I usually delete these.

I usually delete these posts I make.

I feel like sometimes I put a little too much into them. However this one I am not going to delete and whoever reads it reads it.

I wanted to say this for a long time without feeling like I am going to ruin myself with saying it, but... 

I feel pressured. I feel like there is a lot of weight put on my shoulders to be a great writer or to just keep up with what I am doing. The thing is that some of the things I have put out were my only escape from a reality I felt wasn't worth living in anymore. 

I have been doing a lot for my mental health for a long time I have been battling it for so long. I have done a lot to improve myself and trying to continue to write my escapes feels like I'm stepping back into that situation. I promised that I would finish what I started and I have always been one to finish what I started but I don't know if I can. 

I want to finish the stories I have been writing and getting so much support and love for but I feel like I can't do it. When I go back to continue, to finish what I started. I feel stuck, like I am suffocating because I can't move forward. i know that one day I will finish it because I know that i want to finish it. That I will finish it but I just can't. 

This makes me feel bad for starting new projects, that I have tried to do in the past and have put out there but slowly stopped putting out there. I feel like I can't continue forward without finishing the other. I want to be more than just that. I want to feel that love and support for my other works but it feels like no one likes my other stuff or wants my other stuff. 

I feel stuck and pushed in a box. I want to grow and publish other stuff but I am afraid. I think it's mostly fear of abandoning a work I promised I would finish. I want to finish and I know I will finish it when I am ready but I still feel guilty for wanting to pursue other things. 

I am currently posting and writing a new project that I have been really interested in and wanting to continue and I haven't felt this way about writing in a long time. I hope that the people who love and supported me for so long continue to love and support me in my journey of new projects and patiently wait for me to finish what brought them to me in the first place. 

I really love the community I have found and hope to continue to be a part of it. 

No matter what heath issue I battle, I want to stay here until I can't fight anymore, for those who supported me in my darkest times. 

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Minhospuppy
#1
Hey! I just discovered you and well do one thing at a time, trying to do everything at once will make you feel like doing nothing. Stick to one thing you like and then focus on finishing that. That's why I didn't start any other fanfic before finishing my ongoing on because I knew it would only make me lose interest in both of them. Take your time and do what your interested in first. You don't need to do everything at once your not a robot. Just chill out!
Also I'll check out your story and support you in anyway I can!