신푸르나래 IS READY TO RETURN

shin pureunarae

shin pureunarae

day6
hurt road

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the face

nicknames.

pureun / a shortened version of her name used by her friends in tongyeong. she had never considered offering a nickname as an alternative to her rather long name, since she liked her full name, but it was the friend group who had suggested it, having eventually grown tired of busting out all four syllables each time they wanted her. junghee used it first and it quickly caught on.
narae / this is the other shortened version of her name that is exclusive to her career in seoul. one of her co-stars suggested it and pureunarae just went with it, but soon she found the distinction between it and pureun fitting. unconsciously, the two different abbreviations start to form into two different personas. narae is a hot new rookie actor in seoul whose drama roles aren't the only things she hides behind, and pureun is home, which admittedly encompasses both comfort and burden, but is ultimately an undeniable solace.

place of birth. tongyeong, south korea

uality. heteroual

languages.
korean , 100% / mothertongue
english , 75% / she studied diligently throughout high school and took a couple of classes in university as well. she continues to learn even now, wanting to be well prepared for any english-speaking scenes they might throw at her. her pronunciation is on the better side and she improves by the day, studying hard to sort of make up for the education she ditched in order to pursue her dreams.

appearance.

jiho in nonstop era - silky, black hair that comes down to her waist, typically tied in a low ponytail or held back by thick fabric headbands or big jewel-encrusted hairpins. she doesn't really wear makeup on her own, so when it's up to her, she just fills in her brows and pats on some concealer if she needs it.

style.

refer here for visualization. pureun's style falls somewhere between cute old grandma and the embodiment of a coffee shop. lots of beiges and browns, midi skirts, knits, dainty earrings.

the core

personality.

(+) helpful, responsible, caring, diligent

{ phlegmatic, self-declining, cool-headed, introverted }

uncommunicative, apathetic, reserved, detached (-)

everyone can agree that shin pureunarae is shy. she's quiet, nice, definitely introverted, and maybe a little boring, but overall a pretty likeable person. other than that, people don't really have much more to say about her, and that's mostly because they don't know what else there is. pureun is extremely reserved and uncommunicative about her inner thoughts and feelings, initially because she's naturally shy, but later because of certain events that cause her to start becoming very emotionally detached. she's always been timid in expressing her emotions, but as she grows older, she almost seems apathetic, and that's because she is, somewhat. it's a weird side effect of her caring nature, namely towards her family, and it drives her to push aside her own needs so she can tend to those around her. she's very self-declining when it comes to her family, wanting to be as helpful to them as she can, and this behavior towards her family bleeds out into her other relationships, too. she's always helping out in the background, noticing little things, silently aiding her friends and subtly showing her muted affection for them while keeping a phlegmatic disposition. no one ever really knows what she's thinking, and it doesn't help that she's always so cool-headed - never too flustered or riled up or angered by anything, always being neutral in conflict, inconclusive in the age-old question of mom or dad. sometimes her friends will wonder to themselves if she's possibly a robot, programmed to be a peacemaker, a perfect daughter, a diligent student...just because she seems so on top of things. not that she's extremely organized and successful, but because she's so responsible. she's got a family to take care of, an education to keep up, financial problems to worry about, grandparents to check in with, etc. it's not like she goes through an exceptionally larger number of trials than any of her other friends, but she just never lets it show that it gets to her. she works hard in everything that she's given and always seems so put together, but of course, you can't believe everything you see.

background.

1998

shin pureunarae is born unto a humble little family who finds themselves on the cusp of lower middle class and upper lower class. they live in one of the more cozier, slightly rural neighborhoods or tongyeong and are well taken care of by their community, so pureunarae is warmly welcomed into this world. her father, shin kangtae, is an engineer and shin dodam, her mother, a piano teacher - both appreciated careers, but not at high enough standings to make the shin family entirely well off. things are also complicated by their firstborn, pureunarae's older sister, shin boreum, who is born with autism spectrum disorder. her parents had always felt like something was different about her, but the signs start becoming more prominent once dodam is pregnant with pureunarae. it's a daunting reality to accept, but the couple is each other's ultimate support system, and they get through it together, with the help of friends and family. pureunarae is born healthy and happy. she's a timid, shy little baby, but the joy she brings to her family is undeniable.

2003

even as a newborn, pureunarae had already somewhat established her personality as calm and reserved. she didn't cry as much as other babies, she hid behind her mom's leg a lot, she preferred to stay by her sister's side instead of saying hi to other kids. but with her mother having connections all throughout tongyeong with her piano lessons, it was inevitable for her to meet new people. this was the foremost method for pureunarae to make friends - through the lessons her mom held at her center or at people's houses. dodam and kangtae combined had a pretty wide network, leading to pureunarae meeting acquaintances early on, like eunbyul and eunho. they all simply remain acquaintances, though, due to pureunarae's introvert nature and her inclination from a young age to take care of her sister.

it took a little while for pureunarae to realize her older sister wasn't your typical older sister. she had never seen boreum as particularly different, but as she grew older and more aware of her surroundings, she noticed that what she grew up with as normal wasn't what everyone else thought was normal. this didn't deter her much, since she loved her sister, and had always been fine with it just being the two of them. thus, much of her childhood was spent like that - pureun and boreum, holding hands, doing chores, playing with dolls on the patio, etc. rarely does she have playdates with other kids her age - maybe a birthday party or two here and there, but otherwise, she's usually found alongside boreum. her parents can't help but worry a little - they want pureun to go make some friends her own age and they don't want boreum to become too reliant on her younger sister.

2008

their concerns seem to intensify once pureun enters middle school. by this point, it seems like nothing much has changed since their two daughters were just 5 and 7. but now, their youngest is already in 5th grade - a stage in the education system where school life becomes more pertinent to personal life. the two sisters are still pretty unseparable, even with boreum being homeschooled, and dodam and kangtae start to foster a concern for pureun's school life. it's conflicting, to say the least, because they're utterly grateful to have been blessed with such an obedient, diligent daughter who takes such good care of her sister, but they worry about how her social skills are developing. she's always been rather reserved, which gives them more reason to wonder what's really going on in her head - does she even want to make friends? does she feel out of place at school? is she being excluded?

but their fears are relieved one day when pureun comes home. it's only been about a couple months since she's started 5th grade and it all seems to be just so-so to her, but she returns from school one day looking a little brighter than usual. it's almost unnoticeable and the nonchalant way in which she brings it up doesn't help either. at dinner, she simply asks, "some friends wanted to hang out tomorrow...is it okay if i go?" permission is swiftly given, and then her parents realize what they just heard. "you- you made friends??" they don't want to make it a huge deal and weird her out, so they try to convey their constipated emotions of excitement and encouragement in restraint. looking back, though, they might regret not having made it a big deal, seeing how casual she became about relationships.

she is pretty excited, though, in the beginning. as an 11 year old, she's already spent a good amount of years feeling out of place in various social situations, namely school, but this is the first time she's been placed in front of the opportunity to escape that suffocation! it all happens so easily, so naturally. pureun usually eats lunch by herself, but suddenly...she's not. a tray slides into the seat across from her and hovers until she looks up to face its owner. junghee smiles down at her - "hi, can we sit with you?" pureun is silent, slightly taken aback, and a little confused at the 'we', until two figures appear in her peripherals. a guy comes up on her right, giving a smile of authority and confidence (as much as a 5th grader can), and a girl appears next to junghee, her lack of expression coming off as a little reluctant, but not entirely intimidating. pureun is still shocked and wonders for a second if they're actually talking to her. up until now, no one has ever really approached her like this, whether it was because they were daunted by her shyness or simply uninterested. but this girl's eyes are so bright, so eager, and her friends seem welcoming (to an extent), and something deep inside pureun stirs - hope?

2010

the friend group continues to grow throughout the next couple years, and though pureun acts pretty nonchalant with each addition, her heart grows a little bit more each time. these friends definitely pave the way for pureun to potentially blossom into a bright, good-humored girl. the more she spends time with them and the more their group dynamic begins to develop, the more comfortable she grows in her own skin. it's not much, since she's still naturally reserved and quiet, and if you asked any of the friends, they probably wouldn't have much to say in corroboration of this so-called brightness, but on the inside, pureun genuinely loves hanging out with her friends.

even if it's not directly applicable to each one of them, she feels like they're the first people who've ever welcomed her, invited her, really tried to get to know her, were willing to deal with her innate reticency. honestly, the only person who truly did all that was junghee (pureun had just always caught her eye - she studied alone, she ate alone, she read books alone during recess...she was always alone. and junghee being junghee couldn't just watch that happen, which is why she approached her at lunch!), but the rest of the group is appreciated by association. pureun is still quite the background character when it comes to the group dynamic, but she's definitely a part of it, as proved through the ways they acknowledge her and include her. they give her hoodies and heat packs during the winter, they suggest bread for dessert knowing how much she loves it, they ask if boreum wants to come along on some hangouts, etc. reciprocative of pureun's quiet nature, the group tends to silently look after her in return for the little ways she shows that she is a friend, too.

2012

all prospects of pureun blooming into a mature, happy woman with the help of her friends are pretty much stamped out, though, once her father passes away. shin kangtae loses his life in a car accident on the way home from work, and the ladies of the shin family are left in shambles, even though it's his body in the wreckage. dodam, having lost her first and only love, her greatest support system, her life partner, almost completely falls apart. she had always been strong and optimistic, but that was because she had kangtae as her better half. she is very close to falling into depression, her physical state becomes a lot weaker, and she stops lessons for a while until she realizes it's the family's only source of income. she starts looking for other part-time jobs to support her and her two daughters (and also so she can stop relying on her parents, pureun's grandparents), and is able to find a couple, but that doesn't help her physical health. she becomes frailer and the consequences of age start to take their toll on her. boreum notices the change in her mother, and though they do their best to explain to her what death means, pureun can tell she's confused. her disorder causes a delay in the processing of some of her emotions. so while dodam grieves right away, boreum searches for answers. where did he go? why can't he come back? what happened to him? who is going to teach me math now? who is going to drive me to the park and the ice rink and the market? she has practical questions, all of which pureun finds herself trying to answer to the best of her abilities.

it's important to understand that this 'logic-first' response does not mean she is not sad - she will cry later on, even lash out in anger and confusion that is misdirected to her family, but this is just how her mind works. however, in trying her best to cater to her sister's needs, pureun finds herself feeling, in a way, just as pragmatic. it seems that in her attempt to make sure boreum's understanding and mental state is being taken account for, she neglects her own. and maybe that's where it starts. pureun starts becoming very emotionally detached after her father's death. she sees how broken her mother is, how disoriented her sister is, and decides that she's got to step up and take care of them. she's still young and she has so much time left to spend just being a kid - goofing off and getting into the sort of trouble you can easily blame on your age - but pureunarae finds herself maturing faster than others. the youngest shin garners up the most initiative she's ever garnered and single-handedly takes on the duty of carrying her family through this loss.

2013

with all this on her shoulders, pureun's personality goes down quite a different path. originally, her friend group could've led her to be more lively and responsive, but after her father dies, any progress towards that retracts completely and she closes in on herself. part of it is, as she's so determinedly declared, because she feels the need to prioritize her family's wellbeing (Even if that means forsaking her own), but deep down, a fear is forming that if she opens up her heart more, it will only create room for more hurt. as a result, she becomes effectively more distant from her friends. she doesn't want to completely cut ties with them, since that feels a little too dramatic, but in retrospect, a little part of her wonders if that would've been better, both for her and them. if she had totally cut herself off, maybe they wouldn't be disappointed by her lack of effort in investing in friendships. maybe they would've felt less of a burden without her in the back of their minds. maybe she would've been left with less regrets, maybe she would've saved herself from the sorrow that enveloped her each time she turned down an opportunity to grow closer to her friends.

she gradually starts making more and more excuses about why she can't go out, and conversation, though never not entertaining, is always kept at surface level because she doesn't want to bother them with her problems or make it seem like she can't handle them on her own. it's around this time, the beginning of high school, that she starts gaining an interest in acting. a lot of her friends and classmates and even her mom, sometimes, spend their time watching dramas, and pureun finds herself getting in by the riveting plots and charismatic characters. it becomes a catharsis for her - seeing these people be so obvious and bold with their emotions. as she continues to become more and more reticent with her own, her desire to be like them grows. to be able to be so candid with your thoughts and feelings and be applauded for it. it's a secret dream of hers that festers inside her all throughout high school, almost as a fantasy because she figures it's an unreachable goal, especially since she isn't working towards it intensely like some of her other friends are working towards their dreams. part of her is envious of her ambitious friends, who can all say so proudly what they want to do and become (like raon and eunbyul), while all she can do is stay silent out of fear that it will have been said for naught.

2015

her first tiny step towards freedom (and possibly this dream!) is taken in her move to seoul. up until now, enough time has passed that dodam has sort of sobered up from all the grief she was struck with, and she's been able to see how hard pureun has worked to keep this family on it's feet. she feels a lot of guilt and sadness seeing how quickly her little girl had to grow up, and though it's an extremely hard decision to make, she gives pureun permission to go to school away from home. she sees how guarded her youngest child has become over just a couple years and feels partially responsible for it, so she wants to be able to give her the chance to blossom in a lively city environment surrounded by people and opportunities. pureun hasn't really thought about it too much, but once she's given the option, she realizes just how much she wants to get out of here. as much as she loves her family, being their self-designated caretaker has been a mentally and physically exhausting endeavor, and she's started harboring a sort of bitterness and burden when it comes to them. she just wants to get away - so she does.

she hadn't been the most oustanding student in high school, but her grades were definitely not bad, so she gets accepted to an average-ranked university in seoul, aided by various scholarships she applied for. she spends the first few years studying hard, but for what, she's not really sure. her major stays ambiguous for a while, but she takes classes with a focus in areas like psychology, sociology, family relations, child development, etc. she doesn't exactly blossom like her mom had wished, instead just staying in (rare) contact with her friends from tongyeong, visiting home every once in a while, and feeling like she's back in middle school when no one approached her.

2018

throughout her first years in seoul, pureun's interest in acting is still present, and it slowly starts to emerge since she doesn't have as much holding her back anymore. she'll find herself trying to act out memorable scenes when she's in the dorm by herself or timidly looking into courses at her school in that department, but 2018 is when she takes her most gutsy step. there's an open audition near her, and in an uncharacteristic moment of zeal, she tries out. and like a miracle, a real dream come true, she gets the part. they tell her they see potential in her, they offer training, they discuss contracts - life is taking a complete 180, and pureun has never been so overjoyed yet in disbelief. she doesn't tell anyone right away and only ends up notifying her mom a few days after because of logistics, like signing with an agency and dropping out of school.

maybe it's because everything is happening so abruptly and they're both just so overwhelmed, but dodam pretty much rambles out her consent, bewildered, and away pureun is whisked - into a world so different from her previous humble one, into a dream she feels like she's going to wake up from any time now, into a new lifestyle, where she suddenly finds herself being called narae instead of pureun. it's unfamiliar and a little off-putting after so long of having not been called by that part of her name, but she sees it as fitting and very representative of this new journey. it's something that was never really acknowledged back in tongyeong, but is now exposed to the world as something that's always been a part of her.

narae's debut drama is a huge hit in south korea (think sky castle! her role would be equivalent to yeseo), loved and recognized by all ages for it's relatable storyline and dramatic elements and, most importantly, it's talented cast. there are a couple other rookies in the cast, but narae is the only newbie, and she gains a lot of attention for the skills that landed her a main role despite no prior experience. the cast goes on a number of talk shows and reality shows following the airing of the drama, many of them land commercial deals (including pureun - for a beverage launch!), and narae is even invited to be an mc on a music broadcast show. she had never thought she would do things like this, but she had also never thought she could be this happy again. she feels like how she first felt when the friend group was forming - every day was new and exciting and she seemed brighter than usual. of course, she's still a little shy and reserved and she declines numerous offers to hang out outside of shoots, but slowly, she's starting to come out of her shell again, though she remains to be hindered by the same fears that stopped her before.

likes.
bread a huge bbangsooni! resisting bread was the plight of her diet journey and it still remains her guilty pleasure and the main cause of the baby fat on her cheeks.
summer fruits she likes fruits in general, but many of her favorites seem to flourish in the summer season - strawberries, peaches, watermelon, raspberries, cherries...to name a few.
asmr she'll often listen to it when she's trying to fall asleep or when she's doing busy work or chores. she listens to a lot of roleplay asmrs and doesn't like the ear cleaning ones.
simulations don't really know what other word to use to describe her affinity for things like roleplay asmr, escape rooms (she's yet to go to a real one but likes playing the games on her phone), pop-up museum experiences, the fantasy genre, theme parks, etc. she loves anything that makes it feel like she's in a different world! which can also probably explain her passion for acting
bubble tea the question is always - to get a milk tea or a fruit tea ??

dislikes.

coffee she doesn't really like the drink (especially not americanos!) and will only drink its sweet varieties if she's offered it.
drinking not only does she dislike the idea of being drunk and disoriented, she just doesn't like the taste of any alcohol. she can't understand how people can get past the taste just for the buzz. this plain dislike has actually proved rather unexpectedly problematic, as she is aware of the drinking culture in korea and at things like company dinners (or in her case, cast dinners) and doesn't want to be disrespectful but also doesn't want to be forced to do something she doesn't want to do. up to now, she hasn't faced much issue with politely declining her sunbaes, but she continues to be weary.
sweating though she may enjoy summer for the fruits and nonstop ice cream weather and refreshing noodle dishes, pureun strongly dislikes sweating. it makes her feel icky and more often than not ruins her outfits!
skinny jeans pureun probably only has 2 pairs of pants total in her closet and they're either wide leg or not denim. she just finds jeans confining and prefers roomy skirts that provide the same amount of coverage! even in winter, she'll just layer with stockings or high socks. oh also she owns one (1) pair of sweats for lounging that no one has actually ever seen.
ketchup pureun strongly despises ketchup. the taste, the texture, just its existence is disgusting to her, and she won't eat a fry that even touches the sauce in the slightest bit. she actually just dislikes tomatoes in general, with an exception for tomato/marinara sauce because pizza <3

habits.

playing with her fingers it could be fiddling with them, picking at hangnails, drumming them on a table...she does it when she's nervous, when she's scared, when she's excited, when she's bored. there are different tells for each emotion, but they're quite subtle and not noticeable unless you really care about her and really look.
saying she's okay her automatic response to anyone worrying about her - whether it's just a question of if she wants a different drink to match her preferences or if it's a deeper query of how she's doing mentally, pureun will always say she's fine. most of the time, it's because she really is! but oftentimes, it's just because she doesn't want to go into detail.
covering when she laughs probably one of the biggest tells to her withdrawn personality. it's a common habit for shy people, pureun being no exception, the general reasoning being that she's not comfortable expressing such a bold reaction. the laughs she hides can range, though, from shy giggles to unexpected bursts.

hobbies.

embroidery she picked it up after becoming an actress and finding that she didn't know what to do with her free time. she usually just does it on hoops but she also wants to venture into clothing!
reading webtoons she typically reads from the romance genre and she frequents the fantasy genre as well, and recently she's been getting into mystery/thrillers as well! brings spice to her otherwise mundane life lmao but also makes her regret living alone sometimes
candy crush the only game that has been consistently on her phone since about the latter half of high school and her second guilty pleasure after bread. she's on level 2000 something, but she's a little embarrassed to expose that fact.

trivia.

❀ her mother being a piano teacher, pureun couldn't help but pick up a few skills here and there. she never took serious lessons, but she's pretty good! she knows a few songs and generally remembers all the keys, so if she wanted to learn a new song, she probably could.
❀ she lives in a quaint apartment by herself in jangchungdong, seoul
❀ she is quite the decent cook, having had to figure out many meals for her mother and sister back in tongyeong and now having to take care of herself in seoul. she eats pretty light, generally, and is the type to eat smaller portions multiple times throughout the day.
❀ her hands get cold easily, so she does sweater paws a lot, which is easy with her wardrobe of knits and cardigans.

❀ currently, she is under namoo actors, and has been in 2 dramas and one webdrama, done cf's for an online market, a beverage company, and baskin robbins, and been an mc for music bank with ab6ix donghyun.

the relationships

lee junghee. (best?) friend. 22.

쩡희 💞 pUREUN so can you come bowling tomorrow ???

ahh junghee! i'm...still not too sure...

umma's just recovering from her cold and

i'm worried about boreum unni... 푸푸 💓

쩡희 💞 ah...but you didn't come out to

our last hangout either!! :( i'll come

deliver some hanyak to your mom if it

means you can come plaaaaaay

mmmmm... 푸푸 💓

쩡희 💞 PWEAAASE

l o l

for you junghee :') 푸푸 💓

pureun felt the closest to junghee out of the whole group. she didn't know her the longest, but junghee's contagious smile and natural amiability helped the normally distant girl feel comfortable rather quickly. she was the bridge between pureun and all the other members of the friend group, creating opportunities for pureun to get to know them and spend time with them, always making sure she wasn't forgotten when making plans, never failing to at least ask pureun if she was available even if the rest of the group was pretty sure she would decline. as per her role as the core of the group, junghee consistently reached out to pureun, never being discouraged by the countless rejected invites. instead, she was, in contrast to anything pureun ever could've imagined, more motivated to keep asking and decided to relish the moments that pureun was with the group rather than cogitate on the times she wasn't.

junghee was unlike any other person pureun had ever met - she made her want to open up, want to be trusting and trusted, want to go and hang out with friends. in many ways, she instigates change in pureun's life. when she's alive, pureun learns what it looks like to invest in a friendship and she has a hint of what it feels like to actually want to. through her death, pureun is urged to come to terms with lots of things she had since been neglecting. she thinks about her late friend as a means of research, almost, learning from the way junghee had treated her to see how she should now try to treat those around her. in this way, even after she's gone from this world, junghee continues to have a positive impact on pureun, which is quite representative of the bright girl's entire existence.

pureun has never really called anyone her best friend, but as time passes and things happen, she realizes if she were to give anyone that title, it would've been junghee. of everyone in the group, junghee had been the one to pursue and invest in pureun the most, being one of the only people in her life to show her what a mutual friendship could possibly look like. of course, it didn't quite get there because pureun had no idea how to reciprocate, and her appreciation for junghee's effort came a little belated, but it seems to pay off in the long run as pureun reminisces on junghee's pure heart and intentions in an attempt to become a better friend herself.

heo raon. friend. 22.

hey raon, i have your keychain if you

were wondering where it went! 푸른

라온 oh, what? why do you have it?

i saw it on the floor after you

left so i picked it up haha

but you were already gone by then so i'll

give it to you tomorrow at lunch :) 푸른

라온 cool, i thought i'd lost it

thanks a lot pureun

no problem! it looks like a painting,

so probably very special to you 푸른

라온 yeah, it's a dot painting from this artist

i really like, but it's kind of revolutionary

because they've never dabbled in this style before

makes me want to try something like this

the technique is so out there compared to her typical methods

typing...

these two are both completely different and so similar at the same time. their main difference lies in raon's boldness in expressing her opinions and thoughts and things she believes to be true and pureun's respective inclination to be silent about all those things. in pureun's eyes, raon knows what she wants and knows who she is - she's been passionate about art since the beginning and pureun strongly respects and admires how fervently she's fought for this dream because meanwhile, here she is, pretending she's okay, having no idea what she wants to do with her life, possessing no more ambition or emotion. they're similar in the way their first impressions by other people all fall in the lines of 'aloof', 'distant', 'unapproachable', etc. they're both pretty quiet, kind of the 'only spoken when spoken to' type, which means they did not get very close in the beginning (or at all, really...). neither one of them was all too enthusiastic to initiate converation with the other, but junghee ultimately bridges the distance between them, and they cultivate quite a civil relationship. they're not the best of friends, but they grow to enjoy each other's presence, just because it's calming and (as time passes) comfortable.

in the beginning, pureun's at the stage of her life where she's a little more bright and joyful, so she's able to be a little more initiative (after junghee pushes them both), which in turn causes raon to let down her guard a little, and the two are able to become significant enough in each others' lives. getting to know each other at a young age and having the years to put to their friendship definitely helps as they each mature and grow more secretive about their inner turmoils. maybe it's because they both do it, but deep down they feel that connection with each other as two individuals who are emotionally constipated, so though their bond is silent, it's there. pureun has thought more than once that if they really just sat down and talked, they'd probably find that they relate with each other on a lot more things than they would think. but alas, they are both too stubborn in their reticent ways. hopefully after pureun returns with her newfound motivation to be more expressive, raon can be encouraged to try to do the same and ask for help before the very last second.

kim muyeol. friend. 21.

보스 무열 pureun, it's been a while! how are u doing??

muyeol ! hey...you know i'm working with the actual

kim muyeol in a webseries right now ??!! 푸른 🍃

보스 무열 what the...what do you mean the

actual kim muyeol. am i not real

hahaha you know what i mean~ it's good to hear from

you though :') i'm okay, what about you? 푸른 🍃

muyeol always felt like an older brother to pureun - the older brother with an of over 10 years who you're not really close to but you're cordial with and you know cares for you...somewhat. pureun has told herself (possibly just in an attempt to convince herself) many times that the things muyeol says to her most likely come from a good place, even if it comes off a little strong-willed. his personality is quite fast-paced compared to her and she can tell that he sometimes gets frustrated at the seemingly indifferent way she tends to live life and deal with problems, but it's mostly because he doesn't know the inner workings of her mind. she can't blame him, though, since she's never opened up to him about those deeper thoughts, and he doesn't seem to let it get in the way of them having a pleasant friendship. pureun figures he always means well (admittedly giving him the benefit of the doubt even when he may not deserve it) and he knows she's still a good person, despite not being able to understand why she is the way she is sometimes.

the root of this is mostly in the fact that he doesn't think she's dim enough to not have thoughts, but when she's around the group, she's always so closed off and pretends like nothing really bothers her. her nonchalant reticency frustrates him as someone so assertive in his opinions and expressions. because she's rather unexpressive about everything, it makes him wonder about things like if she's disregarding her personal issues or whether she really likes the friend group at all, and he's found himself coming to a lot of baseless assumptions about her throughout the years. this really isn't his fault, since she doesn't give him anything to work with, and ultimately, she just brings a lot of vexation to him.

this can hopefully change once pureun returns to tongyeong and tries to not take her friends for granted. hopefully her opening up can show him that she's finally taking steps forward and actively trying to better herself and not just living so passively. i would think they can get a little closer and have a more genuine relationship since there are less misunderstandings!

wang eunbyul. friend. 22.

hey byul, sorry i couldn't make it to your

competition today, my mom hasn't been

feeling good...but i'm sure you did great!!

always a true byul in my eyes :') 푸른

은⭐ oh, it's okay pureun. how's your mom doing?

and thanks...your support means a lot

-----

hey byul, i heard the news...i know it's been a

while since we last talked but i hope you know i'm

here if you want to talk. or...i hope you at least

have someone to talk to, even if it's not me. i can't

imagine what it's like to be in your situation right

now, but please know that you are still loved

and that you still have worth. 푸른

은⭐ typing...

pureun has probably known byul the longest of all the friends, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're the closest. their moms were friends, which meant the two girls frequently grew up seeing each other, but due to pureun's timid nature and just the fact that eunbyul is not extremely outgoing, they didn't really become the best of friends. spending time together seemed to be inevitable, though, since they had been acquaintanced since a young age and then went on to be in the same friend group in middle school, so gradually, they cultivated a pretty solid friendship. it was never really to the point that they would contact each other individually or hang out together outside of the group, but they were never too awkward or distant in the group dynamic.

once they both enter college, though, they start drifting apart, just because they've never been initiative with each other - maybe a couple texts when they needed something or were congratulating each other on their respective endeavors, but other than that, they start to feel the distance making it's impact. things sort of go downhill after eunbyul's accident, in which pureun musters up a bout of courage to reach out after so long of having not spoken to byul. it doesn't exactly go as expected, though, on account of byul's quick descent into bitterness and anger, which prompts a fiery response that only leaves a bitter taste in both of their mouths. there's guilt and regret on both sides, and for pureun it's because she feels bad for not having reached out more before the accident. it's still weird and uncharacteristic for her to reach out again to try and make up with eunbyul, though, so the hurtful exchange is the last note they leave off on.

upon returning to tongyeong, her last encounter with byul is one of the things that fuels the uncertainty with which she goes back - will it be awkward? does eunbyul hate her now? will they just pretend like nothing happened? she doesn't want to dwell on these thoughts for too long, though, as per her newfound motivation to healthily process emotions, so she starts trying to think about how to approach the topic with byul. it isn't easy for them to have that conversation, since eunbyul is also having her own inner turmoil over it, but eventually they'll be able to take that step of self-improvement they each need to improve themselves and their relationship! with that, their friendship would become more genuine and they would start to open up to each other a little more, which could effectively help pureun process emotions better (especially if she hears of eunbyul's struggles with depression, in which she would recognize thoughts and feelings that she herself has felt before, leading to more clarity behind emotions she had once been so confused about).

cha eunho. friend. 22.

차은호 hey pureun, sorry to bother you,

but could you let your dad know he's got

an email waiting for him? my mom said he's

not responding to her... (⌒_⌒;)

oh, yeah!! i'll tell him

i think he's in the shower right now,

probably why he didn't see it yet 푸른

차은호 ohh that's okay, it's no rush

what are u up to rn?

oh, i was just about to go start on dinner! 푸른

차은호 ah, cooking for the family, huh? i feel that

well, i won't bother you, then. see you tmrw!

eunho is another friend that has stood the tests of time with pureun, along with eunbyul. similarly, though, he is not that close with her. she's always thought of him fondly, but it's just always been nothing more, nothing less. granted, it would've been a lot less if they didn't have all the years spent together as substantial foundation for their friendship. they were acquaintanced since a young age as eunho's mother was kangtae's superior at work, and a dabble in piano lessons (which fell through for the cha boys, but resulted in a good friendship between the moms!) led to the families growing even closer. eunho just purely exists in so many of pureun's memories that their friendship seems almost like logic more than anything. he's always been nice to boreum, he's brought boxes of fruit to the shin family on multiple occasions by order of his parents, she's been to his house a small handful of times to watch him bang away helplessly on piano keys, they've shared a couple family dinners together, etc. if she really thinks about it, pureun has had a lot of pleasant memories with eunho. she's the most comfortable with him out of all the guys, since they've known each other for so long, and it shows in the subtle ways she relaxes around him while in the group dynamic.

as she does with everyone else, though, pureun drifts apart from eunho, too, after coming to seoul. they never really texted before anyways, so that doesn't change, and they both start to go through their own issues, so the cease in contact is natural. but it's not like they ever leave off on a bad note or have beef, so when they reunite back in tongyeong, it's actually just really nice to see each other again. if anything, they get to have what feels like another chance at friendship, what with pureun's newfound motivation to be more communicative and the fact that eunho's always wanted to get to know her better.

shin dodam. mother. 54.

"oh, what would i do without you, my pureunarae?"

"hah, well...anything for you, umma."

dodam now is quite jarringly different from dodam before she lost her husband - now she's noticeably stiffer, noticeably guarded. she smiles a little less, sometimes you'll catch her spacing out during her lessons, she suffers from more and more of the typical body pains you get from aging...her grieving period is, to be honest, still not done, and probably never will be, but she was able to clear her head in time for pureun to go off to college with not as much regret about leaving her family. as a mom, she was admittedly much better with a partner by her side, because now she feels like she's starting all over again. she feels a lot of guilt and regret and sorrow when she looks at pureun. she knows how her daughter a lot better than pureun thinks - she knows how much pressure her little girl puts on herself even though no one expects it of her. she knows how much pureun sacrificed when she made the decision to take care of her family. she knows her daughter has been neglecting her own emotions and needs to take care of her older sister and mother - and she knows how wrong that is.

sending pureun to seoul was like a timid apology - a sorry for the past four or so years in which she had been a mess and had so heavily depended on her youngest child. it wasn't exactly intentional, but pureun had just made it so easy for dodam to rely on her for so many things. she didn't know it, but every weak mutter of gratefulness only pushed pureun to believe she had to keep doing it. dodam thinks a lot while pureun is in seoul and feels lots of regret for the years she couldn't be a mother. she wants to be better, so she's trying to pull herself together and take authority of the household once again. if anything, things are just a little awkward now because they've spent a good chunk of time apart and have matured in a lot of different, little ways without each other knowing.

shin boreum. sister. 23.

"unni- unni will carry groceries! be-

because i'm unni. i have to- i have to

take care of my- my dongsaeng!"

"haha...okay, here, let's carry one each."

"now- now it's equal! here, ho- hold

my hand now, pureun!"

"alright, let's go home!"

pureun doesn't know it, but she underestimates boreum a lot. once their dad died and pureun took on the role of caretaker, she unconsciously started to see the word 'unni' as a mere title. she became so focused on understanding boreum's disorder and making sure she was responding to it correctly that it became the forefront of her identity. it started out of affection and concern, but pureun has grown to see boreum more for her autism than anything. not that that's entirely bad - many people with autism don't want to be seen as a person with autism, but rather an autistic person - meaning the autism is a part of who they are as a person, and it's not a handicap or a complete burden. but after having spent so long taking into account boreum's disorder while trying to make sure she's doing okay, pureun's sort of forgot that boreum is still a person, and her older sister at that. a lot of the bitterness towards her family was rooted in the unfairness she felt in having to step up so early and so extremely. she was the youngest, but was taking care of these older figures who were actually supposed to be nurturing her! she felt like she had had to become the older sister for boreum.

of course, boreum doesn't know this, but the truth is, she's actually never really changed her behavior towards pureun. it's just been pureun's mind running wild that caused this shift in perception, but once pureun comes back home with a clear mind, hopefully she can see that boreum has always been the unni. just because she sounds like a child and has similar thought processes to a child doesn't mean she doesn't know her role as the older sister. all this time, boreum's been taking care of pureun, too - making sure she eats the hobak jeon because she needs vegetables, carefully separating all the fries from the ketchup because she knows how much she hates it, gripping her hand tightly and walking close to the inside of the sidewalk because daddy died because of a car, so cars are dangerous.

the daily life

occupation. actress

daily schedule.
since her big debut drama, narae's been pretty busy with promotions and schedules, but currently she's transitioning into a period where she's able to have a little more free time. if she doesn't have any shoots or script readings or interviews, narae will spend her days picking up new hobbies or practicing her lines or watching dramas to study acting techniques. her time off work is rarely spent with other people, as she prefers to savor the seclusion after so much human interaction, but very occasionally she will go out to dinners or hangouts with fellow castmates or staff.

struggles.

emotions if you couldn't tell, pureun is quite a stranger to her own true emotions. when she's in front of a camera, being told how to feel and how to act, it comes easy to her (it's hard to explain why this is, but pureun might argue that she's always been a natural. though she never received professional training or lessons before she auditioned, pureun likes to think that much of her life has been practice enough, since she's spent so many years pretending she's okay when she hasn't been). this is probably why she is so acclaimed as a rookie actress - because she's so good at controlling her emotions. but the more she manipulates them to channel her characters, the more she wonders if her own are even genuine anymore.

ever since she started putting her own emotions and desires on the backburner to take care of her family, pureun has gradually been forgetting how to let herself feel. she's gotten so good at burying hurt, pain, sadness - at disregarding it, pushing away any kind of burdensome emotion that will stumble her or those around her, that she doesn't know how to healthily process them anymore. sometimes she feels like a robot, a walking corpse, even a psychopath, because she is rarely triggered or heavily affected by anything.

pureun is aware of this problem that she has and has always wondered how to work on it, but a lot of things keep her from doing so. the biggest hindrance is fear - she's scared to feel these emotions she's been holding back for so long, she's scared that she won't be able to handle them, she's scared to rely on people like she knows she should so they can keep her accountable and encourage her, she's scared that they'll leave her if she shows that she's weak, she's scared that she'll be letting people down if she reveals that she's not always fine. it would probably take years for her to really get past this, since she's already spent so much time cultivating the habits of reticency, but hopefully junghee's passing, the return to tongyeong, her friends, and her self-awareness can provide a good enough starting boost.

family there's no denying that loving your family can sometimes be the hardest thing. pureun resonates with this strongly, having spent many years in inner turmoil at the burden she sometimes felt from her mother and sister. it wasn't like anyone had pushed the caretaker role onto her after her father's death, but it seemed like no one ever tried to relieve her of it, either, so she couldn't exactly blame one side. pureun won't deny that it can be extremely tiring to just be with her family sometimes. with an autistic sister and an aging mother, there's been lots of responsibility dumped on pureun's shoulders over the years, and a deep part of her treasures the solitude she has in seoul, where she doesn't feel the impending duty to look after them.

however, this surfaces guilt, because she feels like she's running away from her problems by coming to seoul. of course, she never planned on spending the rest of her life catering to her household's every need, but at the same time, she feels like the abruptness with which she dashed off to seoul didn't allow them any time of transition or preparation. when she finds out that she's being called back to tongyeong, she feels almost embarrassed to go back, like she was caught in the act. they might not know, but pureun following her dreams and becoming an actress was almost an active opposal to her role as a daughter and sister.

this is where the struggle with her emotions also comes into play, as she catches herself thinking things like "what if i just never went home, never contacted them again?" and wonders if she's heartless. she also thinks back on her relationship with her sister, simultaneously pondering the meaning of love and evaluating all the other relationships she has in her life, and wonders if she really does love her sister or if she just cares for her out of obligation. these kinds of thoughts scare her and pureun doesn't want them to be true, so she struggles with shedding the bitterness and burden she feels when it comes to her family. it's almost a first instinct for her to claim herself as the victim in that dynamic - she's spent so many years sacrificing her own needs and desires to look after her mother and sister, so she will often feel like she's allowed to be upset, she's allowed to be a little selfish, she's allowed to run away! but pureun knows that's not the right thing to do, so she struggles in reconciling with that once she's home.

friends pureun wouldn't deny that this group of friends are her best friends, but that just proves that the title doesn't really hold much meaning to her. not to say that she throws it around, but just that she doesn't have many friends. she really can't blame anyone for this, and she doesn't, because she knows it's all due to her intentional reticency. initially, it was something of a defense mechanism. after the death of her father, pureun's natural aura of plain shyness turned into a fortified wall, holding back a reservoir of hurt, fear, and trauma at the fragility of human relationships. she was scared to go through that process again and so tried to guard her heart from that possibility, thus effectively distancing herself from her friends. she wasn't able to do so completely, since she wasn't determined enough to go all the way, but it was more of a gradual process. she would hang out with them less, using her family as an excuse to stay home, and she would put in less effort to get to know them, refraining from any conversation deeper than surface level. unsurprisingly, she was a good surface friend - someone that most everyone in the group was fond of, but nothing more. it wasn't long after they all separated for college that she had pretty much lost contact with most of the group.

pureun doesn't necessarily mind the alienation, since she hadn't really tried to maintain the relationships in the first place. she might have messaged a couple friends here and there in the first couple months they were all apart, but once she became an actress, she justified her complete halt in effort with her busy schedule and new lifestyle. things don't feel all that different, to be quite honest, but as time passes, pureun can't help but think about them from time to time. she does miss them, admittedly, because it felt like as much as she tried to distance herself before, it was almost inevitable that she would still have fond memories. laughing around campfires, cramming into small coin noraebang rooms, sneaking out at night to go to the convenience store. these things start to randomly pop up in pureun's head, but when she hears the news about junghee, they all but flood her.

amongst other things, pureun feels immense regret as she reflects on what a poor friend she was to someone who had meant so much to her. in the process of figuring out her return to tongyeong and the journey back, pureun decides that fear is not a worthy opponent. she doesn't want to be thrown into remorse like this again - drowning in guilt and "if only"s. she's determined to be a better friend - to work on being more expressive, to be more communicative, to be more vulnerable. she wants to put in the effort and show these people how much they really mean to her, how fond she has truly grown of them over the years. of course, just because she says she will, doesn't mean it happens so easily. it's unfamiliar terrain for pureun, for sure, but hopefully her friends can be responsive and supportive and she'll be motivated enough to make these changes in her life.

loss losing her dad had thrown pureun into such inner turmoil, becoming the pivotal event that would mark the day she folded in on herself, falling onto a path of intentional isolation and emotional detachment. her coping mechanisms had always been a little unhealthy, since she's prioritized her family since a young age, but kangtae's passing launched her into full defense mode. having already spent so long worrying about her sister, pureun decided to pour herself completely into that so as to ignore these unfamiliar feelings of hurt and grief that threatened to tear her heart apart if she dwelt too long on them. it was at this point that her unhealthy mindset of neglecting her emotions was curated, and to this day pureun can't exactly say with confidence that she's fully processed her father's death.

and then junghee dies. and in such a similar way to kangtae's death. it's the second time someone so precious to pureun has been taken away so prematurely, and she feels all the emotions that overwhelmed her the first time coming back in a flood, threatening once again to tear her heart in two if she thinks about them for too long. the death of a loved one is never easy to get over, but junghee's passing triggers a different response in pureun. being back in tongyeong, seeing her friends and family again, having all these other epiphanies about how passively she's been living, pureun wants to learn to mourn properly instead of closing herself off again. as much as this is an improvement in her journey of healthily processing emotions, it's still extremely difficult, because as much as she's doing this to feel the good emotions of life, like joy and fond nostalgia, she's realizing that they come hand in hand with their counterparts of sorrow and grief.

her career this isn't as weighty as the others, but it's definitely in the back of her mind. in a way, pureunarae is just getting started as an actress. she feels all but lucky that she was able to debut in a drama that did so well, but she worries that stepping away from the scene at what could easily be her prime won't do so well for her reputation. it's pretty much a baseless worry and mostly her imagination running wild, but the little inhumane devil inside of her makes her wonder if coming back was really the best decision to make. she struggles with reconciling the fact that it's exactly these kinds of decisions that distinguish her from the unfeeling robot she sometimes thinks she is and the emotional being she really is, as well as the aspect of returning home with such a different context to her name, one that her family had never been prepared for.

it almost feels like returning as a different person. pureun had never expressed to...well, anyone, really, her desire to become an actress, even her family. so while it came as a surprise to everyone from tongyeong, her mother was probably the most confounded. there are so many different sides to her daughter she's now seeing (quite literally) and it makes her wonder if she ever did really know pureunarae. pureun's return makes dodam realize, regrettably, that the answer is no. there were a lot of things she didn't know about her youngest child. returning home feeling sort of exposed, pureun is, in a way, forced by her career to be more 'tell all' about her mental state and inner struggles, with her mother specifically.

seeing as the root of all these struggles is pureun's inability to express herself, it's safe to say that no one really knows of her inner anxieties. they may assume or wonder, but she never confirms any of their unvoiced concerns in any way she's never been the type to ask for help, either, even for menial everyday tasks, having always been used to doing things on her own and feeling like she had no one to turn to for assistance. once she starts learning how to be more vulnerable, though, and is able to open up to her loved ones, they become aware of the things she's gone through and is currently going through and are hopefully able to be the support system she needs!

the lover

name

face claim

backup face claim

nicknames.

- here / who calls them this and why
- here / who calls them this and why

date of birth & age. month day, year || ??

place of birth. here

hometown. here

nationality. here

ethnicity. here

occupation. here

personality.
does not need to be as indept as your character's.

background.
does not need to be as detailed as your character's just highlight key points in their background.

current relationship status. friends? crushing? dating? etc.

their love story. how did they meet? how has their relationship developed or will develope? what are their interactions?

ending. will they end up together? break up? get engaged? what outcome do you want for them?

trivia.
- here
- here

the interview

are you ready to return to tongyeong? why or why not?

uh...not really. she chuckles awkwardly. i...well...didn't think i'd be going back for a while, actually. she tries not to let surface the creeping thought in the back of her mind that she's possibly been intentionally avoiding returning, instead giving the lame, abrupt excuse that i always wanted to go back after i had really...succeeded, you know. so i could make my family proud.

did you keep in contact with any of your friends in the group? if yes, who did you keep in contact with? if no, why didn't you keep in contact with your friends?

ah, not...exactly. she twiddles with her fingers and glances down momentarily, something that feels like guilt creeping up her spine. i've never been the best at...texting or messaging or things like that, so we all kind of just...gradually stopped talking. i think i talked to junghee the most, and even that wasn't...a lot... she trails off, the guilt becoming more definite as she regrets never trying to reach out.

what were you doing when you received the news that junghee passed?

i...had actually received the news that...i got the role in a new upcoming drama... she fiddles with her fingers some more, anxiously picking at nonexistent hangnails. oh, it wasn't- it wasn't the exact same day, i was told this the day before i heard about...junghee... she falters, her voice fading, and she looks down at her hands. i was preparing to give them a response, but when i heard the news, i- i declined. being pureun, she keeps her answer vague, not going into detail about how she had actually been eating out with some staff when she got the text. how she had lied about not being hungry anymore, how she had almost felt like throwing up just from the sheer effort of trying to hold in the grief until she got home. how she wrestled with her tears even without prying eyes watching her, and how, for a second, she considered taking the deal and telling her friends she couldn't go back to tongyeong. how she debated over choosing this drama she had actually really wanted to be a part of or the paying of respects to one of her most precious friends, and how she hated that she would second guess something like that. how deep down, a part of her wondered if she just ended up making the decision to prove to herself that she was still human.

is there anything you wish you would have told junghee before she died?

pureun's eyes sparkle as tears start to form in her eyes. there are too many answers for this question, and they race through her mind, giving her a headache. thank you for everything, i'm sorry for everything, i wish we had more time, i was a horrible friend, i never got to tell you how much you mean to me, i love you. she can't say all this right now, though, and she doesn't want to burst into tears, so she just gives a small, weak smile, her vision starting to blur. i...i don't know. i guess...i- i miss you, junghee. i've missed you for so long...and now i'll never stop missing you.

what is your favorite memory with junghee?

oh, god... her tone is evocative of one that says "there's just too many to choose from!", but in actuality, it's just a "oh god, now i'm definitely gonna cry." she tries to think hard enough to really remember all those good times, but not hard enough that she'll break. the tears she thought she'd escaped from the last question return steadily, to the point where blinking them away is not an option. i remember...one time, at like, midnight...she got me to sneak out of my house so i would go to the convenience store with her. pureun chuckles fondly as she speaks. it was pretty crazy, i would never do anything that spontaneous. but junghee...was always able to make me second guess...what i thought i knew about myself. this answer is strangely candid, but pureun almost doesn't even realize. she reminisces on that night, where they spent around an hour just having good conversation over triangle kimbap and instant noodles. it was one of the most pure, genuine interactions pureun had ever had with any of her friends. she had shared a little bit about one of her small daily struggles, and it wasn't much, but it was still noteworthy enough for her to come out of it wondering why she didn't do this more often. it evidently hadn't been enough for pureun to continue refining that habit, but it has always been a fond memory, one that now brings her no choice but to let tears fall.

what would you say is your way of coping with stressful and emotional situations?

oh, uh... pureun is taken aback by the straightforward question which directly attacks her insecurities and issues that she is well aware she has. well, i actually...don't really have...a, er, set...method...she dances around her answer, not knowing how to admit that truthfully, she just doesn't.

is there anything you'd like to tell your friends?

my friends? for a second, pureun thinks - what friends? this thought is not out of bitterness towards them, but simply exemplary of the distance pureun has put up both mentally and physically. they've receded to a corner of pureun's brain that she tends to disregard for the plain reason of out of sight, out of mind. well...i just wish...we all could've reunited under...better circumstances. but i hope you've all been doing well. she gives a small, close-lipped smile, guilt creeping up on her once again as she thinks about the lack of effort she put in to keep in contact with her friends. she wonders - if they heard me saying this, would they laugh in my face? would they call me a hypocrite, say i'm lying? not believe that i really do miss them?

if you were asked to stay a few more days, maybe even a week for your friends, would you be willing to stay?

oh, uh, well...i guess? it sounds like she's asking the questions now. to be honest, i haven't thought all that much about how long i'm going to be staying in tongyeong... multiple thoughts run through her head, a pros and cons list forming amidst the jumble. on one hand, she doesn't really have much reason to be rushing back since she declined that drama offer, but on the other hand, is she ready to be back for such an extended period of time in such a dismal context? there's a strong aura of unfinished business in tongyeong for pureun, but... if my friends need it, then...i want to be there for them.

final goodbyes

moongkeul. moon. 80%.
turn in. back to story. cheatsheet.

comments/questions/suggestions. wow i feel like i wrote so much but still am not sure i was able to get all my points across ?? i hope it's not too hard to grasp pureunarae's character and her struggles and all that, but i think the biggest thing i would want to say about her is that she needs to recognize and accept that if she wants to feel at all, she's gonna have to feel it all. she can't pick and choose just the good feelings, because realistically, without the anger, the hurt, and the sorrow, the joy and the laughs and the relief are never as sweet. also, i lowkey just didn't have time for the li section, but i also don't feel a strong need to give pureun a love interest because i want her to focus on her friends and family first! though if i get accepted and you so allow, i might have some ideas :')

scene requests.

❀ the gang teasing her about her cf's and making her do it for them

❀ they go to noraebang to relieve all the stress pent up by all of them from the past years and pureun actually sings a kind of hype song !!!?! and she gets super embarassed after, sweater paws and all

❀ pureun cries. a lot. genuinely.

❀ pureun and raon have a deep talk ?????????

password. remember when we did secret santa that one year and junghee had muyeol and she gave him a framed picture of herself? and he was genuinely kind of sad but then she gave him the real present and he couldn't stop smiling because he loved it so much