shim chwang's getting married!!!! *blows horn, throws confetti* CONGRATS! he's 32 now, debuted when he was 15 and went through lifetimes enough of trauma and pain. i'm so glad he's found someone he can be happy with <33333

but to the main part of the blog, i guess.

people might hate me for this, but i'm not into kpop just for the music. kpop is designed so that the idols' personalities are part of the deal too! i really love the music but i'd be lying if i said that music was the entire reason i'm into kpop. because it's not! i'm into kpop for the idols too, and i think most of us understand that, but there are still a lot of people who seem to think it's, what, superior to only be into kpop for the music.

ofc you're valid either way, and you shouldn't put other ppl down because of how they want to enjoy kpop, but i digress. the point is, if you're like me and you're fairly invested into the idols as people, not just musicians, then you'll probably feel just a liiiiittle bit hurt or disappointed that your idols are dating/marrying. it's not a thing to be ashamed of, or necessarily even a bad thing. 

we're all human, and as humans, we fall for other humans. for many, kpop is a sanctuary, a coping mechanism, and if we can make ourselves happy by watching our idols be cute and stupid, then that's valid for us. i can't tell you how many times i've cheered up from a bad day by watching tvxq. i can't tell you the number of times i've watched shim changmin be stupid and fall just a little bit in love. it's not a bad thing; it's just human.

but, that being said, idols are only human too. all of these idols gave away their childhoods and normal lives for this job. they fall in love, they date, they marry, though it's so much harder for them than for us. they deserve to be happy too. it's not their job to be our entire lives; shinhwa's dongwan famously said something along the lines of 'shinhwa is not responsible for your lives' and it's true! we all have lives outside of kpop and we should definitely prioritize real life over kpop.

that's what our idols do too. kpop is their job, they make music to stay alive, but they have lives too. they've made us happy and it's our jobs to stay with them to make them happy, but we've got to realize that some things we can't do. we can't marry them, can't live with them, and honestly, we shouldn't. most of us like the image of perfection that the companies throw up around the idols, and so we idealize them, but in real life, they're HUMAN and have bad habits too.

there's nothing wrong with having a fantasy of getting together with your idol, or shipping them with their band members or other idols/actors. there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you keep it to yourself and to a reasonable degree. you ARE, however, a bad person if you go comment on your idols' posts like OMG WHY ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED, I LOVE YOU PLS DON'T GET MARRIED, I FEEL SO BETRAYED, I THINK YOU SHOULD MARRY [insert band member here] INSTEAD, etc. you would DEFINITELY be a bad person if you did that because you're invalidating their feelings and their lives and taking your own selfish fantasies to an extreme.

it's fine with having fantasies like this, but you can't get lost in them and lose sight of reality.

i'm happy for changmin, really am! but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't just a bit hurt because i'm so attached to him and maybe, to a certain degree, want him to stay with yunho forever. but, you know what? yunho will likely get married too, and he'll be happy too. does it make me a bad person for not wanting him to? no. but i'd be a bad person if i commented on his insta to PLS NEVER GET MARRIED ILYSM lmao. am i going to stop writing tvxq or stop shipping them? no. does that make me a bad person? no, unless i go comment on his insta OMGGG GET MARRIED TO CHANGMINNNN MAKE HIM DIVORCE HIS WIFE.

lol.

my point is, you're not a bad person for being happy but also being hurt. we're all only human, and it's natural to fall for someone who seems perfect in all aspects. but as long as you keep your thoughts (generally) to yourself and the kpop community and don't do/say anything to hurt the idol themselves, you're not a bad person for having your fantasies/ships. kpop fans nowadays tends to be a bit sensitive about this, and i don't want anyone to feel bad about having these conflicting thoughts.

tl;dr: you can be happy for your dating/married idol while also being hurt because you love them a lot. it's not a bad thing unless you go comment hurtful things on their social media.

you can find essentially the same words on my twitter, and here's another twitter post that says some great words: from what we understand of changmin's letter, tvxq and yunho and the fans are still changmin's priority.

request fics on my cc. i write more than just tvxq lol