life update + status on kpop

hello *waggles eyebrows* i am back. or more specifically, i never left. anyway i have not been doing much on aff, only checking it like every few days or something because school is a , but i thought i'd let some ppl know what's been going on in my life even though no one asked because why would they lol.

 

school

it going. it going and it just don't stop. i have quite a free schedule compared to last year (both sems) but somehow i'm more stressed and overworked than last year? partly because i'm also a TA for a chinese class lol so there's a lot to do there. it said 40 hours per semester but i feel like i'll go over? idk lol. maybe i just need to schedule my time more wisely. that's something i've been saying since high school and i still can't do it.

as we all know i am a physics major and a very bad one at that. if anyone is good with special relativity, please contact me because i am literally dying in this class. it's my first class and i, having gotten somewhere around 4.5 hours of sleep for the past few weeks, always fall asleep in it. it also does not help that my professor's voice is the literal boringest voice ever. like he's a nice dude, but he's really not that interesting in terms of explaining the stuff and i'm like ...... yeah....

on the other hand i am taking a creative writing class and it's pretty okay right now. i have problems with my writing though and i have never felt it more. as with aff and ao3, no one in class comments on my pieces either *that sad eyebrow emoji* but it's fine. that's what i'm taking the class for lol. it just ing sometimes because i can't view my own stuff from an objective point of view and idk if that's because i can't or because i don't want to.

all in all, it could be worse. it could always be worse.

 

kpop

i am still very much in love with mister jung yunho, but i am also very much in love with mister qian kun (and ten, at that). my newest obsession is kun, ten, and kunten. no, i will not elaborate, nor will i recount the slow but sure progression of my obsession for kun (courtesy of my friend annie @marshybleep who never comes on here anymore so i can say this without fear). 

i listen to kpop when i do work because i work quicker and more efficiently when i am motivated by listening to songs that i am familiar with. however, that does not necessarily mean i am still, so to say, 'into' kpop. i think i've said this a lot, but kpop just doesn't do much for me anymore. the only things keeping me tethered here and to kpop in general is tvxq, now kunten, plus a bunch of other scattered groups/ships/people, and my undying ability to unable develop characters so i write solely with people whose personalities i have already filled in inside my head. aka, kpop idols and my canon of them.

fandom culture never ceases to annoy me, though there are times when it's heartwarming. the entertainment industry never ceases to disgust me, and i am just done with trying to keep up with stuff and have other fans tell me i lol. what determines a 'real fan', can you tell me? is it spending all my life savings on them? spending all my time on them? good ing god, people, get a damn life.

chiefly directed to the delusional kids on twitter, but take it as you will. point is, kpop culture no longer really appeals to me. maybe i'm getting old (annie keeps telling me there's a reason i bias kun and it's because i am him lol) but there's just no point spending so much time and energy on something that won't give back. of course it brings me joy, which is why i spend time on it at all, but realistically, school is much more important than kpop, and.... yeah i'm old lol.

 

life in general

news flash, it's not going! the weather's been nice so i've been trying to get my friends to do smth together but when we do, i end up procrastinating even worse lol. not that i don't procrastinate badly in the first place lol. i have zero ing motivation to do work or to write and i'm just dragging myself through what i have to do because i have to do it. i don't enjoy anything i do, unless it's like food, kpop, or any other escape mechanism. but there's always that alarm in the back of my head telling me i'm ing myself over, and of course it's always right.

i need to have more self-control. i have to beat the out of my own pleasure center and do my work before i have fun. but that's hard :( and painful :( and i don't wanna. but i sort of gotta.

 

writing

pretty much everything that i said i'd do, i will not do. not right now, at least lol. and yes, that's referring to the one story i said i'd fix up (all the lovely dead ones) but ended up hating more the more i looked at it. what i will do instead, however, is this:

1. nct battle royale
- based on the book battle royale but takami koushun
- ot21 (planned this before sungchan and shotaro were revealed + don't know them well enough; maybe they'll get cameos)
- kunten main, also focus a few others (undecided)

2. random tvxq oneshots
- as if i don't already do this lol
- gonna try to go back to tvxq x pacific rim

3. random fantasy
- i miss fantasy
- new ideas and old ideas; very tempting
- need to be less scared to start + need to worldbuild properly

my priority, i think, is nct battle royale. mostly because if need be i can always base it off the book so there's no pressure. also mostly because i love kunten so much rn lol.

if yall want to give me more ideas (for anything; nct, tvxq, fantasy, other groups) or just to cheer me up, my dumb curiouscat is here. yes i hate twitter, yes i have a twitter for being trash, no i do not use it, yes i may use it to promote my writing but i don't have enough confidence to do so rn lol.

 

extra: bias groups/biases

these are in no particular order:
- tvxq (yunho)
- shinhwa (hyesung)
- infinite (sunggyu)
- exo (baekhyun)
- wayv (kun)
- ftisland (hongki)
- dreamcatcher (handong/gahyeon/dami)
- etc....

non kpop groups/artists to check out:
- sekai no owari
- one ok rock
- kano (example)
- aki阿杰 (example)
- 伦桑 (example)
- 银临 (example)
- 萧忆情Alex (example)
- 三无Marblue (example)
- 西瓜Jun (example)
- KBShinya (example)
- 排骨教主 (example)
- Braska (example)
- 以冬 (example)

thanks for putting up with my very obvious plugs for my favorite (and mostly underrated) artists ;))

 

extra: i love kunten

seriously they're like the kind of relationship i want to have. look, kun is chinese, he doesn't really express affection with words, and love by action is harder to catch on camera. ten is ing flirty and hell, by the way kun looks at him, man's wHIPPED (though tbf who isn't????). they're like, the typical tsundere couple? and the way they act with each other is totally different from the way they act alone and the dynamic is so ing eruhjrdkexsfd makes me want to scream and laugh and cry and clutch my heart and go 'please kiss kiss fall in love'.

kun is sassy as but he has to hold it back with the kids. meanwhile ten is soft as alone but he exists solely to annoy kun. but it's in the way kun puts up with it and how ten pushes the line but never crosses it. it's in the way ten looks to kun whenever he's not sure about something or needs comfort and how kun looks to him even before that because he knows. it's in the way they act disgusted by each other but their eyes are all curvy and sparkly and they keep doing it. it's in the way ten leads the chaos and kun stands there helpless but amused and how kun leads the group and ten brings up the back. 

alright i'm going to stop because that was cringey but no one ing plagiarize that because it may or may not show up in a story later on lol. 

anyway my point is, kunten best bois. i could literally go on but i'm ing hungry, class ended half an hour ago, and i need to pee.

Comments

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HiRitu
#1
HI HELLO I MISSED YOU
Suhyo07
#2
Most of the non-kpop artists ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Skyful_Poof
#3
did i just read this blog twice because it more or less entertained me?





yes

yes i did



Anywaysssssss

Don't stress out and I hope all your classes go well, you can do it!

And yeah, I get why you feel that way about kpop. Everything new - whether its the media or the immature and toxic people (looking at you, twitter users, well, most of them i guess) - it's just so wrong and annoying and frustrating and im sick of seeing these "wars" and whatever like s t o p i t T.T i miss the old days when everything was chill T.T

tbh life for me has been pretty trash too T.T my school has their weird dividing-the-students-into-two-groups system so i don't see my friends at all T.T

wow look at you planning out your writing while im still struggling to rewrite my older stories so that i can FINALLY release my latest story which i absolutely adore and love because its the one story im most proud of T.T

ah yes, kunten - the superior ship T.T



<333

(i hope you peed)