INCORRECT QUOTES COLLECTION

觉醒东方

 

LUSHI my boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips, what should I do?
DESHI punch him in the stomach. then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.
ALYSSA tackle him
MARELAINE dump him
BOLIN kick him in the shin
JUNJIE NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

 

BOLIN we gotta get to the hospital and we gotta get there fast
MARELAINE then i should drive

JUNJIE why you?

MARELAINE i have nothing to live for and i drive like it.

JUNJIE okay, let's do it
[Later in the car]

EVERYONE *screaming*

 

DESHI i hate the way you pack my lunch
BOLIN maybe you should pack your own lunch
DESHI *packs 32 oreos*
BOLIN maybe i should pack your lunch

 

MARELAINE hey, do you think i could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

LUSHI you're a hazard to society
DESHI and a coward. do twenty.

 

MARELAINE say yes to drugs.
LUSHI say no to drugs.
JUNJIE it doesn't matter what you tell drugs.

JUNJIE because if you're talking to drugs, you're taking drugs.

 

BOLIN okay, let's stop using the term 'butthurt'. we're not twelve anymore.
DESHI you sound fannytroubled.
JASPER a little bootybothered if you ask me.
HAITAO someone's having a tushytantrum.

 

KQ NEXT://CHERRY

 

ZURI are you in love with camille?
SUMMIT *sweats* ...no
ZURI then why do you draw 'S+C' in hearts everywhere??
SUMMIT it stands for suffering and crying

 

SUMMIT the food is too hot, i can't eat it
CAMILLE you're too hot and i still eat you
SUMMIT *blushes*
CAMILLE *winks at him*
KAYLA one dinner. i just want ONE DINNER.

 

ZURI i'm gonna play a song for you right now

ZURI it's called "my life so far"

ZURI *takes a deep breath, bangs the cymbal*

ZURI *high pitched* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

 

CAMILLE I DO WHAT I WANT
ZURI i'm calling kayla

CAMILLE no wait

 

CAMILLE why is kayla always doing the laundry so loudly?
SUMMIT so everyone knows that no one helps in this house

KAYLA, IN THE DISTANCE *slams the washing machine shut*

 

KAYLA so let's start by talking about the emotions you guys are feeling right now.
ZURI stabbing.
KAYLA stabbing isn't really an emotion, it's more of an activity...
KAYLA ... that I hope you don't do to anyone in this show.
KAYLA see, an emotion is more of a feeling
ZURI well, maybe i feel stabby.

 

ESPORTS PRINCES

 

MYSTIC c'mon, jaewook, I wasn't that drunk!
FLY you tried to color my face with a highlighter. because you said i was important
MYSTIC, TEARING UP but you are!

 

FLY i'm not doing too well
FLY i have this headache that comes and goes
MYSTIC *walks into the training room*
FLY oh look, there it is again

 

DISPATCH *following Fly for hours*
BOSS any news?
DISPATCH *crying* i've not even heard him talk, but i'm in love with him, sir
BOSS 
BOSS god dammit-

 

FLY mystic would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun

 

MYSTIC i thought i was meowing back to my cat for the past hour.
MYSTIC turns out it was just fly and i meowing at each other from different rooms in the house

 

MYSTIC how does a duck fart? through its -quack
FLY  off

 

THE OLD HAGS

 

VIVIENNE i'm having salad for dinner
VIVIENNE well, fruit salad
VIVIENNE actually, it's mostly grapes
VIVIENNE okay, it's all grapes
VIVIENNE fermented grapes
VIVIENNE 
VIVIENNE it's wine
VIVIENNE i'm having wine for dinner

 

NEOGURI [about vivienne] i can feel her undressing me with her eyes.
MOONJAE i don't know mate, she isn't laughing.

 

VIVIENNE i can't believe we're stuck in this room together
NEOGURI, SWALLOWING THE KEY truly unfortunate

 

NEOGURI i'm so useless
VIVIENNE nah, you are not
VIVIENNE you can be used as a bad example

 

NEOGURI i made tea
VIVIENNE i don't want tea
NEOGURI i didn't make you tea. this is my tea.
VIVIENNE then why did you tell me?
NEOGURI it's a conversation starter
VIVIENNE it's a horrible conversation starter
NEOGURI oh is it? we're conversing. checkmate.

 

NEOGURI how come you've been so nice to me lately?
VIVIENNE what do you mean?
NEOGURI you're just nicer than usual
VIVIENNE i can punch you if you want

 

BADASS BABIES

 

HYUNTAE let me see what you have
MAJA a knife!
HYUNTAE okay, have fu-
MIKIO NO

 

HYUNTAE HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE
HYUNTAE *aggressively throws water bottles*
GAHEE uh...
XIULAN he's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us
HYUNTAE l APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!
CHANGHO *crying* it's working

 

MAJA i can't go, stress is bad for the baby
XIULAN what baby?
MAJA me.

 

MIKIO i like all my members!
MIKIO xiulan, changho, gahee, maja...
MIKIO *looks at smudged writing on hand* ...and hyunjae!

 

MAJA i'm gay.
CHANGHO water's wet. we're talented. Gahee is cute.
MAJA what
CHANGHO sorry, i thought we were listing obvious things
GAHEE did you say i'm cute?

 

MIKIO quick! Xiulan is losing a lot of blood! she needs a blood infusion. what's her blood type?
HYUNTAE B positive
MIKIO I'M TRYING BUT SHE'S LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD

 

MIKIO everyone, what color is maja's shirt?
XIULAN gray.
CHANGHO gray.
GAHEE gray.
MIKIO uh-huh. now, maja, tell them what color you said your shirt was.
MAJA ....dark white.

 

XIULAN can you pass me the pepper?
GAHEE what's the magic word~
XIULAN 
XIULAN *begins chanting in latin*
GAHEE, PANICKING JUST TAKE IT OH MY GOD

 

MIKIO, LOSING MAJA IN A STORE have you seen my daughter?
MIKIO average height, blonde and black hair, brown eyes.
MIKIO clearly gay but we haven't had the talk.
 

CROSS-OVER/COLLABS

 

VIVIENNE why are you smiling?
GAHEE what? can't i just be happy?
MOONJAE Neoguri tripped and fell in the parking lot

 

KAYLA son, can you pass me the butter?
SUMMIT *reaches for the butter*
CHANGHO *also reaches for the butter*
TAI *running in through the door, a stick of butter in hand* you needed me, mom?

 

LEGION why is tai on the counter?
IAN he likes to be tall.

 

[jr does something embarassing]
ASHLYN i can't believe i'm gonna sleep with him
KAYLA well you don't have to
ASHLYN nah, i'm gonna

 

KAYLA you think I ENJOY being the den mother to all of you?
SUMMIT 
ZURI 
CAMILLE 
IAN 
TAI 
CHANGHO 
GAHEE 
MAJA 
KAYLA okay fine, it's like crack to me

 

LEGION hello, people who do not live here
MARELAINE hey.
LUSHI hi.
JUNJIE hello.
BOLIN hey!
LEGION i gave you the key for emergencies!
DESHI we were out of doritos

 

FLY i have to pee but i'm too lazy...
MYSTIC looks like urine trouble
FLY 
CHERRIES 
HEXAGON 
MNET 
CAMILLE *throws herself on the floor with a squeaky laugh in the distance*

 

KAYLA why would you give a knife to a child????
MYSTIC changho felt unsafe.
KAYLA now i feel unsafe!
MYSTIC i'm sorry

MYSTIC ... would you like a knife

 

NEOGURI alright, so you and i are married.
VIVIENNE we are not married.
NEOGURI relax, it's just pretend.
VIVIENNE i don't wanna pretend.
NEOGURI scared you'll like it?
VIVIENNE okay, if we're married, i want a divorce.
XIULAN are you two like this all the time?
MOONJAE yes, they are.

 

MARELAINE *flirts with summit*
CAMILLE *staring at them silently*
FLY you're really quiet today, sister
CAMILLE *still staring* nobody plans a murder out loud.

 

MYSTIC, BANGING THE DOOR changho! open up!
CHANGHO well, it all started when i was a kid...
MOONJAE no, he meant-
KAYLA let him finish.

 

SUMMIT good morning
ZURI good morning
FLY morning
CAMILLE you guys sound like robots- try spicing it up a bit.
MYSTIC, WALKING IN MORNING WRETCHES!

*all credits go out to the original posters of these quotes*

 

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「MINTLEAF DESIGNS」