born on the island known for its natural wonders, mirinae was named after the jeju dialect of "meteor". her family were always just getting by. her mother and her siblings ran a seafood restaurant while her father had to be separated from their family to search for a better paying job in the capital city of seoul. her mother was slightly relieved when her father informed her of his new job as a personal driver for a chaebol family he calls "the lees". due to his new job in seoul, mirinae and her sister mira rarely see their father. perhaps, he comes to jeju twice a year at the least but that was it.

of course, the sister couldn't complain as their father was working to pay their bills and education. mirinae's older sister, mira is nine years older than her so what their parents lack in, mira filled that hole for mirinae. mira never complained about their bare minimum lifestyle, she was the courageous and dutiful firstborn while mirinae was the naive youngest. mira had to teach her life lessons and how to accept reality as they are. basically, to not complain. at least, her mother and her siblings showered her with love and attention mira chose not to give.

mirinae would overhear her sister talk on her phone with their father. something about the hospital. some sort of disease, perhaps. young mirinae would've never predicted what happened next. she was only seven years old at the time so when she heard mira cry in her room, she hesitated to knock. wouldn't mira just swat her away? it was clear that something happened from the distraught look on mira's face during dinner. what happened? mirinae whispered to her sister. that night, mira pulled her into a serious conversation. mom has small cell lung cancer so we have to get her treatment was the essence of the conversation. mirinae didn't understand at the time. how could her mom be sick? she looks just fine and she's always eating well. mira refuses to answer that question and instead, would encourage to pack her stuff.

her mother entrusted the seafood restaurant to her siblings as they packed their bags and moved to seoul. mira and mirinae both had to transfer schools to those in seoul. her mother was admitted to the hospital a week after they settled into their father's living space that is a part of the residence of "the lees". mira decided to help make ends meet by working part-time at a convenience store and a barbeque restaurant when she's not at school. mirinae? she was making new friends and enjoying time with her father who would never go home empty-handed. in attempt to mend his relationship with his younger daughter, he always had candy or chocolate for her when he comes home. the smile she showed the moment she sees him melts his heart every single time.

mira always brought mirinae to see their mother every friday night and on the weekends. mirinae would argue with her sister that she wants to see their mother on other days but mira rejected. i have to be there to keep an eye on you, miri. mira didn't know that on some days, her father would bring mirinae to her mother. she wasn't getting any better. mirinae heard something about the disease being detected too late and that it's spread outside the lung.

she never knew what that meant until not so long after a year, mirinae had the saddest day of her life. it was a friday night when mira and her father brought her to see her mother. her hand was cold, she wasn't as responsive to mirinae as she was before, her eyes were hollow. mirinae would never go home before she sang all the lullabies her mother sung to her when they were back in jeju. that night was no different. mirinae was in the middle of her lullabies when her mother closed her eyes.

after mirinae finished her lullabies, as if her mother was waiting for the songs to end, her vital signs monitor showed that her heart stopped beating. just like that. mira started crying, their father called for the nurse and the doctor while she stood still, her mother's hand still in hers. it took her quite a few minutes for the reality to sink in. she remembered what mira taught her but nothing she taught her could prepare her for this moment.the sadness that she never knew she had poured out as she bursted into tears. she just lost her mother.

young mirinae tried to find a way to cope after the funeral so she sang. at night, she would sing the lullabies her mother would hum to her. she would find a spot where she can be alone and sing. until her mind stopped trying to make her sad. she didn't know what those feelings or thoughts that surge into her mind meant. she just knew they made her feel like a pathetic, sad young girl. it was only later in life, after she became an adult, would she label those feelings and thoughts as grief.

she was only eight but ever since the passing of her mother, mirinae found strength in singing away her feelings and emotions. while this newly found strength gave her the power to move on, mira started to cry herself to sleep and her father pulled in more working hours to avoid drinking his grief away. young mirinae thought that it was up to her to cheer everyone up so on a saturday morning, she gathered mira and her father and she sang i'm your girl by s.e.s, the song her mother would sing when she's in a good mood. the morning ended up with mira and her father hugging her as they cried their griefs away. we're going to get through this together.

mira continued to do part-time jobs while her father continued taking on more working hours. this pattern of her family went on until mira graduated high school. she went on to enroll in the korea national open university in the department of youth education. it was the cheapest university she could find in seoul that had online courses. after graduating high school, mira started to work full-time as a part of the housekeeping staff of "the lees". mirinae kept raising her dreams for singing inside her heart. she just never asked for more. like what her sister taught her, she had to accept reality. mirinae watched as her sister worked her off to help pay off her own college tuition. a picture of their mother was present when mira successfully graduated in four years.

mirinae personally spent a lot of time near "the lees", considering the fact that the roof they sleep under is a part of the residence. mira was reassured in a sense, knowing that the youngest son was the same age as mirinae. lee taeha. mirinae always kept the youngest son company when he needed it. otherwise, mirinae would just go back to where she lives and play by herself. over the years, she became the only one in her family to address taeha informally.

taeha's brother, taejun had always admired "song driver" as the older male would always work hard and do all sorts of things to earn more by the hour. the stories taejun heard about mirinae and mira really struck him emotionally. perhaps, out of all the house stuff, mirinae's father was his favorite and he was the one who popped the idea of attending the funeral of mirinae's mother to his father. that was perhaps the first time he paid attention to mirinae. mira was a crying mess but the young girl was quiet. he always saw her from afar when she played with taeha and perhaps, even now, that was the only time he saw no glimmer in her eyes.

mirinae's high school life was nothing colorful. she was average in her class and there was nothing spectacular about her at school so it was surprising to find out that she ended up enrolling in college after all. mira encouraged her to do so because she said mom would have wanted her to. mirinae enrolled in korea national open university, much like her sister but in the department of media arts and science. she started taking part-time jobs like mira did as mirinae wanted to help her family earn more. she worked part-time as a waitress at an italian restaurant and as a cashier at a coffee shop. that was when she understood what mira was going through and how she was feeling. life was tough but i can't crumble so i have to be tougher even if i'm naturally not tough at all. there was a sense of pride she got when she managed to graduate and as if it's a ritual, a picture of her mother was present in the graduation photos. she even found out what it was like to pay off a part of her tuition fee with her own money.  

after graduating from college, she managed to gather enough money to buy a cheap used guitar that she would learn how to play every single day. she caught on fast and soon, she was showing mira and her father that she could play the guitar while singing. taeha pointed out that she could do better while taejun heard of this and he clapped at her determination, even complimenting her voice. you could earn some good money with that voice, keep going. taejun never talked to her before so she was surprised. listening to taejun's words, mirinae start busking in daehangno, hongdae and sinchon which were the youthful areas.

she didn't earn much from busking since it was totally up to the passerbys how much they want to "tip" her but she was fine with that. she felt alive, free and happy when she sings now. she no longer has that tint of sadness she used to sing with when she was still griefing. taeha managed to enjoy her busking once and took video proof of it. he admitted that she was better than the last time she showed him her singing. her busking continued and taeha would find himself frequently stopping by and slipping in some extra "tips" for her before walking away.

when taejun was developing lune blue's lineup, he heard from taeha that mirinae's singing improved a lot. taeha showed him a video of her busking and this led taejun to find her at her usual spot. he enjoyed her performance and knew that she always had a glimmer to her but her growth over the years made her more ripe, more ready, somewhat more mature. when it was time for her to pack up, he approached her.

i know this is probably overdued but we have our own history so i can help you gain a lot more than this. what do you say, song mirinae?   

compassionate, prudent,
unassuming, altruistic, resilient
 infj-t, turbulent advocate 
 ravenclaw, lawful neutral 
private, tangled, apprehensive
self-reliant, overextended

-: compassionate, altruistic :-
the two sisters walked side by side as mira exited from her graduation ceremony. their father was somewhere else in the crowd, taking a call from his superiors. it was a rare moment of silence between the two sisters.

"eonni, you know i grew up not knocking on your door because i know you would hate it. i thought that i'd be too selfish if i did but maybe, i'm regretting holding back. i was too young. the truth is, i care about you more than you could ever imagine. i don't want to lose you, too."

"miri, you've done enough. you hardly complain, you always cheered me and dad up. you always put us first. you always gave more to us than what you take. mom would be proud, you know, because you take after her a lot."

that hit differently to mirinae. her mom always put others first, even when she was sick. her mom always cared for those around her and just had this ability to know what to do for them. 

"eonni, i hope you know that i'll always be there for you even if you think i'm not. we've been through a lot together so we should at least let our guard down around each other, no?" 

mira nodded before surprising mirinae with a hug, "what would me and dad be without you?"   

-: unassuming :-
"you know, miri, you're one of the biggest plot twists i've ever met in my life," taeha told her as he continued to watch her tune her guitar. he was holding a cup of coffee, which she heard is more expensive than the clothes she wore.

"why is that?" she said, not giving him a look as she focused solely on tuning her guitar.

"ask anybody around here. you're always doing your own thing all the time but you never ask for attention or praise and you're always really polite to anyone." taeha said before taking a sip of coffee from his cup. mirinae smiled.

"you really think so?" she whistled as her guitar was finally in the correct tune. taeha smiled.

"heck yeah, people with a sense of modesty is hard to come by these days. just ask taejun. he's dealt with some arrogant bastards. my advice is you should always live with it because you're like the least arrogant person i know."

mirinae finally gave him a look as she put on a closed lip smile, "well, i guess that's what i'm going to do. always have, always will."   

-: resilient, prudent :-
unlike what other people think, mirinae did cry, just not in front of other people. after facing her mother's death upfront or at her funeral, she excused herself to the restroom. that was the only time she would cry. she didn't even cry much, considering her age and situation.

she didn't want to cry in front of her father or mira. if both of them cried, what would that feel for her father as he lived on? even if she was still young, she wanted to bounce back from grief quickly. she didn't want to break.

remembering what mira taught her, she accepted reality and not complain. nothing could be done to reverse the past so she had to learn to find a happy place, to be able to move on and keep going. she had the future to think about; what she wanted to study, what she wanted to work for, what kind of person she wanted to become and be remembered by.

if you asked her, mirinae could confidently say that as she learned to bounce back, she learned to know what's the right thing to do and to choose wisely how she wants to achieve it. she'd also add, "life was tough but i didn't want to crumble so i had to become tougher than life even if i'm naturally not tough at all. rebuilding myself after every blow is probably what made me who i am right now."     

-: private, tangled, self-reliant :-
mirinae knew keeping her emotions to herself was bad but she can't help that it's become her coping mechanism since the passing of her mother. she had to have control of her emotions so when she was griefing, she tried to come to terms with it by seeing it in a positive light.

at least now, mom won't be sick anymore.

deep down, her emotions are tangled, messy and over the place. they are the accumulation of all the emotions she has yet to control and put order to. she's always so resolute on resolving such emotions alone so she never lets anyone see her unravel. she holds on to the thought that she always has to have her together. 

she doesn't want to seem like she's losing control of herself so there are facades she puts on to keep herself from having to open up. she doesn't avoid these emotions, it's just that she always thinks that she can handle them by herself without telling others about it.

so, even if it's mira asking her whether or not she's fine, mirinae won't hesitate to answer, "i'm always fine, don't worry about me, eonni."  

-: overextended, self-reliant :-
"are you sure you're not overworking yourself? you've never worked part-time before." mira would ask as they ate breakfast together.

i definitely am, mirinae answered in her mind but the answer she let out was different, "nah, you had it worst than i did. i'm sure i'm fine."

mirinae can't help the fact that she was lying through her teeth. she had always taken more than she could chew, even if it's not expected of her. she always had to push herself to take up more in growing up and in taking responsibility.

she forgets that she and mira were two different individuals who lived their lives in different paces. mirinae knew she didn't have to take on as much as she did but she would reason to herself that mira probably did more than she was doing. i have to learn to stop taking on too much sometimes, i have my own pace.

"that's good to know, if you need anything, just text me, miri." mira said as she stood up to wash her dishes. mirinae forced a smile.

mira will never know how overwhelmed and overextended she was right now. even if it was tough for her, mirinae relied on herself too much to solve her own problems to tell her sister.

-: apprehensive :-
"hey mom, it's miri, i finally had time to come alone. i finally turned twenty." mirinae said as she caressed the glass between her and her mother's urn. for the first time since her mother's passing, she decided to visit the columbarium alone.

as she observed her mother's picture, she started to succumb to her emotions, in all of its tangled and messed up nature. 

"mom, do you know that i always live with a part of my heart worried that something bad will happen? i never knew i could be such a worrywart." mirinae said through her sobbing. thank god, there were no other visitors at the time. otherwise, mirinae would never unravel.

"even if i'm confident with my decisions, i can't help but worry. about me, about mira, about dad, about everybody. you know me, mom, i always try to do good for others but what if i can't? what if some day, i lose control and make the wrong decision? what'll happen then?"

mirinae's knees gave way and her body fell to a squat. she tried to calm herself down as she wiped away her tears. it took her a while before she stood back up from her position.

"even if i'm like this, even if i'm so messy inside, i just have to live with it. even if i worry like hell about things, i'll try to breath through it, mom. i know you'd say the same thing to me."