an introvert and spend all my time reading or doing something I can enjoy alone...