A/n: I just wanted to do a little something, write something for Jinri, for today which is very hard for many people who loved her, so this is a place to gather my thoughts and express them as best I can. 

Dear, Jinri

I almost can’t believe that it has now been a full year since we received that devastating news about your passing. Sometimes, it still doesn’t even feel real, like I’ll wake up and you’ll still be here. But it’s real, and still real, even though it’s been a full year now. I know, for most people they couldn’t understand that I could grieve so much for someone I didn’t know. I truly did and do grieve you, and feel your loss still to this day, and I don’t suspect it will go away.

Maybe perhaps because you were and still are one of my ultimate favorites, that will not change.

Maybe because I was a fan so long that it did feel like I knew you, or at the least I related to you very much, and always wanted the best for you.

Dear, Jinri

I am sorry but for so long it was very difficult to even watch or play your music without bursting into tears. I felt ashamed at times that I couldn’t at the least listen to your voice without being sad, sad because I miss you, and sad because I wish things could have turned out differently. I can now listen these days without immediately bursting into tears, but it’s still there. I don’t suspect I will ever permanently be over your loss or what has happened to you. 

I don’t want this letter to be fully sad, however. Though today is a sad day for many of us who loved you so much. You are still an inspiration, that reminds me to be a better person or as better a person I can be. It’s always a work in progress but I am more mindful, and try my best. 

I want to think of all the good things about you, about your lovely personality, kind spirit, and beautiful smile, which I do. I do think of all those good things and though it’s difficult to not be sad, extra sad today of all days, I just hope you know you’re being thought about, cared about, and missed greatly.

Dear, Jinri 

I love you, your fans love you, your close friends still in life, your family, all who love and miss you, will all be dealing with this day in whatever way we can, coping as best as we are able. I just wanted you to know that, you’re always loved no matter what, and will not ever be forgotten. I know I personally could not ever forget you.

I really still can’t believe it’s been a year or that I’m even writing this, but it’s been a year, and I am writing this. It’s been a year and it’s all still fresh, unreal, and yet real all at the same time. 

Dear, Jinri

I just wanted you express this, something to you, at least on this very difficult day, because it was one of the few things I could do, to honor you, and keep your memory alive, other than to keep trying my best to be a better person as I can, so thank you for being an inspiration to me, in many ways. Thank you for everything you’ve done, not just in your career but in life too, and being someone women and girls could look up to. 

Just thank you, I know that’s probably not enough but thank you.

You are always loved

You’re always missed and cared for

You’re never forgotten and you never will be forgotten 

Dear, Jinri 

I love you 

Always your fan,

    And thank you 

A/N: it’s not much but this was very difficult to write the longer I wrote and I had to pause a few times because it did get difficult and it’s always hard on any anniversary day of someone’s death, especially someone you cared about or had an impact on your life, so I know it’s not just me who is having a hard time, I am however glad I did at least write something since it was the least I can do. Thank you for reading