I hate numbers, stats, etc...I hate that I'm so interested in it. 

I'm not gonna talk about the subject but I'm gonna talk about stats about our stories. 

I like to consider myself as a strong headed person, and doesn't easily get affected by people's opinion, and doesn't need constant validation. You are your own worst critic, I truly believe. 

However, recently, I have been feeling confused as a (hobby) writer. When I say 'recently', I mean since I came back from my hiatus (September 2019). I don't know why I get so demotivated by people who doesn't leave comments. I know some of you might say "it's normal" to feel that way. But I'm weird, hear me out. I like the human brain, I like understanding things to an extent that interests me. One part of me, I shouldn't feel demotivated because they're just comments, you know to yourself you have a decent story. That's enough motivation to write. 

Another part of me, why am I so demotivated with the lack of feedback? 

I honestly can't articulate my thoughts. Can't find answers. And I do believe to solve a problem, you gotta find the root first. So, let's solve this. And slowly, I'm understanding why. 

It's because of numbers. Statistics. 

I get so hung up by numbers. The number of views per chapter, the number of votes, the number of comments. It makes me a little competitive, maybe I'm not the only one here.

When I get a number of votes per update, I try my best not to get spoiled by it--I really tried, because it was never good to be spoiled. But it was kinda inevitable, I got a little spoiled by it and gets a bit sad when I don't receive the same 'number' on an update. It gets you thinking "Was I bad? Was the chapter bad?"

*sighs*

I guess that's how really people react when people gets some attention--some constant attention and then poof. 

When I saw an author said "I think reading the comments are becoming a new happiness for me." I was like, Ha. that's a goddamn trap. Trap, I say to you. Don't fall into it.

I admire authors who do something about silent readers whatever their methods may be, and also authors who doesn't give about silent readers and just enjoys their content. Ok maybe I said it wrong--maybe they do care about silent readers, but they enjoy their content more. I wish I have the heart to do something about the silent readers, and/or, be as content as whatever i do. 

If you have instagram. Do you know why they removed the number of likes per posts? Or people who view your story disappeared after 24-48hrs? I don't need to research about why they did that. It's because people gets so obsessed with numbers, makes them do tons of things beyond imaginable just for likes, just for status. Some people really do need an immense amount of validation, you have no idea. It doesn't look good. I have friends who thinks they are entertaining, but just cringey (dw. I don't back stab them. I tell them what I think--they accept if it's from me haha. I'm a true friend XD) And I'm glad instagram did something about it. I mean I was pretty sad I couldn't now see who views my stories after 24 hrs since I'm not always on instagram to check it. But after that, I stopped giving a damn who views my stories. When I see the guy I like view my story---that's enough for me HAHHA jk mwah :*

If you really think about it, at some aspects/angle, it's pretty similar to stories. The variables just changed. Instead of pictures--here, it's stories. Instead of vanity--here, it's creativity. Jk there're a lot of creative people on IG, i'm just trying to make a point. 

Before you come at me that they're not the same. I do believe it's all about the little things. I'm all about analogies. It's the idea. It's like the "A person who is nice to you but is not nice to a waiter is not a nice person" type of thing. I hope you've heard of that saying. and i hope you could correlate what I'm trying to say. 

For me, it's like the movies. I love watching movies, but I don't like watching series. For me, it's like commitment. I can't commit to long stuff T_T xoxad. Even on stories, I could only finish one shots.

Little things. 

What we act on the little things, sometimes, we also do to important things. But hey, I'm pretty passionate. I mean if you've seen my works around here, you must've known my affection for batman? :3 (It's my goddamn avatar and goddamn name. fcol)

What I'm trying to say is numbers became a huge part of an author's life despite you're writing words (funny, right?). Be it a published or a hobby writer. For published writers, it might be the sales, number of copies, or even status 

But I'm not here to invalidate anyone for feeling anything, bc really--it's really normal. But we, no--I aslo gotta understand why am I feeling this way. (And honestly, after writing this supposedly a cathartic draft post, I felt better. I wrote most of this more or less 2 weeks ago ago (apr 10) btw--with raw thoughts.)

This is one part of the thing I want to get answered. Now, the second one is that: Why readers now so silent? So goddamn silent. 

But before we get there, I had a discussion with a friend months ago why suddenly AFF, or other writing sites as a matter of a fact, went low--or dead? My best guess is really streaming sites. Netflix, Youtube etc. We, as humans, have evolved once again. From creating written stories to creating watchable content. We have become lazier and lazier by the years. Lol jk 1/2. But yes, as a developer myself, yup we create technologies to make things easier, thus, making people lazier. 

If before we can only create stories through textual content, now, everyone has more access/ways to create your own story thanks to youtube, for one, and then Instagram. And it is much more favorable to the masses. And then, technology gets better and better. There are more distractions. Thus, some or many users here transfer to a much more entertaining platform. Or they just got busier.

Anyway, that's my best guess to the answer "Why AFF is dead?"

Also, I noticed a demographic pattern after I came back from my 2-year hiatus. Please don't take it seriously but before--we're just bunch of single people here on AFF, but now, wow, I see the opposite, and surprisingly so, some are even married. It was interesting. It made me wonder. But hey, maybe I was just ignorant before. 

Now let's get back why readers became more silent. 

As I was looking through my old fictions, I was so overwhelmed by the comments that I received. Before, I thought it was, like, normal and maybe even thought it was few. But holy hell, look at where we are now. Authors looked desperate for feedback, of course, that includes me. Never thought about it much but--I AM VERY VERY SORRY--but I was less appreciative, I think, before with the people who supported me on whatever I do or write. Of course, they may be few but, shamefully, I only realized now how I appreciated them so much, I still remember some unforgettable readers, but I don't reply much, sometimes, not at all. But I'm always a busy person, before and now. And honestly, knowing myself back then--I was mostly doing this for myself and my ideas, and to spread my ideas and hopefully give impact. I'm glad if you liked my works. If you don't, my insensitive self back then don't give a damn. But if I did give a damn, I took it as a learning experience. Greatly appreciated if you leave a feedback, and I love reactions.

The only thing I liked now is that the bidding is much less competitive than it was before. Haha. You have no idea, I mean jk, maybe you have an idea. I remember winning twice, and one bid cost me like 5 digits. And 5 digits is like a really normal thing before T_T. But it's pretty damn worth it if you compare now, because--my heart definitely aches not only for me but also for other bidders if we spent thousands of KPs and getting no comments. It's just heartbreaking. Makes you really wonder if bidding is really worth it. 

To give you an idea how different it was before. When I won a bid before, it gained me more or less 500-700 subs, and rendered more or less 25-30 comments in a day and it's a oneshot. And NOW, you're 'very lucky' if you get 10 comments on your bid.  And some of them are goddamn spammers.

And you know, I posted about it on my feed. I said and quote, "i did the math. youre considered very lucky if you get 10% of your subscribers (this is per head) comment on your story. otherwise, it's usually just 0-6% xd"

And I posted that on September 2019. Same month when I came back here. I have been contemplating about this subject for quite a while. 

See, wtf, numbers again. Whoosh. 

Anyway, I'm talking nonsense. So, why readers became more silent?

I honestly really don't know. I'm no reader myself to speak for them. But if I'm going to rely on my wild guesses. One wild guess would be... Since we now live in a world full of opinions and information and has the feel of need to be right, "some" readers are scared to say something wrong. And since we live in such a judgemental time, maybe this reader is scared to be judged by the author and/or other readers. Maybe we don't know one reader already had a 4-line comment written on that box, but anxiety attacked them, so they'd rather not post it. Some personalities are like this, I understand. I think now, we have become way too analytical even on the simplest things, even on replies. I'm even guilty on this  (but i've always been analytical, but im v chill bruh. read my next page)

Actually, I noticed a difference from readers before and readers now. The content of comments from readers before are much more chapter-oriented and light hearted. And the content of comments from readers now are mostly predictions(???) correct me if I'm wrong. Idk if that tells us/you something. Or am I writing too much mystery fics (fyi i only have one or two or three)? I'm just laying it out there. 

PS: I don't like to read, so instead of using that time to read when I have time, I observe. That's why you may also see me around the blog section (when I have a lot of time in my hands)

Another wild guess would be based on my sister. My sister is a pure reader. Though, I'm pretty sure she doesn't leave comments. Why? Hmm. Idk maybe she doesn't really care about the author, sadly T_T. She only cares about her own satisfaction and indulgence. It hurts as I'm typing this, but some readers are like my goddamn sister. Maybe a huge percentage of them are. (o_o  )(  o_o). I mean imagine other people like her? It's like the blogs outside aff, a lot of us, myself included, doesn't really leave comments much. We just take things for granted. Little things. We teach people to be selfish to love oneself. Ha. Jokes on us.

But I understand AFF is a whole different platform. I treat this place as my sanctuary. Writing is definitely different in many aspects. But yeah. irdkwhatimblabberingabout.

And if you're a reader who leaves comments, stay that way. You're a wonderful human being <333 And thank you so much for bringing joy to us, authors. 

To all readers, I hope you understand that your authors may sound demanding at times, don't hate on them. Just understand. Show them your love. I saw this post on the gallery, maybe this could help to let author know your thoughts if you don't know what to say. click

And if you're an author, I hope readers don't get the best of you. It's hard, but it's all about tough love. 

*warning: below is raw rant*

I'm going to confess and rant. But I don't like when readers expect authors to reply to them. It's as if authors do all the work. From planning the story, from researching, to executing, to writing, to posting. Now, readers also want to get replied? I mean, isn't the chapter we wrote enough T___T Isn't us updating enough as a response to you? T___T I mean, I do try reply to comments now. Authors defintely read comments, and 5000% appreciate them. Why would they ask feedback in the first place? But I don't think the authors should feel obligated to reply to readers.

 Oh, some of you might say, "But the authors demanded comments"

Oh give them a break, this is also for you, if you want to read their stories they write for free in their precious time. 

If the author stopped updating--now, that's your response.

I understand that some personalities takes real courage to say something out there,  and wants the author's feedback to somewhat like validate their thoughts. But there are no right or wrong comments, (except maybe "update soon" owo) only good and bad ones

I was planning to disable the comments again. But okay, after some consideration, I'm enabling them for those people who want to speak their mind freely (i mean if there are people). You won't be judged, at least, by me. Maybe some passerby want to read your thoughts. But please dont expect a response from me. I just want to mind my own business. Don't really want to quarrel online. If you agree with it, I'm glad. I hope I was able to deliver a message :) If you want to quarrel with me, let's get some beer and have an intellectual friendly conversation in person. I can also roll with coffee or tea. But beer, sometimes, it wakes the sleeping debater in you and forget about it tomorrow ;)))))

This post won't resolve anything at all. But I hope to give you a piece of my mind, and hopefully give better understanding about things though I'm not claiming mine are right. Whatever happens beyond this post is what matters. 

PS: Title is a clickbait dont take it too seriously. 
PPS: theres a next page???